Death

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SSVDP said:
It is natural to wonder about a topic that we will never understand. People have thought about this since before recorded history. But it’s not healthy to dwell on it.
A little bit of effort on your part can ease the burden & confusion of your passing. By getting your info summarized (bank accounts, insurance policy, auto titles, property info and of course a will) can really save those you care about from a lot of stress.
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You should also complete a legal living will that outlines your wishes if you are incapacitated or terminal... Let's not make our loved ones or the state make that decision
 
I went through a bit of a rough patch about 7 years ago, mom passed in November, and then my uncle in January. They were the last two of their generation in our family.
I started freaking out because this meant that me and my brothers are the "old people" in the family now, and it's our turn to start dying off.
For about 6 month I was walking on eggshells thinking that any day now I'm just going to fall over dead of a heart attack or something. I eventually got past it, but it's still kind of in the back of my mind.
 
MileHighDart said:
I went through a bit of a rough patch about 7 years ago, mom passed in November, and then my uncle in January. They were the last two of their generation in our family.
I started freaking out because this meant that me and my brothers are the "old people" in the family now, and it's our turn to start dying off.
For about 6 month I was walking on eggshells thinking that any day now I'm just going to fall over dead of a heart attack or something. I eventually got past it, but it's still kind of in the back of my mind.
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I have had a physical every year for the last 10, funny how last Aug ,I wake up one day and figure out I had 2 arteries 98 % blocked and the third really bad too! I say best to find a real doctor that actually has an interest in your health and does not just tend to think "this dude is 60 and WTF anyway"!!!!!!!!!!! I am no smoker, been active all my like, ret right, and cholesterol not perfect but not that bad either. Was taking low dose of statins too>
 
I never saw a doctor, very good shape .Had a cardiac arrest last summer. 2 main arteries 90 % blocked .I was, as the doctor put it, a typical middled aged male since I dismissed warning signs. Tightness in your chest and/or shortness of breath when there shouldn't be are major warning signs. If you have one or both get checked .
 
I am ready anytime, and have told God so. Not that there are any problems. Never the less it is His decision, not mine. In the mean time I intend to finish what I have started, and enjoy my favorite things to do with friends and family.
 
xtraoldestock said:
I never saw a doctor, very good shape .Had a cardiac arrest last summer. 2 main arteries 90 % blocked .I was, as the doctor put it, a typical middled aged male since I dismissed warning signs. Tightness in your chest and/or shortness of breath when there shouldn't be are major warning signs. If you have one or both get checked .
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I had complained to a doc about shortness of air.. he blew it off year before. Tired all the tie. .... fast forward to last summer. That weekend I had some tightness in the chest, I had been dragging being outside in Aug SE Tx heat and humidity, but couple times I came into the AC and cooled off and started to sweat for 5 minutes. I knew something wrong. I did not have a heart attack, but right at edge. I went to doc next day, he did an EKG and promptly wanted to call ambulance for the 35 mi ride. We drove, and the the hospital called the doc and blessed him out for not putting me on a chopper! LOL
I get the impression as we get into our senior years, the med only wants to be involved when they know there is a good bill to be had!!!!! They do enjoy the rotine trip to the doc for maintenance and get that $$ for doing nothing too!??
 
Well at 75, I'm the ole goat in our family. Death seems like it is right along side me now, as I keep on going on. I wonder what will become of the future, for my two boys, and wife. All i can do is keep on going on, so thats what I do. Like that line from the song buy Guy Clark "Desparodos waiting for a train" Comon Jack that son of a ***** is commin, and I was young, and he was almost gone.
Dave
 
We all reach an age or crisis point in life where death is a focal point.
Having lost a father, mother, wife, father in law, sister in law and two beloved dogs in the last few yrs. Half died in front of me.
I have had way to much experience with the grim reaper but will not let these experiences keep me in darkness.

I go back to this quote everday to keep going.

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times.
as long as you remember to turn on the light”
 
I have stared death in the face many times. Every instance happened so fast, you have no time to process. Afterwards your mind runs through the scenario a 1,000 times a 1,000 different ways. If inches or angles had just been a little different, you’d be dead, instead of the other guy. Finally my day came, it was my turn.
At 10k ft, on a bleak snow spotted mountain top on the Afghan/Paki border, I died.
A single 7.62x53r round fired from a PKM struck me in the back under my left shoulder blade. As it passed fully through, 2 ribs were shattered, my heart was lightly damaged, and two large holes were punched in my left lung, diaphram, stomach, and spleen. My left peck was split, and my left phrenic nerve destroyed.
We returned fire, and I called on the radio we had been hit. Although my SAW gunner was struck in the foot, fully shattering his heel bone, he was returning fire and giving direction to my 203 gunner. I directed my team down into a rocky defilade and stripped off my kit and top. I have extensive medical training myself, so knew what was coming. I wasn’t panicked or afraid, I was pissed off. Once the wound was exposed, I realized that I was hurt bad, because as I used two fingers to stuff my dangling peck back into my chest, I felt no pain.
The medic was on top of me in no time, and the 3rd needle decompression resulted in pure blood, not good. Next step, chest tube with no drugs.
Quite the experience.
The pain of even the tiniest breath become unbearable in the moments leading up to the dust offs arrival. First I just took a quick break from the effort and the pain. Then a little longer, and a little longer, then I fully let go. I remember the sensation very clearly, not like it was in my head, but like it was physical. I was struggling to climb into the side of a boat. The sides were too high and I just couldn’t kick hard enough, I just wasn’t strong enough, so I just relaxed, stopped fighting, and let go of the side.
It felt like I was slowly sinking in warm water. My hearing faded away, and everything turned white like milk had been poured in the water.
I was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling I can only describe as nostalgia. Like when you go back home after a long time away.
I felt no pain, no fear, only the feeling of nostalgia, with a strong feeling of contentment, of satisfaction.
Then suddenly it was gone, suddenly I was not dead anymore. The sensation I woke too is what I imagine it’s like to be crushed by a pallet of 2x6’s.
Rocks and dirt was flying everywhere as I was lifted into a 60 that was hovering just several feet off the rock ledge.
As the door to the 60 closed, I remember having the odd thought of this being my first 60 ride ever with the doors closed. Just like the moment I knew I was hurt bad, I had a moment where I knew I was going to be okay. As they unloaded me at the CaSH, I remember realizing I was naked, it was fekkn cold, and it seemed everyone unloading me was cute nurses. I remember mumbling “it’s cold and I lost a bunch of blood” if you get what I mean, then I passed out as the bright lights inside hit me.

Long story short, eventually everyone gets their chance to die. It doesn’t hurt, so no need to worry about that. Just worry about living the best you can each day, strive to keep moving forward, and everything will work itself out
 
I wake up every morning, and am grateful for the day ahead. I am 55, and in good health, something to be said for clean living. Been sober 24years now, never smoked or did drugs. I figure i have 20 good years left as long as the body holds up? My Dad died at 77, he drank himself to death, plus over weight and diabetes.

I am not afraid of death, i figure God got me sober for a reason, and he wants me around for something? Some days, the way this world is going, i figure death would be a welcome alternative. The way man treats man these days, i am hoping for the second coming of Christ or my ticket gets punched, then i can see what's on the other side.
 
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I don't think about death, but every now and then I get that " I am not going to be here forever" thought. There are things that I still want to do in this life, and I know getting older and running out of time is part of that plan. As far as death itself, I don't see it as a bad thing. Alot of good people I have known have gone on before me. I see it as a part of life really.
 
I feel we all think about passing at one time or another, some of us more than others. The thing I used to worry about is also the ones that go on living... what will they do, will they suffer for my passing? And ultimately, my answer is no, not in the long run. They will grieve, but they will go on living without me, and they will survive without me, and eventually they will go through the same questioning of life and death as humans have been doing for as long as there have been humans. I have a daughter, she is married. I want to be there for her forever, but I won't be. However, I know that she will be okay, because she knows how much I love her. And I don't really believe that I will be gone forever from her in the long run. I plan on hovering/watching over her life when I get to the next phase of whatever is after this life of mine.

When my mother passed in January, my daughter and I discussed funerals and such. She plans on having me cremated. As she put it, she "doesn't want to stick me in the ground somewhere and then move away and leave me behind if she ends up across the country." She said she will "carry me from house to house to where ever she lives." I thought that was a nice sentiment on her part and it made me smile as it let me know that when my time comes she will be okay with it.

I guess what gets me through is just thinking that millions of humans have passed away before me and millions will after me, and the only thing that matters is that those who are important to me knew I loved them.
 
73 dart custom said:
I feel we all think about passing at one time or another, some of us more than others. The thing I used to worry about is also the ones that go on living... what will they do, will they suffer for my passing? And ultimately, my answer is no, not in the long run. They will grieve, but they will go on living without me, and they will survive without me, and eventually they will go through the same questioning of life and death as humans have been doing for as long as there have been humans. I have a daughter, she is married. I want to be there for her forever, but I won't be. However, I know that she will be okay, because she knows how much I love her. And I don't really believe that I will be gone forever from her in the long run. I plan on hovering/watching over her life when I get to the next phase of whatever is after this life of mine.

When my mother passed in January, my daughter and I discussed funerals and such. She plans on having me cremated. As she put it, she "doesn't want to stick me in the ground somewhere and then move away and leave me behind if she ends up across the country." She said she will "carry me from house to house to where ever she lives." I thought that was a nice sentiment on her part and it made me smile as it let me know that when my time comes she will be okay with it.

I guess what gets me through is just thinking that millions of humans have passed away before me and millions will after me, and the only thing that matters is that those who are important to me knew I loved them.
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I'm thinking your daughter might like this, it's what I did for my father in laws ashes
We have since bought a bigger house, and moved her mom in with us, so I see it daily myself too

gaurd house clock urn
 
The only reason i am scared of death is for my wife ..... been together 30+ years and i won't be there for her......like somebody said earlier....if you wake up, it is a good day....my new motto... one day at a time...
 
My Dad died at 38,his Dad at 52. I didn't think I would make it to 69 like I have. I did have 3 Heart Attacks but God wasn't ready for me. I sometimes think of death but don't dwell on it. I'm not afraid but have concern for those I would leave behind. Linda was widowed once at 33 and I just feel bad that she would have to go through that again.
 
Instead of thinking about death, think about how many times you have cheated death.
I should have been dead long ago, but I'm still here.
 
my grandfather and my father and I look nearly identical at age. Grandfather died at 78 (heavy smoker and drinker to the end, and type A personality). Dad died at 78 (gave up drinking and smoking by the time he was 40 and went ultra healthy, also type A personality).. I figure 78 is probably the number. I drink, smoke, cuss and have unprotected sex with tattooed Haitian prostitutes, So I might be in a high risk category! But I'm not remotely a type A personality. I'm just too laid back.. If the type A is the trigger, I'm good for while, otherwise 23 more years and 78 rolls in!
 
JoeSBP said:
Quite the experience.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling I can only describe as nostalgia. Like when you go back home after a long time away.
I felt no pain, no fear, only the feeling of nostalgia, with a strong feeling of contentment, of satisfaction.
Then suddenly it was gone, suddenly I was not dead anymore. The sensation I woke too is what I imagine it’s like to be crushed by a pallet of 2x6’s.
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Had a similar experience with a near fatal motorcycle accident. As my body lay unconscious in the street I was very much aware of what was going on. I experienced a level of peace and calmness I had never experienced before. Utopic. I was talking and refused to go as I turned to see myself on the ground. Instantly, I woke to a world of pain and hurt, medics, and a copter. Fractured skull, broken nose, broken teeth, face tore up, broken arm, wrists, dislocated fingers, torn ligaments etc. Aside from the initial pain becoming conscious the pain never passed a level of tolerable through recovery. The doctors were amazed I wasn't asking for pain meds.

I don't believe I'll fully ever understand as I'm not the Bible thumping believer type and I don't usually talk about it much. I was shown mercy to live another day for some reason. Death, I no longer fear and I look at quite a few things including the Bible differently since.
 
44070dart said:
Lately I've been thinking about death. Don't know why, I'm 68, reasonably health so my doctor says. I just think about how life goes on as others around us stop living. Guess I'm religious, go to church, believe, pray, it's not that part that concerns me.
It's leaving behind a wife, a happily married daughter that I love, only grandchild, 2 1/2 year old that I adore, she is incredible. Family, friends that I grew up with, and still like me. Some I went to grammar school with. My parents have gone, along with all my aunts and uncles, and some cousins have also passed. We were always a close family so their passing was always difficult.
I found out recently that an old friend passed away. We were very close from high school thru our 30's. We were like brothers, I'm godfather to his only son, and for us that's very special. He then moved to the west coast and over time we lost contact. I loved this guy like a brother. I think about his passing and we never had a chance to say goodbye. I don't dwell on death always, but as I fall asleep I think about how it will be. I'd like to stop and hope this is a passing thing. Any of you dealing with something like this.
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I am 67, and I admit that sometimes I wonder about death. I think, for me, I mainly think about the unknown factors such as where, when, and how. I could get hit by a drunk driver tomorrow, or die peacefully in my sleep at 100. I hear you say you "guess" you are religious and that you go to church. I wonder about the word "guess". I always tell people that the best way to not be afraid (I realize you did not say afraid) of dying is to get right with the Lord. In the New Testament, Jesus said that the only way to the Father was through him. So to be assured a spot in Heaven, don't "guess", be sure. That will bring you a lot of peace. The other thing I will suggest that will bring peace is to tie up all loose ends. Get a proper will, and make sure the wife and daughter have a complete list of all bank account numbers, Life Insurance policy numbers, investment account numbers, etc. It also isn't a bad idea to put your daughter's name on everything (assuming trust is not an issue). That will surely simplify things after you are gone. I also worry about what my wife would do if I died suddenly. I try to make sure she can do everything that I think is important by herself. Try not to dwell on it. Get right with the Lord and get your affairs in order. That will be a relief.
 
I remember as a kid going to visit my great grandmother...my grandfather said, 'this might be last time you see her, so make it count' or something to that effect, and it's always stuck with me. I did actually see her a few times after that, but point: made.

Get your affairs in order, make sure your worthless 'stuff' is taken care of, and then cherish the moments you have with the living, for you never know who will go first, you or them.

When you think of death, remember that there's nothing you can do about that, but plenty you can do until then. When I think about death, I try to call someone I haven't talked to in a while. Anyone. Just call, say hi, and relish their life.
 
I don't have any family, wife, or kids.
I'm the end of the line.
Today, i had a trusted friend, for the past 40+ years over my place showing him where i keep my important papers, hide my household living on money, things that go "bang" car title, registration, anything else that you can think of.
When i conk out there will be people that know where to find things around here.
My rent is paid up for two extra months, so if i conk out at home, or anywhere else for that matter, there will be two months for them to clear out the duplex that reside in.
Not worried about my mortality, but i feel lots better getting affairs squared away, while still living on top of this planet Earth.
 
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