got a dilemma with a friend

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moparmat2000

moparmat2000

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hi Y'all

got a dilemma with a friend. i have been finishing up my sun porch build on my home, and was deciding on putting on the spray texture "popcorn acoustic" on the ceiling. i have already painted the walls and the trim. my friend can do this for me as he has the equipment to do it. says he would charge me $50 to spray texture the ceiling.

i tried for weeks to nail him down on when he could do this for me. my 6 months for my building permit is almost expired and i dont want to pay $50 more to extend the permit another 6 months since i am almost finished with the room, and am sooo close to getting the city to inspect it. monday in fact

i finally get ahold of him on last wednesday. he says he will call before he comes over on friday to look at the mud n tape job on the ceiling to see if its smooth enough to texture. he doesnt call or show up on friday. meanwhile i try to text him, no response. i put dinner out plans on hold with my family on friday night because he was supposed to show up.

he finally comes over saturday to have a look, says it looks fine, and for me to put some primer on it to cover the drywall so it will stay stuck. says he will come and spray the texture on tuesday. anyway i putty it a little more, sand it a little more, and apply 3 coats of flat white to the ceiling. it looks great, and being that the ceiling slopes towards the windows the ceiling isnt that high its only 7 foot high at that end.

i text him, and tell him i painted it, and it looks great, plus ceiling is too low, i told him i decided to not put the spray texture on. he texts me back with a "You Wasted My Time!" text. i dont think i wasted his time, i talked to a mutual friend who said he moved some of his schedule around to do this, said he was going to just come over and do it for free even though i have no problem paying him for the work. said he rounded up his spraying equipment. says he said he just has had enough.

i dont ask him for favors often, i have known him for 12+ years, and feel i have been a good friend. i dont know if i was in the wrong or not. I'm kinda confused. i think i gave him enough time, plus its my home to decide if theres something i dont want to do with it. everything was last minute. and i feel if he had given me the advice about primering the ceiling a few weeks ago when i first wanted him to look at it, i would have realized painting it and leaving it alone would have been the best thing back then.

anybody whos a head shrinker on this one, how about some friendly fabo advice guys n gals

matt
 
Ok well have knew my friend chuck for few years more then that . I can tell you what we would do bout it ............ Just say the hell with it and sit and shoot the **** and hang out . A true friend will not let some thing so stupied get in the way of the friend ship . both sides have to think this way . Maybe me and my ''brother '' are more ez going the most but thats the way i see it .
 
I think you did nothing wrong if anyone had wasted any ones time it was him, granted he reorganized his schedule to do your stuff, but if he had not dicked around in the first place or contacted you he wouldn't have had to do that or you could have found someone else. You have the right to change your mind it's your home [he's just pissed] he'll get over it, next time I would just do it myself of hire a non friend contractor. Remember the best 2 helping hands you have are at the end of your arms!!!
 
Ps there has been a time when me and him have had a fight . Like one time he kicked me if the face . I was wrong and got what was coming to me lol So i didnt hit him back . I have found that some times its better to say im sorry or my bad ., some thing like that even if you feel you was right . for a good friend ship . What i call a good friend ........ Can you call that friend a midnight or 3 am and say hay i need a ride my car broke ? Can you call that frined agin in the middle of the night if your depressed or sad bout some thing ? ? would that frind bail you out ? If your getting your *** whooped in a fight will that friend jump in and help you knowing hes going to get his whooped along with you ? will that friend send the pistons though the hood of his car/truck to get you to the hospitle ? If you said yes to 95 % of this thats a friend . Thats my best friend chucky. He would do that for me . I would do the same for him and have done so for now on 15 years .
 
First, what kind of texture? You are probably better off without it, especially since you are satisfied now. I think most spray ons will then need to be spray painted. Trowl on textures can usually be painted with a roller. As for your friend.. Did he buy any materials? I certainly don't see an issue here that should last more than 2 beers.
 
I dont think you did anything wrong I'd give him the 50 bucks that he wanted everyones happy he got his money and you saved your friendship all for 50 bucks
 
zkx14 said:
First, what kind of texture? You are probably better off without it, especially since you are satisfied now. I think most spray ons will then need to be spray painted. Trowl on textures can usually be painted with a roller. As for your friend.. Did he buy any materials? I certainly don't see an issue here that should last more than 2 beers.
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Spray on "popcorn" acoustic texture. I have it in the rest of my home. Thick nap roller and go wet n slow, it can be repainted this way. He was using leftover materials from another job , at least this is what he told me he was going to use awhile ago when we first talked about it. I was originally going to havd him mud n tape the whole room, but told him since i do auto body on the side id like to try to do it myself.

We do help each other out a lot. Lately i had called in a few tool borrow favors doing this room, plus he helped me hang the exterior door. Borrowed his sawsall, his nailgun. I gave him a bunch of cartridges of nails for the favor, plus gave him the saw blades i bought for the sawsall after i used it.

I think my drywall and plaster work.turned out great. Im glad i attempted this. Never would have known i could do it had i not tried. I this regard i am happy.
 
Some "friends" you can't depend on. They sure don't have a problem depending on you though.

Lay him off as a friend, life is too short for that. Guy sounds like a liability. It's not you, its me. :cheers:
 
Buy him a case of beer or a bottle of booze and tell him to chill. If he is a good friend he will get over it. Life too short to loose a good friend over it.
 
Your friends a idiot not your friend. I have a good buddy who has helped me a lot over the yrs and qouldnt ask a dime. I have helped him for free so many times its just what friends do. Hes not that good of a friend and I wouldnt lose sleep over it. What a idiot
 
Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of friends, hmm.
I don't hang around people who's word means nothing.

I'd lay him off as a friend too.
 
TrailBeast said:
Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of friends, hmm.
I don't hang around people who's word means nothing.

I'd lay him off as a friend too.
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same here...all you have to go on is a person's word and if that is no good then you have nothing..too bad when you find out a person's word is no good...very disappointing..
 
You did nothing wrong. Here is something you might want to consider if you do any popcorn (Acoustic Texture) is to mix paint in it when you shoot it. It makes it a breeze to paint later and it is a lot tougher if it gets bumped. I have shot a lot of ceilings this way.
 
communication is best medicine ...obviously you two had different ideas and realities as to what was supposed to happen ....so a long friendly talk might be in order to sort out why each party had the ideas they did and how to solve this from happening in the future.

never go into a problem without a solution
 
Matt,

You didn't do anything wrong for your friend to do that to you. You were the one who waited days after he said he was going to be there, you even canceled plans... with your family... for your house to get done.

In my opinion, I think you are the one who needs to be mad, not him. He said he was coming over on a certain day, and didn't. He didn't call you or text you to let you know he wasn't going to be able to make it. For him to tell that you are the one who wasted his time was wrong of him.

You waited patiently and were respectful in everything you said, where does he have a reason to be mad? He doesn't.

You weren't in the wrong on this at all, Matt. He was disrespectful for a ridiculous reason, all you did was decide against doing the textured ceiling and he went off.

And yes, you're right, it is your house to change and modify decisions... But at least you let him know you decided against doing the textured ceiling in a timely manner. You didn't wait for the next time he showed up for you to tell him never mind, (which sounds like something your friend would do) and you were respectful, too.

If you think or know you know you were a good friend, than that's all you need! He must have been your friend in return if he said he would do it...

But as for why he did that to you, no one knows but him. And if he is that easily angered, I wouldn't try to ask what happened or why he acted like that. He might apologize, he might want to talk it out, who knows? But I think I would let him come around on his own, I wouldn't try to talk to him first... If he thinks the friendship is worth saving (and by the sounds of it, it is worth it), he'll talk to you when he's ready.

If you knew and he knew you were a good friend, than he might come around. If he realizes he lost a good friend over a decision, he might call or text you back and try and make things okay again.

Good luck and I hope things work out between you and your friend. Keep your head up, Matt!

Hope this helps! :D

-- Karli
 
moparman3406bbl said:
I dont think you did anything wrong I'd give him the 50 bucks that he wanted
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I agree.


everyones happy he got his money and you saved your friendship all for 50 bucks
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I disagree. That's not a "friendship" that's a "acquaintance".

Granted, Matt looked at the relationship as a "friendship", but it's painfully obvious that it was not reciprocal. Now, he Knows, what the relationship is, though.

You treat the guy as you always have, but, you new know that, at least for him, your relationship is not what you've always thought it was.

Lesson learned.
 
i think i am going to leave him alone. i kinda figured i did nothing wrong, i contacted him on sunday to tell him i didnt want to do the texturing since he was going to do it on tuesday. this way i didnt screw up his week. i have found most people are pretty cool if you change plans on things.

i do rely on myself for most things and am pretty handy in the home fixit areas. i built the whole thing pretty much myself, even wired it up, with a little help from an electrical contractor to make sure it was correct.

well a lesson learned by me i guess. heres the funny thing i have an aquantance i work with that goes to the local VFW hall and sees my friend there, then this guy bags on my friend to me at work. i told my coworker i didnt want to hear it because its my friend he is bagging on. even told my friend about it. i dont like it when people talk about other people behind their backs. if ya cant say it to their face better to not say it.

probably best to just hang with my family, or tinker in my shop and not bother with anybody. people just get too weird over petty things.
 
Nobody "needs to be mad" at anybody here. Just talk to him. He probably had a bad day, dealing with stress, whatever. Talk to him and let him have a chance to straitened things out. Likely he realizes he was in the wrong, but some people have a hard time admitting it. I think he will come around. If not, I would be surprised, but then like what has been said, he's not a friend, just an acquaintance.
 
Does not sound like much of a "friend" to me.......but what the hell do I know, I have no friends.....
 
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