grampyjay
Well-Known Member
At great risk of starting a long thread, here goes:
How do you make a frog croak?
Shoot it with a ribbit gun.
How do you make a frog croak?
Shoot it with a ribbit gun.
Groaners
- Thread starter grampyjay
- Start date
-
What's the difference between a peeping Tom and a jewel thief?
The jewel thief snatches watches.
The jewel thief snatches watches.
I don't get it.
mopar head
Well-Known Member
read it backwards lol
67dartgtgo
Well-Known Member
Jada...the frog snatches jewels for Tom, using a ribbit gun while being timed with a watch.....
Jada...the frog snatches jewels for Tom, using a ribbit gun while being timed with a watch.....
Oh now i get it. LOL
joel d. snyder
Well-Known Member
how do you catch a unique rabbit? unique up on it. how do you catch a tame rabbit? tame way.
What's the difference between a hooker with diarrhea and an epileptic corn husker?
The latter shucks between fits...
The latter shucks between fits...
JDMopar
Well-Known Member
What do you call a rabbit that's an anesthesiologist!
The ether bunny!
The ether bunny!
Love that one LOL
The peeping Tom watches snatches
What do you call an Eskimo peeping Tom?
Tom Tookalook
Tom Tookalook
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks if this stool is taken.
Ho w do you get an Elephant off your back.
You jerk him off.
You jerk him off.
A man goes into an adult entertainment shop and asks the assistant for an inflatable doll.
"Would you like male of female?"
"Female, please."
"Would you like Black, or White?"
"White, please."
"Would you like Christian or Muslim?"
This question confused the man . . . and he replied,
"What has the religion got to do with it? It's an inflatable doll!"
"Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blows itself up!
"Would you like male of female?"
"Female, please."
"Would you like Black, or White?"
"White, please."
"Would you like Christian or Muslim?"
This question confused the man . . . and he replied,
"What has the religion got to do with it? It's an inflatable doll!"
"Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blows itself up!
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Don't pay her.
My girlfriend just recently got a tattoo of a dolphin on her inner thigh. It’s amazing what tattooists can do these day, when you put your face near it you can actually smell the ocean
magnumdart
There is a bad moon on the rise.
What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies, and a girls track team?
One's a bunch of cunning runts.
One's a bunch of cunning runts.
magnumdart
There is a bad moon on the rise.
What does a Bryn Mawr college girl have in common with a National Hockey League Team?
They both shower after three periods.
They both shower after three periods.
Last edited:
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
Only 1500 women went down on the Titanic.
Only 1500 women went down on the Titanic.
Monica Lewinsky opened up a chain of Dry Cleaning stores. Her moto is "Drop your pants and jacket off".
Dartnut
Don't hate me because i'm beautiful
A man goes to a psychiatrist and tells him:
''I think i'm in love with my neighbor's horse, a beautiful dark haired animal.''
The psychiatrist asks:
''Is it a male or female?''
The man responds angrily:
''It's a female of course! What do you think i am? A queer?''
''I think i'm in love with my neighbor's horse, a beautiful dark haired animal.''
The psychiatrist asks:
''Is it a male or female?''
The man responds angrily:
''It's a female of course! What do you think i am? A queer?''
Guy walks into a psychiatrist office ,naked wrapped in siran wrap.
Doc looks at him and says. No need to say anything or get any closer.
It's clears to see your nuts.
Doc looks at him and says. No need to say anything or get any closer.
It's clears to see your nuts.
67dartgtgo
Well-Known Member
Ohhhhh man......
A government survey has shown that 91% of immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor.
---------------------------------------
Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.
----------------------------------------
A dwarf goes to a very good - but very busy doctor - and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
------------------------------------------
63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.
It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed.
The police are blaming AL IKEA.
----------------------------------------
Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
----------------------------------------
Police stops a Pakistani in his transit van on the motorway. Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?"
The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that........3 of you have got to get out!"
----------------------------------------
Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them..
"Bollocks to that" said Paddy "That's the last time I go lion dancing"
-----------------------------------
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then"
---------------------------------------------
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white, they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt .
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.......
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots.....
Your one year manufacturer's warranty runs out soon.
----------------------------------------------------
Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital...... One's in a korma...... The other's got a dodgy tikka!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the first few days of the Olympics, eastern europeans took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sailing results are in: USA took gold, GB took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan .
He is making Land Mines that look like prayer mats! It's doing well!
Prophets are going through the roof!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.'
He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.
----------------------------------------
A dwarf goes to a very good - but very busy doctor - and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
------------------------------------------
63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.
It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed.
The police are blaming AL IKEA.
----------------------------------------
Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
----------------------------------------
Police stops a Pakistani in his transit van on the motorway. Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?"
The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that........3 of you have got to get out!"
----------------------------------------
Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them..
"Bollocks to that" said Paddy "That's the last time I go lion dancing"
-----------------------------------
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then"
---------------------------------------------
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white, they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt .
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.......
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots.....
Your one year manufacturer's warranty runs out soon.
----------------------------------------------------
Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital...... One's in a korma...... The other's got a dodgy tikka!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the first few days of the Olympics, eastern europeans took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sailing results are in: USA took gold, GB took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan .
He is making Land Mines that look like prayer mats! It's doing well!
Prophets are going through the roof!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.'
He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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