mouse balls

[plum crazy dart]

MOUSE BALLS

I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face.

This was a real memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness.
It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem.
The author of this memo was quite genuine.
The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences.

'If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.
Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.

Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.
Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.
However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.
Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge
of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.'

​

 

[YY1]

I actually worked for IBM from 1994 to 1995.

The memo printed here is based on an actual memo, but has been altered slightly.

The last sentance is pure BS, however FRU is most certianly an IBM term, and the original memo did have the general gist of what is posted above.

I could tell stories of actual policy and procedures that are a lot more humorous without any embellishment.

Here's my favorite-

I could call in an emergency "code red" parts request, and drive to the airport, where a helicopter would meet me with a part in 45 minutes.

If I wanted a repair manual for the same machine.....I had to request a form, which would be mailed to me, then fill it out by hand, and mail it to New York, and then corporate would mail me the manual !!?!!

 

[ILLDuster74]

I actually used to have to check mouse balls as a teacher after leaving computer lab. It was SOP to have the kids sit next to their computers, turn over the mouse and then lined up. Thank god when we finally budgeted for the laser ones.