My Luck

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The scariest things on Earth:
The dark, Clowns, Sharks, Serial killers
But NOTHING compares to…
Highway Patrol doing a U-turn.
From 2nd experience, I was part of a driving team and had just woke up. My partner blew the Stetson off a state patrolman’s head. After a half hour of my partner trying to explain why he did that and apologizing then the tickets started flying. Cost my partner big time. Lesson learned
 
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The wise old Mother Superior from County Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.



Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.



"Mother", the nuns pleaded, "Please give us some wisdom before you die."



She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said: "Don't sell that cow".
 
Marriage is just spending the whole day trying to work out why your wife is upset with you, only to find out you messed up in her dream the night before and you still haven’t apologized yet

 

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