New Guy's Attempt at Humor

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MMRJR

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OK - So, I'm a new guy, and I don't know if this has been posted before or not, but this is one of my all time favorite jokes, and I'll share it here....

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon....

renderTimingPixel.png

that she wanted her labia reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him:

'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'

'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.'

'And what about the third rose ?' she asked.

'That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!
 
I bet no one will be whispering anything in the mans ears now, smell of the catfish never leaves :rofl:
 
I bet no one will be whispering anything in the mans ears now, smell of the catfish never leaves :rofl:
No, no...........every time she has an orgasm his ears will tingle!!!
Or, every time she has sex he'll get a nasty taste in his mouth!!!
 
So does that mean that the back of the head of the guy upstairs will smell like an *** hole???
 
1st comment - The man upstairs is especially grateful because every time he sticks a finger in his ear he has an orgasm.

2nd comment - But, It's a female orgasm though so it's probably all just in his head.
 
Until the burn victim got his ears, he thought "taint" was the little area between the gina and butthole....

Now it's his ears, cuz they taint her lips no more......
 
So ... what do you do for a day job?
I make sarcastic replies to on-line jokes........and I get paid very well to do it!!! I love my job!!:rofl:

PS - I also spend a few minutes a day watching my Roth IRAs grow.
 
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1st comment - The man upstairs is especially grateful because every time he sticks a finger in his ear he has an orgasm.

2nd comment - But, It's a female orgasm though so it's probably all just in his head.
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Would that be an Eargasm?

 
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Thank you most sincerely for your service at ALL of your day jobs :D ... you and your comrades are the reason we aren't typing in German or Japanese. You also get the biggest discount I offer as a small Thank You for your sacrifices. :usflag:

As for the rest ... Boys will be boys ....... LOL!!!!!!
 
OK - So, I'm a new guy, and I don't know if this has been posted before or not, but this is one of my all time favorite jokes, and I'll share it here....

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon....

renderTimingPixel.png

that she wanted her labia reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him:

'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'

'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.'

'And what about the third rose ?' she asked.

'That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!
An oldie but a goldie.
 
2 blondes walking down the street, one says "Oh I see you have a tattoo high on your inner thigh". The other one says " yes it's a conk shell and my husband loves it". He says when he puts his ear next to it he can smell the ocean.
 
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