Pipeline

[magnumdart]

Virginia Pepalini

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Pete says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want".
The first nun says "I want to be Bo Derek," and POOF she's gone.
The second says "I want to be Madonna," and POOF she's gone.
The third says "I want to be Virginia Pepalini.".
St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Virginia Pepalini" replies the nun.
St Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell.
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her robes and hands it to St Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.

He hands it back to her and says "No Sister, this says the Virginia PIPELINE was laid by 500 men in 7 days!".

 

[67Dart273]

This one is one of my favorites, no idea how old.........

Three men die in a plane crash and go to Heaven....


When they get inside they notice that Heaven is absolutely full of ducks. So many ducks they can barely walk around.

An angel approaches and says “Welcome to Heaven, your home for all eternity! Here you can have anything you want, whenever you want, as long as you never step on a duck.”

Years go by and eventually one of the men slips up and steps on a duck! The angel approaches accompanied by the most hideous woman the man has ever seen! The angel handcuffs the woman to him and says “This is your eternal punishment for stepping on a duck!”

More time passes and as fate would have it another of the men slips up and steps on a duck! Again the angel handcuffs the most hideous woman he’s ever seen to him and again says “This is your eternal punishment for stepping on a duck!”

Years and years go by and the third man having watched his step ever so carefully had never stepped on a duck. Eventually the angel approaches him with the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid his eyes on and handcuffs them together. The man exclaims “Wow! She’s beautiful!!! What have I done to deserve such a reward?!?” and the woman replies “I’m not sure, but I stepped on a duck....”