Ugliest guy

[krazykuda]

A guy sits down at a bar. The bartender looks at him and starts laughing. "I'm sorry, but you have to be the ugliest man that I have ever seen."

The guy says, "I'll have you know I can get any lady I want."

The bartender looks around and sees a hot, shapely blonde sitting at a table with her huge boyfriend. He tells the man that he will bet him fifty dollars that he can't get the woman even to talk to him. The ugly man agrees and says, "I'll bet you double or nothing that I can walk straight out the door with her."

The bartender accepts. The ugly dude walks over, the girl jumps into his arms, and they walk toward the door, making sure to collect the hundred bucks on the way out.

The bartender walks over to the jilted boyfriend and says, "Damn that sucks! What happened?"

The boyfriend replies, "I don't know. He just stood there licking his eyebrows..."

 

[SuperStock]

hehehehehehehh, thats hilarious!

Ugliest doesnt matter, long tongue does the job, lol

 

[67Dart273]

Three guys were killed in a horrific crash, and found themselves at the pearly gates. The "guy in charge" told them they could all get in, but warned them, "For some reason, "we've been getting a lot of ducks up here. Whenever someone disturbs one, they all fly up, flapping and quacking, and make a hell of a noise. So don't step on any ducks."

So the three went in, and were being careful, but pretty soon, one of them stepped on a duck. Later, the boss came by with the UGliest woman these men had ever seen, chained her to the offender, and said, "OK, she's all yours, for the rest of eternity."

So NOW the other two were being VERY careful. A month or two went by, and one of the two stepped on a duck. A tremendous noise ensued. Once again, St Peter came by with the UG-LI-EST woman these men had ever seen, and once again, off the the two went.

So now the third guy is being EXTREMELY careful, and a long time passes, and he hasn't stepped on any ducks. One day The Big Man came by with the most incredibly beautiful woman the man had ever seen, and said, "this is your reward, she's yours for all eternity."

So off they went. One day, the man was wondering to his partner, "What did I deserve to get such a gorgeous woman as you?"

"I don't know," said she, "all I did was step on a duck."