Useful Dictionary

[Rob]

> DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
>
>40-ish..................................49.
>
>Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
>
>Athletic................................No breasts.
>
>Average looking.....................Moooo.
>
>Beautiful...............................Pathological liar.
>
>Emotionally Secure..................On medication.
>
>Feminist...............................Fat.
>
>Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
>
>Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
>
>New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
>
>Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
>
>Open-minded.........................Desperate.
>
>Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
>
>Professional...........................*****.
>
>Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
>
>Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
>
>Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.
>
>DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>
>Yes.....................................No
>
>No.......................................Yes
>
>Maybe..................................No
>
>We need...............................I want
>
>I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry
>
>We need to talk......................You're in trouble
>
>Sure, go ahead........................You better not
>
>Do what you want...................You will pay for this later
>
>I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
>
>You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?
>
>DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
>
>I am hungry...........................I am hungry
>
>I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
>
>I am tired..............................I am tired
>
>Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
>
>I love you..............................Let's have sex now
>
>I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
>
>May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
>
>Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
>
>Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.
>
>Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.
>
>I don't think your shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.
>

 

[GTGrinly]

That was good for an afternoon laugh...thanks!

 

[memike]

Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s :sad:

Good one rob I hope my wife reads this one :thumbup:

 

[Keith Mopar]

Dam I think there is a lot of truth to that, and thanks for the laugh Rob

 

[demon seed]

Real good Rob, I'll show the wife then run like hell. :evil2:

 

[MtNemoMopar]

I tried that Demon seed. She caught me....eeow.

 

[onehellofadart]

The truth can be very funny!!

 

[dartcuda]

those are good ones. And I think mostly true.

 

[MR. BIG BLOCK]

Sure go ahead...........you better not! This pretty much explains how my whole marriage goes. When I pointed this out to the wife, she just got pouty. Truth hurts.

 

[OldVart]

What we hear, and what they actually say, are at least a couple of worlds apart. That's why I've developed "Husband Ear" - VERY selective hearing!

 

[Longgone]

Yup! -Those are good!!!

 

[Cerwin]

i will agree.. those are all true and funny! :headbang: