Why it sucks to get old

-
Ddaddy

Ddaddy

I'm changing the World... one pixel at a time!
Joined
Nov 7, 2015
Messages
23,206
Reaction score
31,831
Location
SW of Philly PA
8D5BC4DB-7401-4588-908D-65B36EA3CF9F.jpeg


My father went down hard with Alzheimer’s/dementia 6 years ago, but we still care for him and he still finds things in life to enjoy...even if he barely understands them. He is 82 now and we don’t find caring for him to be a burden. It is a cherished responsibility for a man who gave us life. He was the CEO of a biotech company that was one of the top 25 IPOs of 1992 that included companies like AOL.

It was hard to watch him decline at first...but after awhile, you realize that it is just a part of the cycle of life and caring for him now is as much my responsibility as his caring for me as a child was.

I just hate to think about my being there in the future...but I hope my family will be as kind and thoughtful to me in their feeling of responsibility as we are to him.
 
Bless you for helping. Too many people ignore their parents and let them live in Nursing Homes that accept Medicade. I also fear the possibility of that happening to me, but my youngest daughter has promised to not force me into a nursing home and live with her.
 
harrisonm said:
Bless you for helping. Too many people ignore their parents and let them live in Nursing Homes that accept Medicade. I also fear the possibility of that happening to me, but my youngest daughter has promised to not force me into a nursing home and live with her.
Click to expand...

I pray I`ll never have to go to a nursing home ! Sounds boring to me! I really can`t see any of my kids having time to take care of me in that instance . GOD only know guys !
 
famous bob said:
I pray I`ll never have to go to a nursing home ! Sounds boring to me! I really can`t see any of my kids having time to take care of me in that instance . GOD only know guys !
Click to expand...

YOU KNOW UR GETTING OLD, WHEN U LOOK BETTER DRESSED THAN UNDRESSED TOO !! LOL
 
Ddaddy said:
View attachment 1715187648

My father went down hard with Alzheimer’s/dementia 6 years ago, but we still care for him and he still finds things in life to enjoy...even if he barely understands them. He is 82 now and we don’t find caring for him to be a burden. It is a cherished responsibility for a man who gave us life. He was the CEO of a biotech company that was one of the top 25 IPOs of 1992 that included companies like AOL.

It was hard to watch him decline at first...but after awhile, you realize that it is just a part of the cycle of life and caring for him now is as much my responsibility as his caring for me as a child was.

I just hate to think about my being there in the future...but I hope my family will be as kind and thoughtful to me in their feeling of responsibility as we are to him.
Click to expand...

Awesome post.

My Mom has Alzheimer's and has progressed to the point that we're praying she'll last the summer.

As part of the Alzheimer's she's striken with an affliction I can't remember the name of, but she just collapses. Eventually this will lead to her not being to swallow her food, as it progresses in stages.

Pop is her sole caretaker. All 76 years of him and now he's been diagnosed with a bad vertabrae in his lower back.

We kids help out as much as we can. My sister goes and helps with Momma while my nephew takes him shopping or to doctors appointments. My brother does all the manual labor in the house, cleaning, washing dishes, laundry, mowing the lawn. I do the higher skilled **** my brother doesn't do. Maintenance on the house when it comes up, car repairs, tilling the gardens.

It's a group effort as much as we can make it.

These are the folks who raised us. Primarly Momma as Pop was away from home a lot with his jobs.

As the single father of two rambunctious boys, I always said Momma could give badass lessons to Wonder Woman, raising for of us at once.
 
I understand where you're at man. My Dad passed last year at 87. Battled Alzheimers the latter years. Was rough see my idol go from a tough, bad *** man (was a lineman before they used bucket trucks and climb poles with spikes and a belt) to the frail man he became at the end. While his memory went the last few years, he would get moments of clarity and became his old self on occasion. He passed the way hey told me he wanted to go... In his own bed, in his own home with his wife and kids at his side. I miss the heck out of him, but can help but smile when I think about him.

Take care and enjoy every second man.

Be well,
Pat
 
harrisonm said:
Bless you for helping. Too many people ignore their parents and let them live in Nursing Homes that accept Medicade. I also fear the possibility of that happening to me, but my youngest daughter has promised to not force me into a nursing home and live with her.
Click to expand...

Bless her for saying that, and i'm sure she'll carry through to the best of her ability, but don't be surprised when she breaks that promise. At some point taking care of you may become more that she can handle for any number of reasons. For instance if you need round the clock care, and she is still working, or If you have to be helped just to get up, or out of a wheel chair and on to the potty. You may be in your 80's or 90's and your daughter might be in her 60's, she will not have the physical strength to pick you up or move you around. Or if you have Alzheimer's you could become confused, belligerent, or even violent, because you don't know whats going on around you, don't recognize your daughter, etc, etc.
For your sake I hope I'm wrong, but just sayin' sometimes a nursing home is the only option left.
 
My Father passed last month from bone cancer that came back fast and furious. He let me know it "was time" to come out and visit as soon as possible. I flew in that Thursday and as soon as I got there everything went downhill almost immediately. He was in agony and had to be moved constantly always searching for some relief. My Mother in Law and Sister were both exasperated and overwhelmed so I took the watch.

Four days later he passed while I was wiping his forehead with a cool rag. Those four days were the most emotionally and physically demanding in my life. They were also the most rewarding. He was my hero and best friend. The Master Chief that had all the answers and knew how to fix everything. It was the greatest honor to be there when he finally needed me instead of vice versa.

I think I had an easier situation than some of you because of the quick timeline and closure. I can only imagine watching a parent wither away over years or decades. You are true heroes for doing what you do.

We just moved in my mother in law with us and are renovating her house for her to sell. It is a big adjustment having another adult around full time (especially an old Filipina that nags about the kids) but it will work out. And when I get old and we need our kids they will hopefully step up. Not because of guilt or shame, but because they had an example to follow.
 
About 7 years ago we bought a huge house.. 5500 sq ft!.. with a plan in mind. The house was only about 15 years old but was a foreclosure and needed alot of work. And I mean ALOT. But it's in the woods with a few not so close neighbors and the views are incredible. And the work is still going today haha

Anyway, about 10 years ago, my mother moved 50 miles to be closer to us and her grand daughter. Moved right next door! After a few years of her living next door and seeing how great we all got along and could separate when we needed some space, we decided that we needed to find a "Waltons House".. A house where the whole family lived together. But it would have to be big enough that we still have our own spaces. So we sold both houses and bought a monster!

The first thing I did with the house was totally gut the 2000 sq ft walk out basement... took it down to bare bones. This is now Mom's house under our house.
She has 2 bedrooms, 2 baths (1 is handicap ready) full kitchen, dining and living room. Plus she has attached garage. This was our plan to stay together as long as possible and we're always there for each other without being up each others ***. It was a hard plan but a good plan.

Mom and my daughter have been down in Florida visiting family for about 3 weeks now but due back Sunday. One nice thing is that we're able to take care of her few kitties while she's gone and not lose part of a day doing so. And vie versa.. she watches our dogs when we go on vacation. When it comes time that it's more than just kitties to look after, I think that it will be best for us all, to be together and there for each other and not feel like a burden.

Mom is 73 now and the arthritis has really been setting in the past few years. I'm glad that I can be there when she needs me. Sometimes she needs me too much haha

It was a hard plan several years ago.. but a good one

Just hope that I can live in the basement some day!
 
This thread is proof positive there are still some good people in this world. I lost both parents when they were still young. My Dad was murdered at 52 and cancer stole my Mom from us at 58. I wish they had lived longer but God has a plan for us all.
 
Ddaddy said:
View attachment 1715187648

My father went down hard with Alzheimer’s/dementia 6 years ago, but we still care for him and he still finds things in life to enjoy...even if he barely understands them. He is 82 now and we don’t find caring for him to be a burden. It is a cherished responsibility for a man who gave us life. He was the CEO of a biotech company that was one of the top 25 IPOs of 1992 that included companies like AOL.

It was hard to watch him decline at first...but after awhile, you realize that it is just a part of the cycle of life and caring for him now is as much my responsibility as his caring for me as a child was.

I just hate to think about my being there in the future...but I hope my family will be as kind and thoughtful to me in their feeling of responsibility as we are to him.
Click to expand...

Sorry Dave. that's a disease that while it robs a person of their mind.
The true folks who suffer are those that care for them.
I'm sure I am in the minority here, but I have no desire to have any of my children take care of me.
I took care of them because It was a responsibility and love.
I see no responsibility on their end to care for me.
Just my honest feelings and belief.
 
My Grandmother had it. My Aunt has it know. My Wife's Grandpa had it. Makes me cringe. Almost like hearing Cancer. I'm glad you are able to take care of you Dad. It's a rough disease.
 
Paladin06 said:
This thread is proof positive there are still some good people in this world. I lost both parents when they were still young. My Dad was murdered at 52 and cancer stole my Mom from us at 58. I wish they had lived longer but God has a plan for us all.
Click to expand...

I know the feeling.My Dad was killed in an Work Accident when I was 14..Mom died 4 years later of Heart Disease and alcoholism. I can only wonder how I would handle that situation with them. Did for a year with Linda's Dad but he became extremely violent and at 90 was still stronger than me. Had to put him in assisted living for our Safety.
 
I helped my dad take care of my grandmother for years, sometimes she was ok, then there was other days that she was mean.
Towards the end she never recognized me, but she would call me by my dads name, or my grandpas name.

My dad is now 75 and he bought a house across the street from me.
Just so he could have somebody close if he ever needed it.
He still gets along ok, but his driving is starting to scare me.
 
Ddaddy said:
My father went down hard with Alzheimer’s/dementia 6 years ago, but we still care for him and he still finds things in life to enjoy...even if he barely understands them. He is 82 now and we don’t find caring for him to be a burden. It is a cherished responsibility for a man who gave us life. He was the CEO of a biotech company that was one of the top 25 IPOs of 1992 that included companies like AOL.

It was hard to watch him decline at first...but after awhile, you realize that it is just a part of the cycle of life and caring for him now is as much my responsibility as his caring for me as a child was.

I just hate to think about my being there in the future...but I hope my family will be as kind and thoughtful to me in their feeling of responsibility as we are to him
Click to expand...

God Bless you for viewing it the way you do!

My dear wife is in the early onset of that dreaded disease as you read.

I am scared to death!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
-

Back
Top