A question about etiquette ...What to expect for a day of helping people?

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Kern Dog

Kern Dog

Build your car to handle.
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Let's say you are a 76 year old guy that needs help with a car. You call three guys over and they spend 5 1/2 hours at your place pushing the car into position, hooking up the engine hoist, setting the engine, installing headers and pushing the car back into the garage.
What would be a common and reasonable way to show your appreciation to these three guys?
Keep in mind that the owner of the car is not very mechanically inclined and has to research almost everything.
Lets see some responses. I want to know what others think.
Thanks!
 
A thank you and that is it.
While doing the job, water & a bathroom.
An offer for coffee would be really awesome. But not necessary.
 
The car? 1968 Charger.
JG 1.jpg
JG 4.jpg

What was the owner doing most of the day?

JG 5.jpg
 
So guess what our grand payment was for our efforts.....
5 1/2 hours, ONE bottle of water.
Yeah....
NO food, NO beer, NO snacks, NO thanks until I told him near the end that he should have been thanking us and offering to pay. I was kidding about the money. I was absolutely NOT kidding about the thanks.
In my experience, the guy getting the help always offers food and drinks, BEER if the guys want it.
I would have refused money.
I would have not refused food. The Wife is flat out pissed to see me help a guy this clueless. Its as if he is a Social Savant...He is either clueless as to social protocol or is a cheap and thoughtless prick.
I am always getting people asking for help with something. If it isn't an all day thing, I'm willing to lend a hand. I see it as karma....Maybe God and the universe sees my efforts and somehow good fortune will come my way.
I have GOT to learn how to say no to people without feeling guilty about it.
This guy bit off waaaaaay more than he could chew and is leaning on everyone he can to build this car. Some time ago he wanted to rebuild the front suspension and convert it to disc brakes. I told him that I would do one side, let him watch and then he would do the other side. All I heard is you are so much stronger, I don't have the endurance that you do and other excuses. The whole story of Tom Sawyer and fence painting came to mind.
The guy had no 1/2" drive tools. You need these for suspension and steering work.
He couldn't figure out how to install torsion bars. He couldn't get the grease boots on. He was able to put the C clips in at the torsion bar crossmember though.
Today we put the engine and headers in, set the 2' level across the valve covers and rocked the engine around until it was level then I hung around about a half hour thinking he would offer to get sandwiches or a pizza.
No, we each got a bottle of water.
 
About 8 years ago I repaired the brakes on my father en laws Corvette and Inew I
wasn't kicked. I spent more time repairing the other things with no matchs.
 
A lot of b body and e body people and wealthy people have no clue how to treat people that are giving freely their time energy and know how.
After someone treats me like you were I wouldn't go back. And I cut ties with them.
Alot of times these are the people that want something you have for a low ball price. But when you are wanting something from them they want to rape you on the deal.
 
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wow, that is chintzy

A few years ago I helped a local guy rebuild a 340 from his 73 roadrunner.

He bought me a pizza before we started and then he brought me ice cream and a 12 pack of dew after we got the engine out. After we were done with the whole job, he took me to Texas road house in the road runner and he said we should hang out more, and he sent me a Christmas card a few months later.

So based on that, I would think pizza, soda pop (or beer for you guys) or dinner should be standard for any kind of work on a car.
 
When I offer and do help someone, I expect nothing. If something is supplied or given, fine. I do always offer my friend Evan a beer or five, all the water he can drink and at the end of "whatever" we're doing, Kitty and I take him out to supper with us at our favorite local Mexican joint, buy his supper and I split my pitcher of Dox Equis Ambar with him. He is not "just help" he is a good kid and a friend. But anyone who helps as much as he and works as hard would get the same treatment. I have VERY few friends (he's the only one) who will come over and help me.
 
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I would've started throwing out some hints at the 2-3hr mark about some food&drinks and maybe a 'how much it would've cost if he let a shop do the job', and adjust my workspeed according to the actions taken from those hints.
 
My house is beer and a belly full usually. And help when they need it also.
 
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I didn't expect anything but as I was driving home hungry, it occurred to me how inconsiderate it was to not even get an offer of anything. I don't drink but he could have thrown out the offer.
In the ultra rare occasion that I ask for help, I make it real easy for people. I am prepped and ready, all materials and tools are close by and I have cold drinks in the fridge. The Wife is willing to go for sandwiches or pizza. In short, I make it so those helping me feel appreciated. THis jerkoff will not guilt me into helping him anymore. He still has a ton of things to do too. There is no way in hell he would have been able to install those headers himself. He will struggle with bolting up and wiring the starter, transmission linkages, fuel lines, installing the interior, everything. If he would have shown some respect and gratitude, I would have continued to pitch in when I had the time.
Not now.
 
He got a super deal.
3 mechanics x 5 1/5 hours x $50 an hour that equals
$ 825.00 labor for 3 bottles of water.

I priced having an engine pulled and a replacement installed the other day on a pickup. They wanted $1500.
Can I get the 3 bottles of water deal. I'll also throw in all the pizza you can eat.
 
Jadaharabi said:
He got a super deal.
3 mechanics x 5 1/5 hours x $50 an hour that equals
$ 825.00 labor for 3 bottles of water.

I priced having an engine pulled and a replacement installed the other day on a pickup. They wanted $1500.
Can I get the 3 bottles of water deal. I'll also throw in all the pizza you can eat.
Click to expand...
LMAO I totally agree! I would hire you and your two buddies any day! And throw in beer and pizza!
 
Rainy Day Auto said:
wow, that is chintzy

A few years ago I helped a local guy rebuild a 340 from his 73 roadrunner.

He bought me a pizza before we started and then he brought me ice cream and a 12 pack of dew after we got the engine out. After we were done with the whole job, he took me to Texas road house in the road runner and he said we should hang out more, and he sent me a Christmas card a few months later.

So based on that, I would think pizza, soda pop (or beer for you guys) or dinner should be standard for any kind of work on a car.
Click to expand...

I have a 340 short block in the back garage and all the parts to finish it... Come on over and I'll get some pizza and Mt. Dew and treat you to an ice cream when it's done.... :D

Plush Horse 02.jpg


Plush Horse 01.jpg
 
Jadaharabi said:
He got a super deal.
3 mechanics x 5 1/5 hours x $50 an hour that equals
$ 825.00 labor for 3 bottles of water.

I priced having an engine pulled and a replacement installed the other day on a pickup. They wanted $1500.
Can I get the 3 bottles of water deal. I'll also throw in all the pizza you can eat.
Click to expand...

$50 AN HR. / not in Tulsa !! Way more than that . That's why I take care of my ''probly'' best friend when he needs plumbing help, he takes care of me if I rerun into something I`m not sure about , we`ve known each other for over 60 yrs. . Him being an ex 18 time national record holder kinda makes me think he knows his stuff !!
 
Kern Dog said:
I didn't expect anything but as I was driving home hungry, it occurred to me how inconsiderate it was to not even get an offer of anything. I don't drink but he could have thrown out the offer.
In the ultra rare occasion that I ask for help, I make it real easy for people. I am prepped and ready, all materials and tools are close by and I have cold drinks in the fridge. The Wife is willing to go for sandwiches or pizza. In short, I make it so those helping me feel appreciated. THis jerkoff will not guilt me into helping him anymore. He still has a ton of things to do too. There is no way in hell he would have been able to install those headers himself. He will struggle with bolting up and wiring the starter, transmission linkages, fuel lines, installing the interior, everything. If he would have shown some respect and gratitude, I would have continued to pitch in when I had the time.
Not now.
Click to expand...

WOW , sounds like he`s using people on purpose !! Be done w/ him for sure ! He`ll probly sell the charger if he gets it completed too .
 
See, the big problem is that people with second Gen Chargers tend to be dicks.
I don't know why.
:poke:
No, really.
Just remember, there are exceptions to every rule.
 
" Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed" 76 years old? He may not be thinking straight. Maybe he should have offered drinks and food, maybe he is suffering from Dementia.
 
SGBARRACUDA said:
" Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.”
Click to expand...

@Kern Dog This above is how you should have went in.
The first problem is, you expected. Now your let down on just that word alone. “Expecting” something from someone who asked for help. That’s why I wrote what I did.

Your “I’ll not help that guy anymore even if he tries to guilt me...” seems like, well, honestly, like a revenge move waiting to happen. IMO, from the way I think and carry myself, I think your being a bit rough and feeling bitter.
Let it go. He is an old man probably not taught right from the beginning! Perhaps he ain’t right in the head in several levels. It’s really small potatoes.

However!!!!!!!!!!

A persons attitude will absolutely govern how they get handled next time around.

Normally when I get asked for help I say “No I won’t do the work but I’ll give you a step by step on how to do it while I sit and watch you do it and lend a hand if your about to screw something up or hurt yourself.”

I do realize that would not apply to this old fella... LOL!

This guys lack of etiquette from your point of view should have been brought up nicely with a relaxed tone with the notation of “next time around.....” with “Most every guy I know expects a little something for this heavy labor and it’s nit a Snickers Bar.

Like I said, I only expect A little gratitude and some water to keep myself hydrated and of course the bathroom. Other than that, I’m really not too concerned because I don’t expect. Probably, for the most part, it’s just how people are. Whether they be cheap and chintzy on purpose or not.
 
It doesn’t matter if it’s a Hemi Charger or a Pinto you’re helping out on. The job I volunteered to help out with, based on how long it would take, would indicate whether the person should make his washroom available and provide water. If it’s just changing a flat tire then I wouldn’t expect anything but a thank you as that’s only a 10 minute job. Anything on top of that would be a bonus. If it was installing an engine, then a washroom, water and snacks would be a minimum as that takes several hours. Anything on top of that would be a bonus. If I needed the help, I’d proactively tell the people I’ve asked to help that I’d provide pizza or something if it would span a meal time or was close to one.

What it boils down to is I’m the one who said yes to volunteer my time after being asked to help out. I could have said no. I also can’t expect the person asking to be a mind reader thinking he should know I’d like a drink and a washroom and perhaps food if it’s a lengthy job. If I’m disappointed after helping out, then I know next time to say no to the person.

Live and learn. Everyone doesn’t think the same.
 
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The rule of 1st time shame on him, 2nd time shame on you applies. I wouldn't help that guy watch birds **** on his car.
 
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