A question about etiquette ...What to expect for a day of helping people?

[Kern Dog]

No, I missed that. I guess it was something like a hammock type sling?

 

[diymirage]

@67Dart273

 

[Kern Dog]

I clicked on that and it only sent me to his profile.

 

[diymirage]

it wasn't to draw you're attention, but his
see @Kern Dog ?

(if I knew where he posted it I would put a link in, but this way, he knows were talking about it, and hopefully he'll show it)

 

[Kern Dog]

Thank you, Sir!

 

[BLKNBLU340DSTR]

I didn't expect anything but as I was driving home hungry, it occurred to me how inconsiderate it was to not even get an offer of anything. I don't drink but he could have thrown out the offer.
In the ultra rare occasion that I ask for help, I make it real easy for people. I am prepped and ready, all materials and tools are close by and I have cold drinks in the fridge. The Wife is willing to go for sandwiches or pizza. In short, I make it so those helping me feel appreciated. THis jerkoff will not guilt me into helping him anymore. He still has a ton of things to do too. There is no way in hell he would have been able to install those headers himself. He will struggle with bolting up and wiring the starter, transmission linkages, fuel lines, installing the interior, everything. If he would have shown some respect and gratitude, I would have continued to pitch in when I had the time.
Not now.

I wish I had a nickel for every time I was used for my wrenching/welding/electrical etc skills. I ALLOWED IT, so learn to say no, but only to the known users.(They know EXACTLY what they are doing). I was taught ,(from a small midwest farm community), to feed the help with your best bbq/wifes cooking and a cooler or two full of plenty of beer/sodas/water. You will always have help. Just my two cents

 

[Tooljunkie]

I figure if i make it worth their while, they wont hesitate to help again.
This one particular person will never get my help again,
I cant keep doin stuff for nothing or at a loss,especially when she is quite well off.

 

[pishta]

File that as a charity case. I did wiring work for a guy, agreed to flat $100 for whatever it took me to complete. Busted *** and finished in 90 minutes, guy said $100 was too much for what I did and offered me $20/hr for $30 total. I politely told him $100 was the negotiated price and if I don't get it, Ill be happy to take everything back out and make sure that the next guy will have to do 5 hours of work to get it working...He looked at me in disgust and gave me a $100 bill. Yes, I checked it for the watermark and strip. Should have taken the money in advance AS IT WAS A FLAT RATE. Your situation sucks.

 

[Frodee]

File that as a charity case. I did wiring work for a guy, agreed to flat $100 for whatever it took me to complete. Busted *** and finished in 90 minutes, guy said $100 was too much for what I did and offered me $20/hr for $30 total. I politely told him $100 was the negotiated price and if I don't get it, Ill be happy to take everything back out and make sure that the next guy will have to do 5 hours of work to get it working...He looked at me in disgust and gave me a $100 bill. Yes, I checked it for the watermark and strip. Should have taken the money in advance AS IT WAS A FLAT RATE. Your situation sucks.

I here ya I do paintless dent repair and on a car door dent the size of a dime I can get it out in less than 5 minutes and tell people it's gonna cost them 25 bucks to get it out and that's cheep.
And when they argue the price I put the dent back and walk away.

 

[Tooljunkie]

I here ya I do paintless dent repair and on a car door dent the size of a dime I can get it out in less than 5 minutes and tell people it's gonna cost them 25 bucks to get it out and that's cheep.
And when they argue the price I put the dent back and walk away.

I have a locksmith buddy. He has some great stories.
Locksmiths arent cheap,try and screw with one, could end up paying double or in the drunk tank...

 

[iScamp]

It was shitty that he didn't say thank you or offer you food for working that long over a meal time.

However I've found that it's best to lay the groundwork out ahead of time even in volunteer situations so all expectations are known and no assumptions are made. IE he asks for help and you say well it looks like it's going to be a 6 hour job for 3 of my guys so we'll plan to get here at "X:xx" time. We're going to be there over lunch time so it would be great if you could buy us a pizza and some drinks so we can keep working on your car and not have to stop to go get something to eat etc...

Idk I always make sure I offer money, food, drink, etc when someone helps me which is rare. I usually like to just do it myself. I've just found that it's best to set expectations and communicate them ahead of time so there are no hurt feelings. Assuming someone is going to behave like you expect them to or like society expects them to is going to set you up for disappointment more often then not.

Unspoken expectations is predetermined failure.

Having said that, there is an unspoken expectation when you have guests over at your house. Called: etiquette. which was your initial question. Possible Cognitive problems aside, the guy is a "user". A profuse thank you would be in order and doesn't cost anything. That's his project car, not his daily driver and he's in a bind if he can't get his wife to the doctor. And the bills are killing me'. '68 Chargers aren't cheap. $20 bucks each at the end of the job would still be a tremendous bargain for the car owner. 'hey guys, really appreciate this, go get yourselves a bite to eat'.
Back to my original quote, a little communication goes a long way. Perhaps talking to him later, as someone else in this thread mentioned, might be the best way to be a neighbor. That's my free advice and it's worth every penny.