jeff alder
Well-Known Member
I think the support enabled her to drink for free. She used grandkids as an excuse not to work.
Friends that you had to let go.
- Thread starter Kern Dog
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There's a pizza place about 50 miles from where I live, it's theme is for children and they made the mistake of putting in big screen tv's and selling beer, the next thing that happened is the adults practically took it over, they finally had to stop selling beer because the so called adults were screwing things up it's sad that even something meant for children adults screw it up, they will use any excuse to drink. Look at what they did to Memorial day, that's a day for remembering those in the military and the people use it to get drunk
Some members have deviated from the topic quite a bit.
The person that inspired this topic looked like he was improving but I was wrong. It was like the ***** girlfriend that smiles once a week, fooling you into thinking that she might be becoming nice.
This ***** is back to his old ways.
People…. If a friend quits returning your calls or cuts meetings short with you, maybe the problem is YOU.
Do you call or check in on your friends just to see how they are doing?
Or…..,
Do you only talk about what YOU did, what YOU are doing, what YOU think and what YOU own?
Is this you?
If so, you are being selfish and showing no respect to those you think are your friends.
At the last car show you attended, did you tell people all about your cars OR did you listen to them speak?
I like having friends but I have no tolerance for blowhards that don’t understand what a conversation is supposed to be. I’m not interested in listening to everything that you have to say then see your attention drop off if I want to say something. Screw that.
The person that inspired this topic looked like he was improving but I was wrong. It was like the ***** girlfriend that smiles once a week, fooling you into thinking that she might be becoming nice.
This ***** is back to his old ways.
People…. If a friend quits returning your calls or cuts meetings short with you, maybe the problem is YOU.
Do you call or check in on your friends just to see how they are doing?
Or…..,
Do you only talk about what YOU did, what YOU are doing, what YOU think and what YOU own?
Is this you?
If so, you are being selfish and showing no respect to those you think are your friends.
At the last car show you attended, did you tell people all about your cars OR did you listen to them speak?
I like having friends but I have no tolerance for blowhards that don’t understand what a conversation is supposed to be. I’m not interested in listening to everything that you have to say then see your attention drop off if I want to say something. Screw that.
You have my condolences. It's really hard to watch a loved one go that way.
I’ve seen drugs ruin people. You’d think that seeing their life go to **** would be a wake up call but often times it makes no difference to them.
What a tough situation to be in…adopt a Tough Love stance and cut someone off or keep them near in the futile hope that you can steer them straight.
What a tough situation to be in…adopt a Tough Love stance and cut someone off or keep them near in the futile hope that you can steer them straight.
Glenguy
Well-Known Member
Since I just saw this thread, I'll tell my experience. About a year ago I dumped a friend that I knew since High School. This guy is a full blown narcissist, and he mostly likes to **** on women. Married and divorced twice, two daughters, and many girlfriends who have dumped him. What he would do before I finally pulled the plug on him was that he would always call me and unload about how he felt that he was being treated negatively by his second ex-wife, his two daughters, and his girlfriends. He would pull **** on people and then make himself out to be the victim and claim that he had never done anything wrong, and then expect me to side with him.
One time while travelling to my place to visit from another town, he saw a big RV towing a vehicle. That triggered him, and as he was passing the driver, he rolled down his window and cussed him out, calling him a capitalist pig among other things. Then, when he got to my place, he told me about the incident like he had done a good thing and was proud of it. I told him, "hey, did it ever occur to you that some people earn nice things such as a big RV after years of hard work?" Just after my mom passed away, I was working on the obituary, then he calls be up and tries to unload on me about how his daughters were acting towards him. I had to remind him that I was really busy and that I was going through bereavment.
The final straw came after he called me to ***** about how his current girlfriend had left to visit with her folks in another city without telling him, and then a day or two later he calls me again to complain about how his GF lied to him about how much money she had in the bank. I said JIM! What does all that have to do with me??? One argument led to another with him accusing me of things, gaslighting, and generally being a loudmouth. Finally, I hung up on him, blocked him on my phone, and blocked him on facebook where he would text me with rambling philosophies and even verbal abuse, which sounded like booze talking.
One time while travelling to my place to visit from another town, he saw a big RV towing a vehicle. That triggered him, and as he was passing the driver, he rolled down his window and cussed him out, calling him a capitalist pig among other things. Then, when he got to my place, he told me about the incident like he had done a good thing and was proud of it. I told him, "hey, did it ever occur to you that some people earn nice things such as a big RV after years of hard work?" Just after my mom passed away, I was working on the obituary, then he calls be up and tries to unload on me about how his daughters were acting towards him. I had to remind him that I was really busy and that I was going through bereavment.
The final straw came after he called me to ***** about how his current girlfriend had left to visit with her folks in another city without telling him, and then a day or two later he calls me again to complain about how his GF lied to him about how much money she had in the bank. I said JIM! What does all that have to do with me??? One argument led to another with him accusing me of things, gaslighting, and generally being a loudmouth. Finally, I hung up on him, blocked him on my phone, and blocked him on facebook where he would text me with rambling philosophies and even verbal abuse, which sounded like booze talking.
I have acquaintances.
My wife is the only close friend I've had since the age of 19, that was 42 years ago and guess what she's still my best friend.
All our old friends are divorced and surrounded with drama, so I'm told.
My wife is the only close friend I've had since the age of 19, that was 42 years ago and guess what she's still my best friend.
All our old friends are divorced and surrounded with drama, so I'm told.
Good for you, Glen. You took far more guff than I ever would have.
Glenguy
Well-Known Member
One good thing about him is that he's a friendly guy, he likes doing fun things, and he's hospitable and generous, but when his devious side kicks in, he can be quite malfunctional. What bugs me the most is that he's 61 years old and still acts like a trouble maker. He has even taken his drama to Youtube, or so I have heard.
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missing linc
Loose nut behind the wheel
The thing with addictions is that the addict has to WANT help, which usually means they have to hit rock bottom, and hit it hard. I met a beautiful young woman when I was 18, and she was 17. It wasn't long before I realized that she had some demons that were controlling her life. She got involved in drugs and alcohol, and I admit I enabled her behavior for the first several months because I didn't yet understand it. She struggled for a few years, eventually getting her life on track. She had been through more than a few failed attempts at sobriety, but finally had been clean and sober for a few years, been in university and established a good start in a career.
That was over a period of about 9 years, during which our relationship also went through many ups and downs, but I always felt that we had a future together. Unfortunately just as things were looking really positive, she was murdered. That sent me on a downward spiral where my best friend was in a bottle. Three years of not giving a **** before I got my **** together, but I still am left with the question that will never be answered, what might have been.
My feelings exactly. Kitty is my all in all. I have less friends than fingers on one hand I consider close. I've even turned loose some on here I considered friends.
I have one friend that I keep at a distance although I can say that about most people. I can only handle so much but we share the hobby. I’m not sure why he is the way he is…might well have been his military tours/trauma.
Muad'Dib15
Well-Known Member
Couple people and my brother, sort of.
First guy was kind of a jerk off to begin with but he was friends with my friend before they met me. Really abrasive personality, weird, took stuff a little too far, not great people skills, but he was my buddy's friend so I rolled with it. He couldn't keep a girlfriend because he just wouldn't stop when told to for anything. Finally told me my gf/ now wife looked like a man and that was my last straw. Stopped being around him when possible. Turns out later he banged my buddy's gf behind his back so no loss there.
Next was a guy that I'd known for a little while in the groupchat. Got kinda racist and cop power trippy during covid and some things were said to where I just couldn't be friends with him anymore.
My brother is an alcoholic, has 2 duis and is on year 3.5/5 of having no license for making terrible driving decisions. So what does he do after moving in with his gf? buys my bike. Not mine specifically, it's currently broken. I can understand getting a little 50cc scooter and using it as a run around to get to work and back. It's illegal and he shouldn't have anything at all, but I'm willing to let something little like that slide just to make life a little easier. This MF bought my gd Buell 1125R. A 150 hp sport bike. To "commute to work". Bull ******* ****, he wants to go out riding and run if he gets lit up. He bought it for $4000 and owes my parents 6 for a project that he barely started and just left in my dad's garage. He also has a 77 firebird formula that hasn't been touched in years because he's been too busy smoking and drinking to actually spend time on it. Had it since he was 15, never drove it more than 15 feet because he can't get his **** together long enough to care about the damn thing. So yeah, until he can drive again I'm not talking to him and my life has been less stressful because now I don't worry about him anymore. I felt like a jerk at first because he's helped me out with getting my G8 back together a couple years ago which took a lot of his time up, but I can't handle his inability to keep his life together for more than 6 months at a time. I'm sure once he gets his license back he'll just lose it again for another 6 months within the year because that's all he's ever done since he got it. I had an apt with him for 4 years and it was a constant yoyo of what stupid **** do I deal with now.
First guy was kind of a jerk off to begin with but he was friends with my friend before they met me. Really abrasive personality, weird, took stuff a little too far, not great people skills, but he was my buddy's friend so I rolled with it. He couldn't keep a girlfriend because he just wouldn't stop when told to for anything. Finally told me my gf/ now wife looked like a man and that was my last straw. Stopped being around him when possible. Turns out later he banged my buddy's gf behind his back so no loss there.
Next was a guy that I'd known for a little while in the groupchat. Got kinda racist and cop power trippy during covid and some things were said to where I just couldn't be friends with him anymore.
My brother is an alcoholic, has 2 duis and is on year 3.5/5 of having no license for making terrible driving decisions. So what does he do after moving in with his gf? buys my bike. Not mine specifically, it's currently broken. I can understand getting a little 50cc scooter and using it as a run around to get to work and back. It's illegal and he shouldn't have anything at all, but I'm willing to let something little like that slide just to make life a little easier. This MF bought my gd Buell 1125R. A 150 hp sport bike. To "commute to work". Bull ******* ****, he wants to go out riding and run if he gets lit up. He bought it for $4000 and owes my parents 6 for a project that he barely started and just left in my dad's garage. He also has a 77 firebird formula that hasn't been touched in years because he's been too busy smoking and drinking to actually spend time on it. Had it since he was 15, never drove it more than 15 feet because he can't get his **** together long enough to care about the damn thing. So yeah, until he can drive again I'm not talking to him and my life has been less stressful because now I don't worry about him anymore. I felt like a jerk at first because he's helped me out with getting my G8 back together a couple years ago which took a lot of his time up, but I can't handle his inability to keep his life together for more than 6 months at a time. I'm sure once he gets his license back he'll just lose it again for another 6 months within the year because that's all he's ever done since he got it. I had an apt with him for 4 years and it was a constant yoyo of what stupid **** do I deal with now.
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Can't hit the "like" button on that one, but....Damn! I'm sorry to read this, Randy (and my condolences). Sounds like you and I have a (somewhat) similar tale to tell regarding past loves (mine involves rape, not murder), but I'd rather not dwell on it here.
Love your wife, my friend. Tell her how much she means to you. Daily.
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I'm a lone wolf because of all the bullshit...I will say this , when you find a good friend treat him well ...I used to think I had Many, but eventually found out they were just acquaintances....A real friend will always make time for you or will tell you he is busy wanna come help...
skep419
5.9 Magnum 4 speed afficionado
I gave up drinking and pretty much quit getting invited to things...... No hard feelings, really don't enjoy hanging out with people drinking heavy anyways.
It's odd the problems it causes yet people are upset when you don't partake.
It's odd the problems it causes yet people are upset when you don't partake.
My friend who I fired from any drag racing duties because his drinking was nice by nature. He just thought he was a functional drunk. For example. He had a subcontract with a contractor for Delta airlines to install new self ticketing kiosk machines at MPLS Airport. I too was on the subcontractor list and thought it might be fun to help him out. I met up with him at airport. I could see he was smashed. The contractor fired him immediately. And while he slept it off in the parking garage. I worked 10+ hours installing and configuring those damn things. When I finally caught up with him the next day. He thought it was funny. And not understanding why I'm pissed off. Saying "You got payed" I explained, "I didn't need the money. You did!" And it certainly didn't erase the embarrassment I felt being associated with you. But in his mind "So be it" it was just one job.
Booze was his life, and his wife.
Booze was his life, and his wife.
Was? Like he passed on?
A man with lots of hobbies has few friends.
I learned long ago to get involved with lots of hobbies that don't require much outside help.
I've also learned that loaning someone a $100 and never getting it back was usually money well spent.
Tom
I learned long ago to get involved with lots of hobbies that don't require much outside help.
I've also learned that loaning someone a $100 and never getting it back was usually money well spent.
Tom
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I can understand you missing him, I don't know how long you too were friends but sometimes we just over look the other persons fault or weakness as we all have our faults.
Trying to be reasonable, I've wondered if some friends from the past may have distanced themselves from me and I was too clueless to see why.
August 2023 I got into it with a guy that I've known 41 years. We had opposite political beliefs but he mostly kept his opinions to himself. We got into it a few times over the years but it never got heated until that day in 2023. Nobody insulted each other, no names were called but it was enough to end the "friendship". This guy was 3 times divorced, physically disabled from poor life choices and not taking care of himself.
At that point, it wasn't much of a friendship anymore. He screwed up so many things in his life, I just didn't respect him anymore. He just about lost all interest in the car hobby too, the one thing that we had in common. We used to go to junkyards and car shows together but once he lost interest in that, I didn't see much of a friendship since he took to drinking a lot and trying to chase women that were obviously faster than he was. He may have seen the argument as a convenient way to end what was a failing friendship. I tried making contact a couple of times but he never responded.
August 2023 I got into it with a guy that I've known 41 years. We had opposite political beliefs but he mostly kept his opinions to himself. We got into it a few times over the years but it never got heated until that day in 2023. Nobody insulted each other, no names were called but it was enough to end the "friendship". This guy was 3 times divorced, physically disabled from poor life choices and not taking care of himself.
At that point, it wasn't much of a friendship anymore. He screwed up so many things in his life, I just didn't respect him anymore. He just about lost all interest in the car hobby too, the one thing that we had in common. We used to go to junkyards and car shows together but once he lost interest in that, I didn't see much of a friendship since he took to drinking a lot and trying to chase women that were obviously faster than he was. He may have seen the argument as a convenient way to end what was a failing friendship. I tried making contact a couple of times but he never responded.
Glenguy
Well-Known Member
I admit that I like the wine, maybe more than I should, But I will NEVER let it affect the way I do the most important things in my life such as working, keeping a clean driving record, maintaining close relationships, and playing my guitar.
I don't have many friends in my life. Some I can count on; others are just acquaintances. As far as wondering if I'm the issue... Well, I don't drink so that is one reason that I can think of why people don't want me around. I WAS heavily opinionated about my views which I have toned down a lot the older I get. Now I just nod and smile... It's better this way.
I also haven't run into anyone lately that I just "click" with, if you know what I mean. To each his own
I also haven't run into anyone lately that I just "click" with, if you know what I mean. To each his own
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