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Him: "Seriously? No gag reflex........" Her: {giggles} "Nope. None..."

"Hell we'll starve to death before you sell enough of this useless crap to buy any grub. I'm goin' bird huntin'."

Yep. Was wearing one of those floppy welder's caps, bumble bee kept dive bombing me and I kept swatting at it with my cap. Finally connected. "Gotcha!" Put my cap back on, little bastard nailed me right on top of the head, left a knot the size of a walnut.....

What gets me is when the total is say $18.12. So you hand them $20.12 to keep from getting a pocket full of change, and it just throws them a curve.

Little Johnny and his Dad have to move to a seedy neighborhood after the divorce, Johnny's in the back yard playing. He notices men going in a door across the street, and when they come out they have a big smile on their face. After a week or so he asks "Dad, what the hell they sellin' over...

$7500 for the car, another $17,000 to fix it up and you'd have a $15,000 car. What a deal.

Garage kept? Hell, I'd keep that peice of crap hidden in the garage too.

Now THAT would be handy around here.......provided they make 'em in Spanish. Vamanos pendejo -----> I have been known to pass these pokyasses in the ditch or the left turn lane. If the speed limit's 45, you can bet a tamale dinner they'll drive side by side doing 30.

Some folks will stuff a Cummins in anything seems like:cheers: Thought it was a cool pic.

..........a hot young woman calls you "Sir". Happens to me all the time now and I friggin' hate it. :D

....if your race car is clean from the door handles up.

Sounds like me and my wife.

Goddlemighty.

Hmmm.

Lmao. I have an 8lb sledge with the handle cut off like a shop hammer. I call it my sorry bastard. ''You're gonna come loose one way or another you sorry bastard.............''

.........but funny none the less.

It's so dry here in West Texas, I caught a 20lb catfish the other day, was covered with ticks. Killed a mosquito yesterday, little bastid was carrying a canteen......... Seen a woman on the toilet the other day with a douche, she said it was so dry here she had to prime the damn thing...

Once upon a time a man asked a girl to marry him. She said "NO!" And he lived happily ever after, and worked on his hotrods, hunted, fished, played golf, drank beer, got laid regularly, scratched and farted whenever he wanted. The End.

Wife says I'm self centered.......just because I turn those "studded for extra pleasure" condoms wrong side out..............

The naive young bride had never seen a man naked. Accidently seeing her fiance in the shower, she's shocked and totally confused, so she decides to ask her family doctor about the male anatomy. "Doctor, what was that appertenance sticking out from his body?" "Well ma'am, that's called a *****"...