Budgeting and getting the wife in on it

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johnparts

johnparts

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So after our little fiasco with the car the other day I put the hammer down and took control of our finances for the first time in 4 years. I have given the wife very strict spending limits on all of our non bill related expenses like Food, Gas, etc. She however doesn't seem to understand the importance of these limits already seeing as she overspent on groceries this week already. What can I do to get her more on board with this budget without crossing the line and upsetting her? I need to be strict about it and stick to it myself as well so I won't be buying parts for the car until the money is in the bank to cover our life if things go south.
 
johnparts said:
So after our little fiasco with the car the other day I put the hammer down and took control of our finances for the first time in 4 years. I have given the wife very strict spending limits on all of our non bill related expenses like Food, Gas, etc. She however doesn't seem to understand the importance of these limits already seeing as she overspent on groceries this week already. What can I do to get her more on board with this budget without crossing the line and upsetting her? I need to be strict about it and stick to it myself as well so I won't be buying parts for the car until the money is in the bank to cover our life if things go south.
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Is the grocery budget realistic? You could always go shopping with her.
 
Ah yes been there done that.It took years of..... ehhem....coaching you might say to persuade my wife to save for the future not spend for the day.It was real rough at first with a joint acount,but as the years went on it got easier.I guess the big kicker was when we decided it would be better for my wife to stay home with the kids than work.That really made things tight,but that paid of also,good respectful smart kids.I am by no means monitarily rich but the other riches that I have superceeds anything money can buy.So on that note all i can say is be patient keep your cool and all will come around eventualy,hell I've been doing it for 25 years and counting and all I can say is gets a whole lot easier
 
I feel you on this one. It is a constant battle.

A good starting point is full disclosure. Use a software like Mint or Quicken so you can see itemized spending etc. and review it regularly together so she gets the "big picture". If you just tell her a number she will go over it and then after a few times it will be the norm and you will just be the pest.

Set up rewards for her good spending. If she gets to spend part of what she saves she'll be more inclined to save $100 on groceries to afford $50 for her.

Hell, my wife makes all the money and I'm always the one pumping the brakes!
 
Use coupons etc. Also go to the store with her, you will be in SHOCK how much groceries really are if you haven't been there in awhile. Just came back from Costco 10 minutes ago. We spent 240$ on hardly nothing. This is outside the regular grocery shopping stuff. Family of 4, we spend at least $300.00 per week on Groceries/house supplies. We eat out once a week usually at a Thai Restaurant which is outside of that.
 
My dad always went to the store, said mom spent too much money

When time get tough you have to adjust

Hope you can do it and not live in dog house

We are comfortable, but not wealthy, I'm now thinking we need to make a 10 year plan to try and get the house paid off. So we will be starting to pinch penny's too.
 
maybe she needs to see it on paper in front of her.. do all the math for her to see that there is more money going out then coming in...

in the end though if she really doesn't want to see it she wont.
 
I asked her realistically what does she "need" to spend each week we budgeted for it and I said look if you spend less save it for next time or get a manicure but if you spend more it's getting taken out of the next weeks budget.
 
I went to the store Saturday. $398. I almost crapped. Hoping it lasts us 3 weeks. We usually go once a week and $150 every week is normal. Groceries just keep going up.
 
abodyjoe said:
maybe she needs to see it on paper in front of her.. do all the math for her to see that there is more money going out then coming in...
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xs2 . theres no arguement when seeing it in black and white. what goes out and what comes in. what are necessities and what is luxury spending...

it becomes very clear when there are actual numbers and a breakdown right in front of everyone..
 
Also grocery stores that are now using online apps like Safeway and Von's "Just For You" programs save some extra scratch. We started using them a few months back and now we don't even shop on base anymore. And since you make the shopping list online or on your phone/tablet we spend more time getting exact items instead of browsing the aisles.
 
I don't have or use any cards, period.
You get cash or a check, your choice.
I pay myself first every month, then everyone else.
If theres not enough money at the end of the month
we suffer.
And I will say we suffer very little here on the ranch
after implementing this policy.
It takes a while to adjust, but we have more now than ever.
 
Here is a book Recommendation you. If you and your Wife have not read it, you really need to..

"The Richest Man in Babylon". If you put the principles of money that are in this book to work in your life, you will NEVER have money problems again. Guaranteed no matter how much $$ you make the principles work.

The First Principal is to PAY YOURSELF FIRST. Longarm has got that one nailed.

http://www.google.com/shopping/prod...8&sa=X&ei=zr31UILvHonUiwLSrIGACw&ved=0CH8QzAM
 
Mad Dart said:
Here is a book Recommendation you. If you and your Wife have not read it, you really need to..

"The Richest Man in Babylon". If you put the principles of money that are in this book to work in your life, you will NEVER have money problems again. Guaranteed no matter how much $$ you make the principles work.

The First Principal is to PAY YOURSELF FIRST. Longarm has got that one nailed.

http://www.google.com/shopping/prod...8&sa=X&ei=zr31UILvHonUiwLSrIGACw&ved=0CH8QzAM
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I just ordered that book
 
Ok My father in law said that about Pay yourself first what exactly does that mean? My father in law has been unemployed for 4 years and until just recently started running out of his savings so I know he can manage money.
 
johnparts said:
I just ordered that book
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Cool! I started reading it again a few days ago. It is a small paper back, easy to read and understand. The first time I read it I was like DAMN I am going to give this book to everyone I know. It is that good!
 
johnparts said:
Ok My father in law said that about Pay yourself first what exactly does that mean? My father in law has been unemployed for 4 years and until just recently started running out of his savings so I know he can manage money.
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Pay yourself 10% of your wages FIRST nothing less ever. If you can do more that is good. You will see when you read the book. It has changed many lives. There are other steps that follow after you start to pay yourself. Your Father in law should read the book too.
 
So lets say I make $4000 a month between us both. Rule of thumb would be deposit at least $400 first check of the month OR deposit $100 each week out of the paychecks?
 
johnparts said:
So lets say I make $4000 a month between us both. Rule of thumb would be deposit at least $400 first check of the month OR deposit $100 each week out of the paychecks?
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Every time you get paid whether it is everyday, week or month etc. As soon as you get paid no later. You will never miss the $$, that is how weird the principle is.
 
I suggested that I go to a financial consultant about a budget. She didn"t like the idea of some stranger looking through our personal life and this got her a little bit more on board.
 
Sheesh! My wife still has her lunch money from school...She's tighter than bark on a tree.
 
I've struggled with this too. My wife & I have taken Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University twice. We failed it. Ended up in bankruptcy. Now, being self employed it's stil a struggle but with zero debt, it's a whole lot easier
 
I lived pay check to pay check and spent every penny every payday for years. I have listened and followed Dave Ramsey for nearly 20 years. When you get on a budget you will feel like you got a pay raise. I've been completely debt free including my home for several years now. His plan is tough but, it takes growing up and sticking with it. We have been taking paid for vacations every year now for several years including Hawaii. That is how I got the wife on board. Hey you can have all the clothes you want and vacations if we budget and get debt free.
 
See if you can get your wife to sit down with you and get on the computer make a list of the type,brand of foods you buy. Contact the manufacturer of those foods and see if they will send you free coupons through the mail each week. Also what day your newspapers have coupons in them go buy a copy or 2 sit down go through it all cut out what you need and sort them out by type of items. Also if you have friends who throw away their coupons ask them if they can save them for you. Make a list of foods you need each week and shop at a grocery store that has double coupons,reward cards and do a little stocking up. You will be surprised at the $$$$ you save and that includes personal items too.
 
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