can any one help me with my son

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I'm 24 and did the same darn thing, so I know where your coming from pretty well. Everyone is pretty much in agreeance here. If he's gonna drive, he's gotta have a wrench in on it too. My father made me fix what I broke. Unfortunatly it took me more than I like to admit to figure out the big picture, but I DID figure it out. I was dumb and bounced from job to job often times going through lengthy unemployment stages up until 3 years ago. Now I've had a stable job since then. Paying for everything, but my phone which is still on my dads bill (I'm paying for his storage though $70) the point is, he will come around. I just hope he doesn't wait until its too late. I know this isn't much help, but I pray it gives you a little more hope at least
 
mopardrt said:
all these people blab about video games being bad are wrong, and that whole thought process is absurd! I spend a lot of my time playing video games, and I still do. I have never smoked a cigarette or weed I dont do any drugs and dont drink when my son gets older I will strongly encourage video games. Him in his room playing video games with his friends is better then him running around the streets doing who knows what......

Not trying to start a war, but video games are not the problem lazy people are. I still get out and do proactive things im not 300 pounds with out a job living in a basement, Sitting on the computer on these forums all day long and the internet is just as bad.

Good luck with your son hope all ends well
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I agree, games are not the problem. He sounds like a good kid . What he has is called hormones. Honor roll student ? Sounds to me like he has his head screwed on right. Let him be a kid for a while. Hardest thing to do is motivate a teenager but keep him steered in the right direction and he will mature. He may not grow up with your intrests but he will never foreget what you've taught him. By the way I'm 62 had an Atari set in the late 70's and have been a gamer ever since. No different then setting in front of a computor all day. Good luck with your son ,I think he'll be just fine.
 
Sounds like a typical teen. Just keep loving him - and let him know that you love him.

My son will be 15 in a couple of months. So far we've still got a good relationship and share the same interests but I know that can change.
 
Agree with many above. Honor roll student, plays outdoor sports, kills some free time playing video games.

One thing we do as parents is that we want for them what we want. You want him to love your hobby with the same passion you have for it. At this point in his life he is trying to become his own person, and part of that may be having interests different from those you have. He may at some time develop more of an interest in your passion, or he may not.

You are more than correct in your belief that having mechanical aptitude and the feeling of accomplisment with working with your hands and tools is an important part of self-sufficency, but until he sees the need for it, he may not be interested in it. For me, it was the "need" to change my brakes", the "need" to get the old girl running, the "need" to replace the front end after I damaged it, that got me involved.

Once he is driving the "gifted" Dart, I think you should only provide advice on how to repair, maintain it. Make him responsible for it. Make him take the bus if his car doesn't start and he has to get to work. Make him replace the parts it needs when it breaks. Just like I'm sure you did.

As far as driving your other cars, until he reaches this level, I'd politely say no.

Grant
 
I have four kids, but only two of them have car interests like we do.
The oldest girl who is 32 now loves cars and working on them and does most of the work on her own car, and sometimes helps other people with thiers.
She has been a service writer for a goodyear service center before they had two kids.
The other interested party is the youngest Son and he is turning 19.
He helps on my car when he can as he has a job, friends and video games that he is pretty into.
One thing to remember is that boys mature somewhat later than girls do, and find thier calling later on in life.
My youngest Son had severe ADHD from about 11 till he was 16 or so, and just could not manage to function well at most things he was being asked to do, not to mention the temper and violent outbursts.
Now that he is 19 he has completely grown out of it and is very capable of doing whatever he wants or needs to do, and is extremely sorry for the way he acted and reacted to situations during those years.

I would say not to worry about it too much just yet and make sure he knows what WILL be expected of him as he gets older.
ALL of my kids know better than to even ask if they can drive my car somewhere because they know it just ain't gonna happen.
They all already have cars and I tell them if they don't like what they are driving the get busy and make it happen.

JMO, there is just NO WAY that I would turn over a classic car to someone that won't help work on it to get it ready to drive, as they wouldn't have near the respect for the car that they should.

Again, JMO
 
godfatherofchry said:
you guy seem to help with a lot of things maybe you can help me. First I'm 59 yr old I have 40 per sent of my lungs left and getting worse I have copd asthma and my left knee is going down..any ways my son I love him to death...

I wish you well godfatherofchry, The problem you are having with your son, is not going to be a problem if you don't take care of yourself. Your son is like all of our sons. It's OK! Just be there, be interested in him and his interest. Be there to guild him into his future. He will be talking about you and talks about you now and forever in his life. I miss my Dad. Your good health is the answer to your question. Pick your spirit up and his spirit will come around you more. I hope my words help. Stay healthy my friend! :)
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Time will help here. My son had no interest in cars or even working on the lawnmower but did like vidio games. He had ADD but was a honor roll student, went to boys state,and made Eagle Scout. He is 24 now and is a nurse and called me the other day wanting help installing brake pads on his car. Now that he owns a car he wants to know how to work on it. At 15 he thinking about alot of other things than turning a wench and I think as they age and start thinking more about cars. Someday he will own my Duster and I told him all the old mechanics will be gone and he will have to keep it running.
 
I guess I got lucky, I have 3 boys, the older ones didnt give a lick about cars or what made them run, but they at least knew how to check the oil and jump start them if needed, My youngest son Bryce well he is a different breed than his brothers, he crawled under the car one day when I was changing oil and stuck his hand in the pan and pulled it out all oily and now he knows all about his Duster and what makes it tick.

I guess that your son at least knows the basics and some times that just has to be good enough. Good luck with it ,Im sure he will be fine.

Bob
 
I'll tell ya....i'm 21 years old and although i have to admit i've always loved the mysteriousness of mechanical things, i have gone through phases as well. Now, i have a "fleet" of cars and can do everything short of machine work but try giving him some encouragement. How about taking hm to a car show, or like the other above members said....he either works on the cars or doesn't drive them! lol I wish you the best of luck just remember, us kids are very "impressionable" in these years so do him good. Thanks to my Dad for getting me on the Mopar Wagon instead of Ferd or the Bowtie Boys, God forbid:)
 
Ok my turn I guess. This is how I see it, when I was growing up there were neverless then 10 60's-70's Mopars at my Dad's place. He always wanted me and my brother to help with them. I never did but my brother did. He got a 70 Dart Swinger with ZERO rust for a first car, I got a rusted out 85 Olds Calais. I was to busy flickin boogers and chasing bugs when I was little. Now my brother still has said Swinger in his garage not running and wants nothing to do with old cars, I however after school became very addicted to Mopars. Sometimes it's about the timing of things. Let him finish school and see how things go. By the way I turned 30 in September and the only video game I ever played was an original Nintendo. Not saying they are bad or good I really don't care. The best way to get him interested is MAKE him work for whichever car he gets. If it's your wifes Dart them make him come out and help with it or he can ride the bus or drive the cheapest late 80's car you can find. Give him some incentive to work towards. Even if it means taking him out on some old back roads and let him drive the Dart now. Let him see the joys of driving the old iron. Instill the the love for these old car in him.
Corey
 
i have not read all the responces, but here is what i would do.

go on craigslist, and look for a cheap beater. find one local, and tell your son to take the ride with you to go look at something. do not tell him where you are going.

once you get there, both of you get out of the car, and look at the car. he is going to ask you whf are you looking at that crap for. " just kindly tell him that you are now in the market for a cheap car for him"! he will ask you what do you mean. and then you tell him, honestly, and outright, that he is not getting one of the toys if he does not work on them with you.
tell him that the beater is all he needs. then, he has the choice right there, to either realize that you want him to build with you, or he just does not get one!

or, if you guys are cruising down the road, and see one out for sale, just stop and look at it, and tell him what it is for!

at that point, if he does not have intrest, he will never pick up on it and want to
 
got my son is 1st car and he still has it works on it like it a old car.lol when i got this car all it needed was a clutch and i got that for him, and we put it in..told him to feel the trans with gear oil ..he said he did..ok now he did but he put it in the wrong hole..lol he jacked the car up and put it in the drain hole..lol he didnt know any better..so i heard the bearings in it 1 day he was drive ask he said yes ..i checked it and it had some just not enough...had to buy a trans.. got the trans show him how to put it in and help but let him do the work...worked out great ,then he needed to replace a cv joint in the car..as we all know when you pull the joint gear oil comes out..he said didnt much come out ..ok same thing damn bearing made noise...i took him to the junk yard to buy it with his money this time ,got the trans home and unloaded..help to get car safe on jack stands and told to clean my tools when your done...your not going to help me ..hell no..went in to house mother start to b---- i told her you go help him im done working on the same sh--........now he works on his on car and loves it and takes good care of it..he even painted the car in the shop and looks damn good for a 17yr that has never painted..hell im 39 almost 40 and never painted a car ..but the point is now he loves working and taking care of his stuff and others...so if you have to work for it you value stuff more..:blob::blob::blob::blob:
 
I wish you the best of luck with your son. I will tell you that this is a very trying time in both of your lives and it will get better...

I have 5 kids (4 boys and one lovely daughter). The way I got all of them started on working on cars is to get them a beater as their first car. When it had problems and they came to me telling me that their car was broke and needed fixing, I would tell them " YOUR car is broke and you don't have enough money to pay someone to fix it. I will tell you how but you are going to do the work."

After a few blinks they usually got it. My daughter told me she was going to tell her mother which I said was fine but her mom doesn't know how to fix it either. I also told her the school bus comes by everyday at 6:45AM. She decided it was going to be OK and after learning quite a bit on how to work on her car, she won't go out with a guy that doesn't know how to work on his car...

My number 4 son was the most challenging and sounds much like your son. He was very involved in video games and not too much into anything else. He really started liking playing "Need for Speed" and enjoyed making changes to his car and seeing the characteristics change the next time he played it. I mentioned that if he thought the video game was fun, he should try it for real.

He saved up his money and bought a Nissan 200SX (No Flaming please) and a Japanese Bluebird import motor and installed it pretty much himself using the factory service manual and help from some online friends. It shocked me and his grandpa (we both have worked as line mechanics) as he told us he wanted to do it himself and would ask us if he needed help. He completed it and provided us with many laughs (Like when the shifter fell off and through the floor during the test drive and he had to drive it home in second...).

Bottom line, just keep the communication going between the two of you and it will come around.

Jesse
 
Hey Artie....I'd say "count your blessings" and be thankful that he's doing great in school and actually gets out there and stays active. That's HUGE!....so many kids nowadays are obese and inactive, it's just plain pathetic (and that their parents let it happen!)

Then again, when my sons were younger (they're gone now) I would only give 2, maybe 3 "reminders" to do a chore before everything gets cut off, like games or the computer. I've always tended to "suggest" things to my kids with the expectation that it's going to be done, such as you said....getting the snowmobiles ready. "Let's go get the snowmobiles ready" = you're not doing anything until the snowmobiles ARE ready....lol I tried not to be a jerk about it and help or hang out with them while they're doing chores I'd want them to do.

As far as your project cars go.....if it were me, I'd probably sell all of them but one and then see if he was interested in working on it. If not, then I'd sell it too. I've never expected (or even WANTED) my sons to go bananas over cars from my era. I thought it seems weird. They like my cars, have driven my cars and think they are cool cars, but.....I can tell, it's like 2 completely different eras. With that said, my sons CAN fix their own cars and have rebuilt the engine and pulled the trans out of their SRT-4 and 240SX turbo.
 
In a way, I'm somewhat the same. I like video games, or atleast a couple now, and play the few I like entirely too often. But, when I first got the barracuda, every day I saw my dad outside working on it after coming home from school, the first thing I would do is go over and help him work on it until it was done. When he was working on our 50 caddy or the jeep in the garage, if I heard him out there I would go and watch and talk about what he was doing for about an hour and go inside. This has paid off as I might not be very mechanically minded, but I know what to do and can get it done. *in theory, I did manage to completely fix the front of my caprice last january after the incident* I love the barracuda and have been saving up for a new engine and transmission. I have spent my money on some other things that I've wanted for a while, like an iPod and an Xbox, but I use them enough to where it wasn't a waste of money and will continue to use them as much as the bcuda which once I get the money to finish will do so with or without help. I just don't have the money to get it over the top. It's 80% there, I just need some funding for the last 20.

Now, my younger brother on the other hand has very little knowledge on this. He knows how to change the oil, spark plugs, and tires but that's about it. He's a senior in HS and quite honestly doesn't care about the fact that he has a 1977 Firebird formula that my dad said he would help him turn into a Trans Am. The floors needed replacing and there's a patch under the rear bumper and lights that also needs fixing. Other than that the car is completely rust free, which is somewhat unusual. He had all summer while my dad was in ND to get the car sanded down. I would have taken him to the hardware store to get sand paper and even an electric sander if needed but he never once asked. He spent the whole summer blowing his money on stupid ****. My dad has said that he is more mechanically minded than me, and that may be but he's shown no interest in getting it done. He's had the car (in high school years) longer than I had the cuda. He got it near the end of his Frosh year where as I got the cuda near the middle of my sophmore year, thanksgiving 06, but I had it driveable by the beginning of my senior year, then the transmission broke and I had it rebuilt over the winter, but the point is that it was driven in August 09 if only once. The firebird has been sitting the way it is now since the beginning of his Sophomore year. Yet my dad still thinks he should have it over selling it to a guy from work who really would like an old firebird to work on and get fixed up. :wack:

My sister has recently shown an interest in learning somewhat how cars are maintained and once I change the oil in my caprice, coming up soon, I offered to let her do it, maybe I'll show her how to/explain why rotate tires while doing so.
 
I remember there WERE no video games when I was that age like they have today. If we wanted to play video games, we had to ride our bikes down to the arcade with a pocket full of quarters. My old man taught me responsibility, and wrenchin', the hard way. If you wanta drive, you're gonna fix it first. Then you're gonna fix anything you break. I learned how to turn a wrench in Dad's boat dealership. I was factory certified for Johnson/Evinrude outboards when I was 13. Dad never bought me a car. My first vehicle was a '64 International Scout that traded a Hummingbird depth finder and a 12V Johnson trolling motor for straight trade. Total BASKET CASE. Brought it home just before my 14th b-day. Dad DID pay me when I wrenched in his dealership after school and weekends, and I poured almost every dime into getting that Scout back roadworthy. Did get it back on the road in time to take my driving test for my license.

Skip forward a few years. My oldest son really wanted, and lobbied hard for, "an old Charger" for his 15th b-day. We wound up with the 76 Charger SE we have now. The deal was that day would HELP him work on it anytime, anyday. But dad's hands would NOT touch it alone. Dad only works on it if son is working on it too. Dad did a lot legwork and "wheelin' and dealin'" to get a lot of parts to restore it. But a lack of son's interest coincided with the bottoming out of Dad's business. 3 years later, the car sits in the yard in pretty much the same condition as when we brought home, with the addition of a FOR SALE sign. He's much more interested in video games than the car.

All in all though, NO complaints from me. He saves his money and buys his own games. He does love to hunt, so dad and son do still get some time together. He doesn't mind helping me install hardwood floors, cabinets, etc. when I need him too. And he IS good help. He doesn't drink, although he does dip tobacco. He doesn't run around skirtchasing. Been dating the same girl for 2 years ( and SHE is a good one, approved and loved by all of us). AND he is looking at Dean's List his first semester of college. (We'll know after exams are over this week.) Way I see it, if a lack of interest in a car that I would love to restore and drive myself is the only real complaint I can come up with, then I'd better just shut up and be thankful for what I got.

Just my .02.
 
Artie, he needs a summer at ol'rumbles house. Engine work, beach girls, car body work, NYC nights, drive train work, girls at the park, concerts,....

If he wants the ride bad enuff, tell'em it'll only get done if he wrench's on it, otherwise, someone else will do it and keep it.
 
I agree with others who say parents can't expect children to share their interests. However, you can show interest in things he likes. It's very important to let your son know you are proud of him....make sure he doesn't feel you're disappointed in him. He may also have unspoken fear about your health, which he deals with by avoiding working with you.
 
Good luck brother all kids are different my oldest son is a night mare my youngest son is a dream come true.
 
69B-Cuda said:
My boys both like to play video gams... they both are extremely hard workers and have no problem going out in the garage welding, grinding, working on cars, whatever, but it is not their passion. They just turned 21, one is married, the other will be getting married this summer. I would agree, if he wants to drive them, he needs to work on them and earn it. I made my kids all pay their own insurance and help with gas when they got their license. My boys actually took 3 Saturns and made one good one, swapping engine and tranny (by themselves) and then body parts.... I would suggest having him buy his own car and build it how he wants it, then he will appreciate it more and probably take care of it a little better.
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tell you what... as a poor guy my video games keep me sane when im out of money and my car itch is at its worst...

i know i dont have enough to got racing or even work on it so i have to do something... and when its raining or cold as S**t it keeps me busy...
 
rumblefish360 said:
Artie, he needs a summer at ol'rumbles house. Engine work, beach girls, car body work, NYC nights, drive train work, girls at the park, concerts,....

If he wants the ride bad enuff, tell'em it'll only get done if he wrench's on it, otherwise, someone else will do it and keep it.
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I could use a summer at ol'rumbles myself... engine work, beach girls, girls in the park, concerts... I'm there....

Here I come Rob!
 
Ok, now about your son. You can't force him to work on cars, he has to WANT to do that HIMSELF.

My approach would be to let him do what he wants. If he thinks the car will magically be done when he gets his license, then he will be in for a surprise. Let him get his license and have no car to drive. He may take an interest to fixing his car then. Do not do it for him. Make him realize that if he wants it, he has to put in the effort to earn it.

I didn't have a dad that could teach me how to fix/build a car and how to race. I had to learn on my own from my brother and reading service manuals. Eventually, I passed my brother in mechanical ability. I had to compete in high school with some kids who had fathers who raced and taught them and bought them their cars and parts. I had to earn and learn on my own. He doesn't realize how much of an advantage he has by having a dad with the ability and desire to teach him. Maybe he will come around some day. But he may not be the type that likes to work on cars also. You may have to accept that.
 
I don't think you need help with your Boy. Sounds like he will be fine. his interest just lay elsewhere, right now. Things will prob work out the way you like, if you back off a bit and wait till he comes around.
My father was a truck driver. When i was very young he was around ( working a regular job home nights), but when I was about 6 he went on the road, coming home for a weekend every three weeks. I don't hold this against him ( I did for a while). He made sure we had the things in life we needed. The one thing he did for me that has made the biggest difference in my life was when i turned 16 ( in 1987) I was give me a '69 Satellite. it was far from pristine but it was safe and drove good. The only thing he told me was" it's old take of it and it will last", followed by," if it breaks you eater fix it or walk".
Long story short i ran the weee out of that poor B body. After 3 years 3 engines and 2 transmissions god knows how many U-Joints, and hundreds of electrical gremlins I'm a damn good mechanic, with a love of Mopars.
Your Son already has a good foundation, Do him a favor and follow my fathers lead don't coddle or carry him when it comes to providing for himself when it comes to transportation he can keep it up and going. David
 
If I may be so bold as to try and read between the lines here, I get the feeling Artie's in much the same place as I am. Health not so good anymore, just starting to feel a sense of our own mortality, and maybe even wondering if we have done everything we possibly can to prepare our children for thier adult lives. The best memories I have were when my kids were little, always "underfoot" and asking questions. The second hardest part of being a father is standing back and letting the kids have at life, but the hardest part is the lonely feeling of "do they really need me anymore?" Good luck and good health, Artie. Just hang on to the good memories!
 
krazykuda said:
I could use a summer at ol'rumbles myself... engine work, beach girls, girls in the park, concerts... I'm there....

Here I come Rob!
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LOL, door open.

The Sasquach said:
I don't think you need help with your Boy. Sounds like he will be fine. his interest just lay elsewhere, right now. Things will prob work out the way you like, if you back off a bit and wait till he comes around.
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Honestly, I really agree with this a lot. I think David is right along with a few other guys here. His interest in cars may not be so mechanical right now. An eye for them he may have, a desire to drive an old school rod is there. So this is good.

Since his grades are good and such, the video games are small potato's and really not to harmful if not in excess.Just like anything else, to much of anything, good or bad is just plain bad.

He could some day make enuff money to just simply pay people to do the work for him and not care what the charge is. After all, A doctor can not do his job in the OR with greasy hands.
 
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