Having to put Mom in nursing home

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dustertogo

dustertogo

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Well it looks like the time that I have dreaded for so long is finally here. My mom is 92 and her health has gotten much worse in the last 2 years or so. We can't keep her out of the hospital or rehab. She's been having one urinary tract infection after the other, and then developed C diff in her colon from all the antibiotics. We met with the elder law attorney the other day and got the ball rolling to apply for Medicaid. We are faced with selling her home, and trying to make her money last until Medicaid kicks in. I know it hasn't really hit me yet, but I'm already realizing just how tough this is going to be for all of us. I'm sure the tears will come, but I'm trying right now to act strong, at least in front of Mom. Have any of you guys or gals had to deal with this?

Robert
 
prayers sent make sure thay take good care of her my grandpaw thay didnt reserch the place really good im sorry to hear this
 
Dart_Doctor said:
prayers sent make sure thay take good care of her my grandpaw thay didnt reserch the place really good im sorry to hear this
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x2 definetly research it i have seen and heard alot of of horror stories about nursing homes make sure you find a good one that will treat your mother well. although i havent had to make that descision yet i can understand what your going through. just take comfort in knowing that you are doing what is best for her where she can get the care she needs . prayers sent your way
 
prayers sent for you and your family, we are going thru similar issues, my sister has quit her job to take care of mom
 
My dad died a year ago from a urinary trac infection that got into his blood stream. I used to get those often but not lately because doctor put me on vitiman-c twice a day and I drink blueberry juice every day. I tried cranberry juice but broke out in hives bad. Wal-Mart sells a cranberry and vitiman-c pill in the vitiman section.I'm afraid to try it after breaking out after one glass of cranberry juice. Wal-Mart is the only place that I can find blueberry juice. Google up UTIS and cranberry and blueberry juice. It will help her combat UTI. I hope you and your mother have many more years together. Sandy
 
You have my sympathies.

I was lucky with my parents in that they were able to stay in their home until the end. My inlaws have not been so lucky. We just buried my father in law and the last 4 years have been painful. Every circumstance is, of course, different, but selling the family home is difficult for the elderly. They tend to view their home as their life and when it is gone, well, they just seem to give up. It's not a logical position from the view of the caregiver, but I'm pretty sure when my time comes that I'd rather they take me out in the woods and leave me for the bears.
 
Been there done it. My advice is visit everyday if possible. If you walk down the hallways and smell anything you don,t smell in your own home move her immediately, and I mean now. The more you are there the more you will sense any problems. Pay attention to how much she is sleeping and any sores on her. If you have any nursing friends have them go regularly and check her for any marks sores or anything they do not feel is normal. I had my mom moved 3 times before I was comfortable she was safe and in good hands. Please don,t put her there and just feel she is in good hands. Go visit often and do not set up a regular schedule to do so. Vary your times and go at night if just to set there while she sleeps. DO NOT LET THE HOME KNOW WHEN YOU MAY JUST DROP IN. She is your only mom and deserves only the best. My heart goes out to you as I still miss my mom and dad so bad everyday. Steve
 
Sorry to hear this,but please research and ask for references.
 
It's a tough challenge, no doubt about it. My dad had to spend a short period in a nursing home before we could get him moved to an adult family home. Couldn't get him out of the nursing home fast enough - it was horrible. He got much better care in the adult family home and the cost was comparable to or less than a nursing home.
 
My prayers are also going out to you and your family during this time of bonding together for what you decide is best for your Mom!!

My wife works for an assisted living facility that a friend of ours owns. We call it the Old Ladies Hilton, cause they live in the lap of luxury there. My wife is the best at giving care to her ladies, and I love to go over and talk to everyone of them!! Try to find a home such as this if you can, where there are no more than 6 ladies to care for. They get 100% personal care and your Mom will be much happier in this configuration than in one of those large impersonal facilities!!

Best of luck to your Mom, if she came to the Hilton I'd be playing her a few songs on my guitar, the ladies love that!! Well, most of them do!!! Geof
 
Thanks guys for all of the advice,support, and mostly prayers. It's been sad to watch her decline in her health over the last few years. I only want to do what's best for her, and hope I make the right choice.

Robert
 
Sigh ... Though the situation is a bit different, I have an idea of what you've been dealing with. All I have to offer is the same thing I could use right now, a big internet hug. <<< Robert >>>

Good luck sweets. I'm here if you want to talk.
 
You have my sympathies, I cannot even come close to saying I know how you feel, and dread the day I do. Prayer's sent !!!
 
Count you blessing that she's had a good long life. You and your mom have my sympathies and prayers for the future.
 
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