Told Frankie I'd come in and post an update since I haven't been around in a while. Let's start from the beginning. My last thread my have been back in February, when my mom died. We'll go further back than that. After all the struggles of trying saving my house it was a battle I lost. In an emergency situation I moved the boys and I in with Pop, where I was able to help him with Momma, including through her death and the subsequent grief afterwards. Now, I'm getting back on my feet. Landed a damned good job back in August that is allowing me the financial freedom to not only get caught up on what laid behind me, but working for the future. I'm back at CAF USA, building trains, but this time I'm in rework as a painter, rebuilding and gelcoating broken rooms and panels, primarily for the Amtrak contract. I will say, I'm the go to guy for the most difficult work. Pop's new focus, since he took care of Momma for a good decade before her death, is helping me raise the boys. God bless the man, he's 78 and takes 5 year old Cyrus to school every morning and picks him up in the afternoon and takes care of three year Nick during the day. I'm still battling mental health issues, but have eliminated the stress of dealing with the boys' mom, which has taken a load off, simply because I keep the majority of our conversations to the boys and the boys only. No girl in the present. And no one I can see in the near future. I joke with my friends that if God wants me to have a woman in my life she is gonna have to walk out of the crowd and take me by the hand. I'm too old to play games and too stupid to take hints. Lol Thanks to a couple of good friends who have helped me along the way, I have reinvigorated my walk with God, coming to forgive a lot that was done to me and, more important, forgive myself for a lot of the things I did to others. And remember, after being absolutely crushed by those things, God doesn't see me as worthless. I feel the old me coming back. Confident. Humorous. Loving life, again. As a matter of fact, the guy I work with in the fiberglass booth probably thinks I'm nuts, since I crank the music and dance the day away while I'm working. I have a good future ahead me, raising my boys. I enjoy every minute of it.