MAN ON HIS DEATH BED

[Car Nut]

MAN ON HIS DEATH BED

Doug Pender lived all his life in the Florida Keys and is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, are with him...
He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:“My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses. My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments between mile markers 100 and Tavernier. My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center. Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside on Blackwater Sound". The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, Mrs. Pender, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property.
The wife replies, “The asshole had a paper route.”

 

[Frodee]

Yep sounds like what I'm leaving my family. LOL

 

[Dartnut]

This is how i want to go............

 

[Mark Wainwright]

A man is lying in bed nearing the end of his life. He could smell the delightful odour of fresh baked cookies. With all his strength he slipped out of bed and crawled downstairs and into the kitchen following that lovely smell of cookies. He dragged himself to the table where there were trays of mouth watering cookies. He gathered up as much strength as he could muster and reached for one of them.
His wife smacked his hand with the spatula and said..."Don't touch those..they are for your funeral"

 

[Frodee]

A man is lying in bed nearing the end of his life. He could smell the delightful odour of fresh baked cookies. With all his strength he slipped out of bead and crawled downstairs and into the kitchen following that lovely smell of cookies. He dragged himself to the table where there were trays of mouth watering cookies. He gathered up as much strength as he could muster and reached for one of them.
His wife smacked his hand with the spatula and said..."Don't touch those..they are for your funeral"

LOL sounds about my luck.

 

[emsvitil]

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”

― Will Rogers

 

[MileHighDart]

When I'm on my death bed, I want to be licked to death by puppies! Lots of puppies. I want to die giggling like a school girl.

 

[Frodee]

When I'm on my death bed, I want to be licked to death by puppies! Lots of puppies. I want to die giggling like a school girl.

Kinda like how I want to go but no puppies just some pretty girls. A pile of pretty girls. lol

 

[dart_68]

A man is lying on his death bed. At the foot of his bed are his 3 sons. 2 of them are big and burly but the 3rd is scrawny. As is tradition, a dying man may ask one question and no matter the question the true answer must be given.

The man calls his wife over and asks her, "That last son...is he really my son?" She answers, "Yes, he is really your son." And with that the man dies. The wife then mutters, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other two!"

 

[Mark Wainwright]

Kinda like how I want to go but no puppies just some pretty girls. A pile of pretty girls. lol

I knew you'd say that Fred.

 

[Frodee]

I knew you'd say that Fred.

I'm a bad boy Mark but honest. lol