Married guys - car budgets and honesty

-
Hillarious thread, guys. Lots of wisdom in these pages.

I have no problem with my wonderful wife of 32 years and spraying the money hose at my car. I have always looked after the financial details, and she brings home her share of the bacon. As long as the bills get paid she's happy. She has never ever said I couldn't buy a dirt bike, new guitar, play hockey on 2 teams or whatever. In fact one day a couple of years ago she was waiting for a nice insurance settlement cheque and asked me if she should buy me a motor for the Duster. She's a fabulous cook too.

WHAT I HAVE DONE however, to keep the cosmos in alignment around here is employ the 1.5 rule. That simply means that for every $1000 I blow on my stuff, it ends up costing me $1500 for her stuff. Example: Dirt Bike = Diamond cluster ring; Built 8 3/4 = induction range; and so on. Last couple of years I spent about 10K on the car and I bought her a Yamaha Rhino for about 15K (which of course I drive 95% of the time). She even goes down across the line for weekends to bring my parts orders home from the mailbox. She's a keeper, likes to go cruising in the car and what the hell it's only money. Keeping her happy is a lot easier and still cheaper than giving her half the house.
 
Dusterdenovo said:
Hillarious thread, guys. Lots of wisdom in these pages.

I have no problem with my wonderful wife of 32 years and spraying the money hose at my car. I have always looked after the financial details, and she brings home her share of the bacon. As long as the bills get paid she's happy. She has never ever said I couldn't buy a dirt bike, new guitar, play hockey on 2 teams or whatever. In fact one day a couple of years ago she was waiting for a nice insurance settlement cheque and asked me if she should buy me a motor for the Duster. She's a fabulous cook too.

WHAT I HAVE DONE however, to keep the cosmos in alignment around here is employ the 1.5 rule. That simply means that for every $1000 I blow on my stuff, it ends up costing me $1500 for her stuff. Example: Dirt Bike = Diamond cluster ring; Built 8 3/4 = induction range; and so on. Last couple of years I spent about 10K on the car and I bought her a Yamaha Rhino for about 15K (which of course I drive 95% of the time). She even goes down across the line for weekends to bring my parts orders home from the mailbox. She's a keeper, likes to go cruising in the car and what the hell it's only money. Keeping her happy is a lot easier and still cheaper than giving her half the house.
Click to expand...

Good girls in BC ;)
 
I get a 100.00 a week "allowance" out of my normal check. I build uzi's, FN-Fal's, AR15's AK-47's and mopars. I have a separate paypal account that is used for this. No complaints with this system, bills are all paid so life is good.
 
RockinRobin said:
When we were married 36 years ago, we agreed that my money and her money would be OUR money. We had one bank account and still do. Of course we didn't have 2 nickels to rub together back then. We drove used cars until we could afford to buy new ones, and we've always discussed large purchases before they were made. Now that we are comfortable and I am retired from a 1st career, I got a part time job to pay for the race car and all that goes with it. She understands how expensive a hobby this is, and has gone with me to the track almost every time. Hell, she is the one that bought me the race car and trailer at an estate auction! I consider myself very lucky!
Click to expand...

That's common sense communication, and being a truthful partner. Damn, you got a good one.
 
rumblefish360 said:
Greg;

I read only your post and decided to answer. While the earnings are reversed in this household, there is much similar between us dispite a near decade in age difference. We're in need of a driveway since I just did an additional overflow ceptic tank. Kitchen and living room need a serious updating. Daughters getting married, etc....

The one thing I do is take a small amount of cash off the top of the pay check and push it into my "Toy car account" so long as the bills are met, it'll get done.
it is my only hobby left that I do. She doesn't bother me with my only hobby. I don't bother her with any of hers. If she comes home with a $1500 computer (and she did) I just take interest in it. And say I hope you got the best.

This is an area where we do not bother each other on. It's our sanity and fun outlet. I need mine, she needs hers. Everything in and on and around the house will get done in good time. She knows it, I know it.
Click to expand...

This makes ,some sense. Only experience , teaches you this knowledge. Still single at 47, for a reason: love freedom.
 
i have 3 mopars ,no girlfriend,and repeat i COULD NOT have someone tell me what to do with my money,as a compulsive gambler i have blown thousands upon thousands,enough to probably own a house,i only rent,admitadly my mopars sometimes bring me more misery than joy ,but what doesnt,my mopars dont argue with me invade me with thier opinions,guess i havnt met the right one yet and probably never will,but i honestly think about mopars most of the waking day,it would take a special woman to come between me and my cars,women are woman men are men,women dont think six packs and beer and football are important ,BUT THERE WRONG,the only thing i really miss about not having a girlfriend is no sex,soon as i want sex i,ll have to start playing the game again,but usually after orgasm i,m straight back to thinking about mopars again,if only they actually knew how much we think about our cars they,d be in shock!!!!
 
ok so now I am reading this thread.....I'm not pointing any fingers although I am allowed to do so, I can hand out infractions...or ban somebody????? I'm not gonna do that at this point I am gonna let Ya'll work thru it together.

here are a few suggestions:

1. Don't be the kettle calling the pot black
2. If you took something personally and are butthurt....get some butt cream and go sit in the corner.
3. be nice and respectable to each other
4. accept apologies from other
5. offer a sincere apology of your own
6. get along or Dodger will mess you up with his mean look
Wagg's
 

Attachments

  • 1452407_10151755562022021_1368212482_n.jpg
    94.8 KB · Views: 273
To get this thread back on topic.
I was married to my youngest sons Mom, She owned her own restaurant and outearned me by far as I was home raising our kid's, one of mine one of hers and Ours, then working at a body shop from 3 pm to 10 pm or so 5 day's a week I raced stock cars on the weekends and that was never a problem she would actually make me spend money to make the car better and it paid off I would actually finish races and competed at a higher level.
shop I worked for closed now I was screwed, started working from home in my backyard shop but it was lacking equipment, tools, walls, concrete
knew I needed to make money for my share of the bills and make more money to put into the shop.
problem started: Borrowed 75$ from her to buy a 71 satellite parts car
sold fuel tank 40$ charged 75$ to install
paid 40$ back towards the 75$ I borrowed and 75$ towards the bills
sold engine and transmission for 350$ and 250$ to install got to keep customers old parts
paid back the 35$ I owed and 200$ towards the bills
Now I go and get some shop tools and supplies with the rest...oh boy was I in the doghouse
sell windshield and trim 150$ 100$ towards the bills 50$ for gas in the truck some mountain dew for the shop fridge
strip the car down to nothing but a bare hull and load all junk metals into it and haul it to scrap yard for a whopping 75$ now the yard is cleaner and 50$ more to the bills
In the doghouse again can't win for losing
Bottom Line is she is on her third husband since I divorced her living in a shed with a tent for an addition and I'm the dumb one :) Lost her restaurant I don't know how it was booming...I spend what I wan't on cars, boat's etc. I do not ask for permission I go racing when I wan't which is not often. I go airboating anytime I feel like it. if girlfriend is not on the boat when I pull away from shore then she will have to swim for it :)




rmchrgr said:
So all you married guys - how up front are you with your car budget with your significant other?

I know it's on me but I don't like disclosing how much I spend on my car, just feel like it's right there for her to see and then the questions start coming. I'd rather not have to explain every purchase over $100. She 'pressured' me to have a joint account and I resisted for as long as I could but reluctantly agreed to it. You can't win every battle.

So eventually I opened up my own account to use for my discretionary funds which I didn't tell her about. I don't take from out joint account unless absolutely necessary and even then, it's usually only a small amount. I don't buy stuff I don't have the money for. I don't spend money on much else. Usually it's money from stuff I sell etc.

I pull my weight but she makes more than me. WAY more. She's done well and I'm proud of her. We're not in over our heads in debt. We're not rich but we don't want for anything and we provide for our kids. We save pretty well on all accounts, we are doing great with that and we are relatively young.

But that being said, we have different ideas about money. Some of the issue is upbringing. I am a little more easy going with it, but she is a little well, let's say tight. A rainy day saver. She hardly ever spends money on herself and does not do much in the way of hobbies. Her big ticket stuff is travel which I am not a big fan of.

So, today, it came out that I was planning to go to the machine shop to pick up my short block. It's not an insignificant amount and it's cash only. So, she heard me talking on the phone and I said it might have to wait until the banks open since today is a holiday. (cash withdrawal limits) She says, 'how much do you need, I may have it'. So now I'm cornered. I try to put it off but she kept pressing so I told her how much I need. Now she knows how much I am spending on the engine. Again, I know it's on me. I am generally honest (almost too honest sometimes) but again, I like to keep this stuff to myself to avoid questions.

It extends to a lot of things though. Like for example, our house is old and needs a lot of work. A LOT. We are outgrowing it with our kids and need to make some major changes in it. She is afraid/not willing too take out a large enough loan to do what we need to do. I always say sometimes you have to spend to get money. Took me a year to convince her we needed a car. She drove our Cherokee for years with well over 100K on the clock, I got tired of fixing it. Was like pulling blood from a stone.

I hate this situation, I really do. I'm never gonna change the way she thinks about money. I wish I could just do my thing and not feel like I have to keep it to myself. I'd love to fix up the house. I'd actually like for her to do her travel thing too without feeling guilty about spending money.

Hope this doesn't come off as whiny or entitled. I pretty much do everything for family.

How do you guys handle this?

Thanks,

Greg
Click to expand...
 
Coincidence how Dodger and Dalmatians are black and white... Like old police cars....
 
LOL A-bomber & thanks. My wife just wants me to get here something. She says "I'll take a Stang or a Grand Nash hunny."
...... Might be awhile ...... But she does like to drag race.
 
Wow, sorry to have touched a some nerves here. Just a winter time discussion gang, let's not get too sidetracked or upset with each other. It's really too cold to go out in my unheated garage at the moment so unfortunately I got nothing better to talk about. Being cooped up in the house for weeks on end can drive you batshit crazy sometimes.

Anyway - i really appreciate the replies here guys. I am glad for the forthright discussion from most that have replied, good, bad or indifferent.
 
My wife thinks she is keeping a secret from me, but I know what it is. She likes GTO's.
 
rmchrgr said:
So all you married guys - how up front are you with your car budget with your significant other?

I know it's on me but I don't like disclosing how much I spend on my car, just feel like it's right there for her to see and then the questions start coming. I'd rather not have to explain every purchase over $100. She 'pressured' me to have a joint account and I resisted for as long as I could but reluctantly agreed to it. You can't win every battle.

So eventually I opened up my own account to use for my discretionary funds which I didn't tell her about. I don't take from out joint account unless absolutely necessary and even then, it's usually only a small amount. I don't buy stuff I don't have the money for. I don't spend money on much else. Usually it's money from stuff I sell etc.

I pull my weight but she makes more than me. WAY more. She's done well and I'm proud of her. We're not in over our heads in debt. We're not rich but we don't want for anything and we provide for our kids. We save pretty well on all accounts, we are doing great with that and we are relatively young.

But that being said, we have different ideas about money. Some of the issue is upbringing. I am a little more easy going with it, but she is a little well, let's say tight. A rainy day saver. She hardly ever spends money on herself and does not do much in the way of hobbies. Her big ticket stuff is travel which I am not a big fan of.

So, today, it came out that I was planning to go to the machine shop to pick up my short block. It's not an insignificant amount and it's cash only. So, she heard me talking on the phone and I said it might have to wait until the banks open since today is a holiday. (cash withdrawal limits) She says, 'how much do you need, I may have it'. So now I'm cornered. I try to put it off but she kept pressing so I told her how much I need. Now she knows how much I am spending on the engine. Again, I know it's on me. I am generally honest (almost too honest sometimes) but again, I like to keep this stuff to myself to avoid questions.

It extends to a lot of things though. Like for example, our house is old and needs a lot of work. A LOT. We are outgrowing it with our kids and need to make some major changes in it. She is afraid/not willing too take out a large enough loan to do what we need to do. I always say sometimes you have to spend to get money. Took me a year to convince her we needed a car. She drove our Cherokee for years with well over 100K on the clock, I got tired of fixing it. Was like pulling blood from a stone.

I hate this situation, I really do. I'm never gonna change the way she thinks about money. I wish I could just do my thing and not feel like I have to keep it to myself. I'd love to fix up the house. I'd actually like for her to do her travel thing too without feeling guilty about spending money.

Hope this doesn't come off as whiny or entitled. I pretty much do everything for family.

How do you guys handle this?

Thanks,

Greg
Click to expand...

Are you sure your not living my life somehow??? Except the wife and I make about the same, I get real tired of working just so I can ask if I can spend my own money on parts, then argue about it.....

I started doing side jobs for extra money so that I dont have to argue anymore. I tell her exactly what stuff costs but she dont like it.

Love the wife but I just cant imagine spending the rest of my life living this way, I love my toys, its what I get up and go to work for!
 
like he said, too cold in the garage ( actually an open shed! LOL). I would like to go out there a install trans cooler line, BUT its 20 degrees 6-8 inches snow on the ground, the wind is blowing...... and fighting what was HER cold, now mine! LOL

i'm sure there are many lessons that could learned in these pages!? LOL we all have different circumstances, but maybe some of this conversation will evoke some thought with some of us!??

I have 2 grown daughters. I tried to explain to them when they were young, to get an education, think for yourself, hopefully find your soulmate, BUT whether you are single or married, you are still your own person. it is up to you to make your way in life. be generous, share, he honest, think for yourself, and treat others well, BUT you are still responsible for yourself....
 
OK, Here is my situation. Been married for 26 years had a car problem (hobby) well before I met her. We have a great marriage and have worked through many obstacles through the years. Like you my wife makes at least double what I make and asks for little of nothing in the way of selfish personal possessions. Don't get me wrong I make plenty of money to be self sufficient but we share all money and expenses. We have agreed upon a set amount of cash that I withhold each month when I get paid and it is my discrecionary funds to be spent on cars guns whatever toys I want. THe amount is not crazy and will not fund a project or major puchase unless saved for a long time. I supplement it with wheeling dealing buying selling etc. As long as I don't exceed that budget no questions are asaked. I have in the past been able to negotiate a moderate lump sum for a major purchase as long as there is sufficient extra $$ in the joint savings account.Hope this helps.
 
I been married for 32 years and my wife makes 2x what I do. Our money goes into separate accounts but she just does that for budget purposes and to make sure bills get paid and she pays all bills. My paycheck is direct deposited

I do different things on the side to make money and every time I selll something or make any descent amount she is trying to get her hands on it. Sold some wheels on E-bay and before I knew it money was gone. Sold a cross ram and a tunnel ram and had to spend the money as she was already trying to get it. I make all my spending money on the side

Now all money I make is in cash. I tell her nothing and when I buy anything I don't tell here nothing. She is on a need to know basis and she does not need to know!

When I started brewing she would ***** about money and time I was spending but funny thing, after a couple of years it kind of stopped as she must have figured bitchin didn't do any good and every time I ran out it cost her 4x the amount to buy it at the store.

Some days marriage is a challenge but I think being alone and starting over would be more of a challenge
 
rmchrgr said:
Wow, sorry to have touched a some nerves here. Just a winter time discussion gang, let's not get too sidetracked or upset with each other. It's really too cold to go out in my unheated garage at the moment so unfortunately I got nothing better to talk about. Being cooped up in the house for weeks on end can drive you batshit crazy sometimes.

Anyway - i really appreciate the replies here guys. I am glad for the forthright discussion from most that have replied, good, bad or indifferent.
Click to expand...

Thanks for starting this thread. It reminds me of the days when my buddies and I would gather at each other's garage and shoot the breeze. Sometimes we would actually get some progress done on someone's car. If somebody brought beer along then nothing got done but a lot got said.
 
Funny story, My daughters more than my wife are always complaining because I got a package in the mail. Their needs are met, but I can never make enough to fill their WANTS. Anyways, the other day I got another package in the mail, the usual dad got another package," how come I NEVER DO ANYTHING, NEVER WORK, why don't I get stuff," from the girls. I told them this was their package, I got for them. They opened it with great joy, only to find it was a replacement sun visor, for the one my daughter broke on my wife's 07 Maxima, that cost me $80.00 used. They get a package, to replace something they broke by slamming it around, and don't have to pay for it, and I am still the bad guy. Women!!!!
 
from the people that are finding it hard with spending money on there cars with their wife knowing about it, it sounds like your relationship lacks the same interest in cars. I don't have that problem. But maybe involve your wife more. I can bet she will have no interest in working on it. But do you take her out for rides? Involve her on car shows. Or cruise to a show together, but drop her off at the spa while you are at the show. Take a crusise and stay at a hotel in a neighbouring city. Loosen the distributor then Ask her for help in the shop. Ask her to twist the dizzy...then Take advantage of her ;)

If you keep your car a completely separate activity, she won't see it for anything else but time and money that is being taken away from her. Like one local guy calls his car...his mistress! That's how she will see it.

If you involve her is some ways, she might be more understanding with money spent on it.

I'm pretty sure SOME of the single men making comments here, think that it's there choice to be single. Keep telling yourself that if you want. Marriage is a two way street, not a one way highway!
 
Like I said, I know I'm lucky. But don't think I could have married someone that didn't have an interest in cars.

I have heard same arguments among couples about men playing hockey. It's expencive. But guess what, I know one couple that both play...guess what...they don't argue about the costs!!!

Just bought a 39 chev and she keeps asking when we will be able to drive it.

PS my dogs name is dodger too...cat is mopar!
 

Attachments

  • image.jpg
    91.9 KB · Views: 185
barbee6043 said:
I have 2 grown daughters. I tried to explain to them when they were young, to get an education, think for yourself, hopefully find your soulmate, BUT whether you are single or married, you are still your own person. it is up to you to make your way in life. be generous, share, he honest, think for yourself, and treat others well, BUT you are still responsible for yourself....
Click to expand...


I raised both of my boys to be independent. They can do their own laundry and cook their own food. I taught them how to cook many basic foods. This way, they can take care of themselves their whole life and not feel obligated to have a gf or wife to do it for them....


I was independent as a kid. My parents divorced when I was in 7th grade. Mom was gracious enough to let us choose who to live with, and we both picked dad. Dad was busy trying to run a video store, and wasn't around all the time, so we had to take care of ourselves.

I liked to cook when I was young, and mom let me start cooking when I was 4 years old, as long as she was in the kitchen to make sure that I didn't start a fire or something...

I also would help her do laundry for extra allowance, so I already knew how to cook and do laundry by the time that my parents divorced.


My brother and I would also stick together. If he had half of a white or blue jean load, he would ask me if I had any to throw in with his. He would also ask if I wanted a hamburger when he was cooking one for himself. We did that for each other.


I'll never forget one argument with the wife during our divorce where she tried to tell me that I needed her and couldn't live without her. I told her that I've been taking care of myself since 7th grade and didn't need her to do that for me. That really frosted her @ss that she couldn't use that against me....

She kept the house clean, did the laundry, the dishes, and we both cooked. I did the lawn, leaf raking, and snow clearing, and would cook some of the time as I was a better cook than her (and she would admit it).


It's good to raise kids to be independent and not have to rely on someone else, so they don't have to feel like they are obligated to a bad/dead relationship and hold onto it because they can't cook or do their own laundry.... Either boy or girl...


Besides, they need to be able to take care of us when we get too old.... LOL! :D
 
waggin said:
ok so now I am reading this thread.....I'm not pointing any fingers although I am allowed to do so, I can hand out infractions...or ban somebody????? I'm not gonna do that at this point I am gonna let Ya'll work thru it together.

here are a few suggestions:

1. Don't be the kettle calling the pot black
2. If you took something personally and are butthurt....get some butt cream and go sit in the corner.
3. be nice and respectable to each other
4. accept apologies from other
5. offer a sincere apology of your own
6. get along or Dodger will mess you up with his mean look
Wagg's
Click to expand...
A thread like this will always rub feelings, that is a known fact. My suggestion is don't enter the room if your sensitive of the conversation. If one of these topics of politics, church, family, or football (lol) touch your spine, don't bring it to a round table discussion were 36,000 people might read and respond. The ole' saying is "step into the ring, expect to get hit" applies to FABO too :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
-

Back
Top