My Luck

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Don't believe what you see in the cartoons. No matter how hard you throw a toilet plunger, it won't actually stick to someone's face. Don't ask me how I know this.
 
I never thought DOGE would affect me personally. My wife asked me to email her by midnight 5 things I did around the house last week.

  1. Bring home the bacon
  2. Put a roof over her head
  3. Made sure she had food and clothing
  4. Paid the bills
  5. Didn't buy another Mopar
Now ask her when the last five times you and she had sex...
 
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