Ode to an Alcoholic

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demon seed

demon seed

The Original Demon Seed
Joined
Jan 6, 2006
Messages
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Location
South Alberta, Can.
Let me start off by saying that this is a true story and I'm not looking for sympathy from the members by telling it as a matter a fact I'm a little pissed off that it came to this. My hope is that if there is someone out there in FABO land that is heading down this dark trail then hopefully they'll get some help and STOP.

My story starts out with me moving up to northern Alberta back in 77 to start a new job and shortly there after I met a gentleman who would be one of my friends for the last 30 years. We worked for the same company and I learned quickly that (I'll call him Bob) Bob liked to drink whiskey, as did we all, but at first just on weekends. As it later turned out I introduced Bob to his soon to be wife who was actually the sister of my soon to be wife. Bob started drinking heavily every day from the mid 80's till present day and yes myself and my wifes family tried on several occasions to get him into AA but Bob swore up and down that he wasn't an alcoholic. It didn't help that his wife, my sister in law, started drinking everyday about the same time and of course wouldn't admit the obvious either. Over the past 25 yrs. Bob has lost 4 high paying jobs (100K/yr) cuss he drank on the job, he lost his immediate family (his parents and brothers) because they couldn't stand being around him and he lost his son for the same reason. Thankfully his 2 daughters and wife stood becide him all the way to his death bed.
Yup you guessed it, last night Bob died from alcohol abuse. Bob was 51 yrs old and if you saw him you'd swear that he looked 75, his heart gave out last month then finally his kidneys and liver over the last week. Bob was 70 lbs on his death bed, before he started drinking heavy he was 175#'s and 6 foot 2. The rest of this sad story is I give his wife 6 months before she follows Bob. Now I get to be one of Bobs pall bearers and I hate funerals with a passion especially funerals for someone who died for nothing.

So I guess the moral of this story is if you are like Bob was, someone who can't make it through the day without a drink, if you drink at work or if you go out every weekend and get gutter drunk then get some god damed help. Nobody that matters will think any less of you if you admit to yourself that you are an alcoholic and phone AA. The rest is easy when you consider the consequences of what will eventually happen to you.:angry7::angry7::angry7:

Terry
 
Terry,
I am sorry for your loss. I want to thank you for sharing and I do hope this might shed some light for someone out there so their life story is not cut short like you friend/brother-in-law "Bob". :angry7::angry7::angry7:
~Mary
 
Terry thanks for sharing the story when Im sure it had to be hard to sit and type. And also, sorry for the loss of your brother-in-law and friend! It takes a very strong person to see past their grief and share something horrible like this merely to possibly benefit others. You are a good man!!
 
I hear ya,I myself WAS a heavy drinker for years(auto worker)only drink a couple beers occasionally now.I still have lots of friends that drink daily and yes they look 10 years older than me(there the same age as me 45 and look 55)When ever I buy a vehicle I always here..it must be nice!!And I say back..yes it is nice.These people spend thousands off dollars to piss it away,and most have nothing.All have family problems,financial problems or impaired charges and continue to drink,so no sympathy from me!!Sure i like a few but that,s it.I,ve seen to much bulls..t over the years..divorce,brake-ups and the poor kids.it,s a disease just like drugs and there is help for everyone,just will they see the light and take the helP??Sorry for the long response but you,ve hit a cord with me and i,ve lost friends over their driNking.SORRY aboUT your friend..
 
I was never a drinker but I had many friends who had that monkey on their backs. A friend of mine (that I had known since junior high) died this last summer of liver disease. He was a hardcore alcoholic! Even as a teenager, when times were tough and there wasn`t enough money to get properly drunk, he would buy a cheap bottle of wine and shoot up a half a syringe. Everybody who knew him tried at one time or another to get him help but it was fighting a losing battle. Plain and simple, he did not want help! When he found out he had liver disease he continued to drink until his death. I know what you`re going through Demonseed but it seems that the fate of some people is predetermined at a young age and no amount of intervention will sway it`s course. My friends name was Barry and he had a lot to offer, he was smart, witty, and in a strange way kind. I hate to see anyone go like that but it happens. My condolences to you, your family, and the family of your friend.
 
My condolences demon seed, and your word has been herd.
And I hope if anyone that drinks like that will open there eyes
and get some help. I have seen a few people ruin there lives over
a bottle or even beer, Thank you for your good words to reach out
and help anyone that is walking down the same road.
I do enjoy a cold one and keep a good diet.
I am sure at my age it would not hurt to slow down Just a bit.
Sorry to here this story that you had to watch happen to Bob.
And thank you for sharing it with us.
 
Yes, alcohol can be very physically and mentally addicting to those susceptable. You have my condolences.
 
My condolences to demon and his family, This problem is close to most of us as we all probably have family members who have abused in the past including me. There was a time when I worked in the coal mine that we drank every day after work, but I finally quit that wild circle and now it is hard for me to get 3 beers down. Do not blame yourselves I had a brother in law, who was one of the nicest people in the world (very humble), but he slept with a fifth of whiskey next to his bed toward the end, we lost him at age 38. They have to want to help themselves, all you can do is encourage. Thanks the lord for a chance of resurrection. With unnderstanding and sympathy Walt
 
Terry, Very sad to read.

Sorry for the loss of your friend and thanks for sharing.

Any chance your sister-in-law can be helped before it is also too late? Seeing what this has done to "Bob" maybe she will wake up to save herself.......:sad8:
 
I drink beer almost every day. Anywhere from 3-6 beers. I really like beer. But not to that extent. I have known a few people who can't seem to understand when it becomes a bad thing. My half-sister, who was very close and died at 46 from an alcoholic life style, was one of them. It really sucks when you can't seem to help but.. the only thing I've found is to remind them that you don't like being around them when they go there. That's about all you can do. Just hope they take your opinion seriously enough and soon enough.
I wish I had a more definitive answer but I don't think there is one.

Doug
 
My condolences, I myself am not a drinker but have a good friend who is he's a young man in his 3rd year in the police department and alot of life ahead of him and he loves the sauce dont know how to tell him to dry up.Thank you demon seed you have givin me the motivation i needed to help a friend in a way i never have. Again im so sorry for your loss.
 
Hey Demon Seed
I also have experienced that type of loss. Although it was not a family member (my best friends Dad), I felt the pain of years of his abuse to his family. My friend almost lived at my house in high school. His Dad finally split with his Mom and he lived on the street (in Northern Ontario) for a number of years. When he passed away, my friend had to fly up north to claim his Dad's remain and bury him. Since then his Dad's brother (my buddies uncle) and wife both passed away due to alcohol abuse. My friend has had to care for and eventually lose 3 of his family. A terrible thing to go through. I have always tried to support my friend as best I can. Lean on your friends, buddy, they want to help. Make sure your wife is doing the same. I hate to say it but it sounds like she will lose her sister.

If you want to talk, PM me. Be glad to lend an ear.

pete
 
Again I thank everyone for their well wishes but as I said in the telling of the story, more than anything else I'm trying to open the eyes of any people heading down this path of severe pain and early death. It sounds as if I may have succeeded to a small extent which means that the telling wasn't in vain.

As far as I my sister in law is concerned, she's past the point of help I would think. She's 46 years old and used to be a real looker, now she's skin and bones and looks to be 75 yrs. and the signs of liver failure are obvious. The sad part about this disease is that until the alcoholic admits they are one there is no help.

Terry
 
My condolences as well. Saw my wife's brother go the same way, liver just gave out at only 51, but he looked like he was in his late 60's. Horrible.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss, Terry.

I know where you are coming from. I lost my father nine years ago to alcoholism at the age of 58. He was sent to rehab twice by his employer, but to no avail. He lost his job as Asst Fire Chief in a large department.

He seemed to go downhill quite quickly after that.

There is hope though, for your sister-in-law, if you can get her to see the light. My wife's grandmother was a hard-core alky, to the point of cirhossis(sp) of the liver in her late 50's early 60's. She quit drinking and lived to be 87, passing away just last fall.

I, myself, tend to have a couple or three cocktails a night with the missus as we relax after a hard days work, but not to the point of drunkenness. But my mother still gives me crap about it, not wanting me to turn into my father.

Try to keep your hopes up for your sister-in-law, it could just turn out for the better.
 
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