PlumCrazyJay
70 Dart
> > OLDER EMPLOYEE NOTICE:::
> > Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
> > economy, Congress has decided to implement a program to put workers of 50 years
> > of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and
> > reducing unemployment.
> > This program is called RAPE (Retire Aged People Early)
> > Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for
> > the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination)
> > Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
> > program (System Covering Retired Early Workers)
> > A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
> > Congress deemes appropriate.
> > Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
> > Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
> > Severance)
> > Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
> > any further by Congress.
> > Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much ****
> > (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided
> > themselves on the amount of **** they give our citizens.
> > Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to
> > the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all
> > the **** you can handle.
> > Sincerely,
> > The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.).
> > Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
> > economy, Congress has decided to implement a program to put workers of 50 years
> > of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and
> > reducing unemployment.
> > This program is called RAPE (Retire Aged People Early)
> > Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for
> > the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination)
> > Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
> > program (System Covering Retired Early Workers)
> > A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
> > Congress deemes appropriate.
> > Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
> > Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
> > Severance)
> > Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
> > any further by Congress.
> > Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much ****
> > (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided
> > themselves on the amount of **** they give our citizens.
> > Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to
> > the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all
> > the **** you can handle.
> > Sincerely,
> > The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.).
