Rat and the frog.

[No name needed]

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat's music. While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a stranger confronts him and offers him $400 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $500 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $700 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money. "Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $700" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist.

 

[Treblig]

I'm from Texas so this joke is more appropriate to the South:

A man walks into a bar with a very short stubby yellow dog on a leash. After the owner of the yella dog has had a few drinks another man walks into the bar with his Rottweiler. The small stubby yella dog makes a growling noise at the Rottweiler and the Rottweiler's owner say, "You better keep a short lease on your stupid, stubby, yellow dog or my dog will eat him alive!!" The man goes on to say that the Rottweiler is a grand champion fighting dog and is deadly. The owner of the yellow dog pretty much ignores the other guy and continues to drink. The squatty yellow dog continues to growl in a very distinct low tone (more like a rumble) and the owner of the Rottweiler finally say, "That's it .........I'm letting my dog loose, your dog is dead meat!!!" About that time the short, stubby, yella dog turns around and bites the Rottweiler in half !!!!
The owner of the Rottweiler yells out, "What the hell kinda of dog it that??"
The yella dog's owner says is a slow Southern drawl, "Well we called him Alligator until we cut off his tale and painted him yella!!"


treblig

 

[famous bob]

I'm from Texas so this joke is more appropriate to the South:

A man walks into a bar with a very short stubby yellow dog on a leash. After the owner of the yella dog has had a few drinks another man walks into the bar with his Rottweiler. The small stubby yella dog makes a growling noise at the Rottweiler and the Rottweiler's owner say, "You better keep a short lease on your stupid, stubby, yellow dog or my dog will eat him alive!!" The man goes on to say that the Rottweiler is a grand champion fighting dog and is deadly. The owner of the yellow dog pretty much ignores the other guy and continues to drink. The squatty yellow dog continues to growl in a very distinct low tone (more like a rumble) and the owner of the Rottweiler finally say, "That's it .........I'm letting my dog loose, your dog is dead meat!!!" About that time the short, stubby, yella dog turns around and bites the Rottweiler in half !!!!
The owner of the Rottweiler yells out, "What the hell kinda of dog it that??"
The yella dog's owner says is a slow Southern drawl, "Well we called him Alligator until we cut off his tale and painted him yella!!"


treblig

weired, I`ve got a yellow dog buried in my back yard, that my big Rottweiler got to before I could.
(Don`t think his tail was cut off tho !) LOL I still miss that big rott.!