rubber's

[memike]

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church.

Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, 'Children are a gift from God,' he said.

Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'

And the congregation said, 'Amen.' :toothy7:

 

[OldVart]

Good one Mike.

 

[memike]

Good mornin sid

 

[AdamR]

Lol

 

[onehellofadart]

Excellent!!

 

[memike]

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?"

"No, I don't," said the little boy.

"OK, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work."

Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ***!"

 

[onehellofadart]

Now that is killer Mike!!!

 

[memike]

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.

"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love."

The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"

So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!" :blob:

 

[OldVart]

Good mornin sid

I see you found my baby pictures. I had a lot more hair then.

 

[memike]

I see you found my baby pictures. I had a lot more hair then.

We could be twin's than :toothy7:

 

[memike]

A 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?'

No one answered until little Sweet Betty stood up, angry, and said, 'You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, and you'll get fired!' She then sat back down.

Mrs. Parks ignored her, and asked the question again, 'Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?'

Little Sweet Betty mouth fell open, and she said to those around her, 'Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!'

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, 'Anybody?'

Finally, Sid stood up, looked around nervously, and said, 'The body part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.'

Mrs. Parks said, 'Very good, Jimmy.'

She then turned to Sweet Betty and continued, 'As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
First, you have a dirty mind.
Second, you didn't read your homework.
And third, one day you are going to be VERY, VERY disappointed :thumbup:

 

[1966 dart wagon]

hahah nice ones :thumbup: