The difference between men and women according to me!

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grampyjay

grampyjay

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Ask a man if he's hungry and he'll let you know if he's hungry or not. Ask a woman if she is hungry and she'll tell you what time it is!
Sound familiar?
"Honey, I'm hungry. How about you?"
"It's only 10:30!"
 
Definitely!

That and go to bed together and start making your move.... "What are you doing?"
 
Honey, we should vacuum that spider web down next time one of us has the vacuum out.

Her:
"And wash the walls and paint since I'm tired of this color, and remodel the kitchen, Oh and my car needs a new steering rack, and I don't like the way the front of the shed looks, and there's a weed right there, and there and there, and and and.

Seriously. :D
 
and has to use 38 words when 2 will do . yet some how doesnt answer the question
 
Or.......... "We should remodel the spare bedroom".
The "We" is "Me", and that means that i'll be doing it, and i'll be paying for it too!
Same goes for painting the living room etc............
 
there were two little babies laying in the nursery , both just waking up from their nap
the one rolled on its side, and looked at the other one

PSST she says, PSSSST...are you a boy, or a girl?
the other one replies, sure as i can be, "im a boy"
but how do you know, asks #1?
#2 rolls over and looks over his shoulder
"as soon as the nurse leaves, i will show you" he winks

a few minutes later, the nurse leaves to go get some bottles ready and baby number two calls out
"your ready" ?
baby #1 "you know i am"

so baby #2 lifts the blanked and proudly proclaims,
"there you have it, look at it...blue socks"
 
diymirage said:
there were two little babies laying in the nursery , both just waking up from their nap
the one rolled on its side, and looked at the other one

PSST she says, PSSSST...are you a boy, or a girl?
the other one replies, sure as i can be, "im a boy"
but how do you know, asks #1?
#2 rolls over and looks over his shoulder
"as soon as the nurse leaves, i will show you" he winks

a few minutes later, the nurse leaves to go get some bottles ready and baby number two calls out
"your ready" ?
baby #1 "you know i am"

so baby #2 lifts the blanked and proudly proclaims,
"there you have it, look at it...blue socks"
Click to expand...

Did not see that coming :rofl: Thank you for the :lol:
 
Honey I need another exercise machine, I cannot hang any more clothes on the old one!
 
diymirage said:
well, that is the key to a good joke, right?
set the stage, catch their attention and them WHAM, throw a punchline out of left field
Click to expand...
Right :thumbsup:
I just shared it with all my fb friends :rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
"You're not getting up to do the dishes that I just got done asking you to do?"
 
We can't forget one of the most utilized and greatest lies ever told.
"I don't care"
Believe me ...SHE CARES!!!
 
All my joking aside, my wife is wonderful. As a matter of fact, she enthusiastically helped me to complete my classic car collection. We sat down and I told her what I wanted to get. It was then that she got very enthusiastic and informed me that we are getting no more cars. So... My collection is complete!!!! At one.
 
530pm Her - we should put the kids to bed early tonight so we can spend some time alone before bed.
Me - sounds good to me.
730pm Me - let's take them up for baths, books and bed.
Her - what are you always so "let's take them now" about bed time.
930pm Her - we need to get up stairs for baths, but stops in the kitchen to get them a snack.
Me - OK
1030 - they both are finally out.
1045 - she showers.
11pm - i shower.
Her - we need to go to bed. Your day sarts early.
Me - I thought we were putting the kids down early so we could spend some time together before we went to bed.
Her - you need to relax about bed times.


I love her to no end, but sometimes I just can't keep up.............

So tonight she goes out to get her nails done for her sisters wedding this friday. 740, I take the kids up for baths. Back down at 810, when she gets home, for a quick snack. I get "the look" for giving them snacks that she doesn't think they need cuz they just had dinner 3 hrs ago. Yet, if she had been home, they would have had the same snack 30 minutes later and then went up for baths........ AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!
 
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