The economy is so bad...............

[Sport 360]

Ad them if you got em :sign5:

Wives are having sex with their husbands because
they can't afford batteries.​

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.​

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.​

A stripper was killed while she danced when her audience
showered her with rolls of pennies.​

I saw a polygamist with only one wife.​

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"
you call them and ask if they meant you or them.​

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.​

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.​

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned
their children's names.​

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it,
and they re-possessed her!​

A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.​

A picture is now only worth 200 words.​

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.​

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.​

 

[SCredneck]

had to pawn the car title for gas money.

 

[T-Fish]

The economy is so bad...


...that I bought a Chevrolet.

 

[1968FormulaS340]

Ad them if you got em :sign5:

Wives are having sex with their husbands because
they can't afford batteries.​

My wife said the economy will never get this bad.

 

[Tony Fields]

....if steamboats were selling for a nickle apiece, I couldn't afford
the echo off the whistle:sad1:

 

[Sport 360]

CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

 

[RedFish]

The economy is so bad our Memorial Day barbeque was reduced to only rib flavored potato chips.

 

[DusterKrazy]

"Due to budget restraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off"

...I'm to broke to pay attention..

...I don't have enough money to walk across the street..

...The pawn shops all know me by name- and they ain't taking anything!!

 

[goldfish65]

....crooks are counterfeiting one dollar bills.....

 

[64X2]

the economy is so bad...... I can't pay attention...

 

[daredevil]

The economy is so bad i,m downsizing my home to a smaller box. I live in goverment housing now, a flat rate box.

 

[Fstforward]

my house is so small I have to go outside to change my mind.......

 

[magnumdart]

...I'm out of red ink.

 

[goldfish65]

...a sandwich is just 2 pieces of bread.