straightlinespeed
Sometimes I pretend to be normal
Subject: : Pissing People Off / Politically Incorrect!
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said I haven't eaten for two days. I told him, I wish I had your will power.
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said, sorry about the wait. I said, Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually.
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said, Any Change? I said, Nope, you're still black.
Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was
expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance, with a face like that!
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the
doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've
found that a bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days
when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus
and think to yourself, I'm going to take that.
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar
until the last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
What do you have when you get 32 Iraqi women in the same room? Answer: A full set of teeth!
