Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office

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Rob

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Location
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Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows

that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal

Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the

income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health

insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports

I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out

before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those

insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is

Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that

ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

****!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you

an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my

house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have a

gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up

Yasser Arafat, for **** sakes. I just want to go and park my *** on a sandy

beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a **** whether I plan

on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do

something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not

want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and

get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to

assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us

running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off,

then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture

- you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin'

morons)

Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

Signed - An Irate ******* Canadian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to

confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776

when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served

in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances

up the yingyang.

I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years

and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,

someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST ******* CHINA !!!
 
I'm sure that expidited the whole process. LOL! Sometimes you just have to express yourself to those in power.
 
Excellent but I'll bet ya I know who's the latest addition to the Border Bozos watch list.:toothy10::toothy10:

Terry
 
Kind of sounds like a letter my brother would have written. The discription of his work and what he did fits. LOL Also he dispises the system. LOL

Jack
 
I bet you this guy will be waiting for his passport for a looooong time.
 
Rob,
Spoiled milk in your corn flakes this morning aye ?
I am inspired by your comments. My top priority today will be to get you, your fowl mouth, and lousy attitude out of this country ASAP !
Rest assured that a few phone calls will guarentee a cold day in hell before get back in.
 
It is same here in the USA.
Need a background check for my Jacksonville Port Badge or my Haz-Mat endorsement for my CDL or my Federal TWIC ( Trans. Worker Ident) badge.
Turns out that I need a seperate ( $$$) background check for each one......
and of course, the background check that I got for a concealed weapon permit is not worth more than used toilet paper for all the other checks.

Same data base, just different companies looking. It has now cost almost
$500 to check the same data base 4 times to see if I am worthy enough to transport cars for export, enter the Port Of Jacksonville, haul Haz-Mat materials or carry a concealed weapon like I have since the mid 70's.
 
Rob,
Spoiled milk in your corn flakes this morning aye ?
I am inspired by your comments. My top priority today will be to get you, your fowl mouth, and lousy attitude out of this country ASAP !
Rest assured that a few phone calls will guarentee a cold day in hell before get back in.

Actually I work for the Government, but don't tell anyone :-D We don't get to write threatening letters even if we wanted to, more likely this guys application would get lost for a while in someone's in-basket as the other guys suggested. Depends on who it went too, I don't work in the passport office but if I did and got that I'd laugh my *** off and put it rhough right away :-D If you think Government is difficult from the outside looking in, you should see the view from inside, not pretty :angry7:
 
Rob,
Spoiled milk in your corn flakes this morning aye ?
I am inspired by your comments. My top priority today will be to get you, your fowl mouth, and lousy attitude out of this country ASAP !
Rest assured that a few phone calls will guarentee a cold day in hell before get back in.

More like:

Robbie,

For sure, ya hed spoiled milk in yer flakes this mornin, eh?
This organ-i-zation is inspired by yer cumments - For sure, our taup prioritee taday will be gettin you, yer faal mooth, and yer at-tee-tude right oot of this, here, countree - Ehhh-s-ehhh-p! Rest assurrd that a fuw fone calls will gaurentee a cold day in hell befor ya get back in, ya hoser.
 
More like:

Robbie,

For sure, ya hed spoiled milk in yer flakes this mornin, eh?
This organ-i-zation is inspired by yer cumments - For sure, our taup prioritee taday will be gettin you, yer faal mooth, and yer at-tee-tude right oot of this, here, countree - Ehhh-s-ehhh-p! Rest assurrd that a fuw fone calls will gaurentee a cold day in hell befor ya get back in, ya hoser.


Are you originally from Canada, I'm guessing east coast? Your Canadian is impeccable :-D
 
So where do Canadian's move to when they want to "dodge" things?

Maybe the comment about his relative turning guns on Americans will get him some sympathy points.
 
So where do Canadian's move to when they want to "dodge" things?

Maybe the comment about his relative turning guns on Americans will get him some sympathy points.

I don't have a terrific handle on history so I could be wrong but I don't think we've had mandatory military conscription so not a lot to "dodge" unless you got in and didn't like it but that's a different issue altogether. Having a military background you probably know a lot more about what happens in that case, I would assume they will hunt you down no matter where you run to.

We occasionally have these Canadian history commercials and apparently we were attacked by the US back in 1776 so I was vaguley aware of that. I think we pretty much let that one slide so no sympathy points would be awarded. :-D
 
Are you originally from Canada, I'm guessing east coast? Your Canadian is impeccable :-D

Yet another priceless gem on this site.
Small wonder I keep coming back here.
As a U.S. Government employee, I agree, it is ugly on the inside, too.
 
I don't have a terrific handle on history so I could be wrong but I don't think we've had mandatory military conscription so not a lot to "dodge" unless you got in and didn't like it but that's a different issue altogether. Having a military background you probably know a lot more about what happens in that case, I would assume they will hunt you down no matter where you run to.

We occasionally have these Canadian history commercials and apparently we were attacked by the US back in 1776 so I was vaguley aware of that. I think we pretty much let that one slide so no sympathy points would be awarded. :-D

That was no attack; it was a brief recon in force to confirm it's just too damned cold to live up there...
 
I don't have a terrific handle on history so I could be wrong but I don't think we've had mandatory military conscription so not a lot to "dodge" unless you got in and didn't like it but that's a different issue altogether. Having a military background you probably know a lot more about what happens in that case, I would assume they will hunt you down no matter where you run to.

We occasionally have these Canadian history commercials and apparently we were attacked by the US back in 1776 so I was vaguley aware of that. I think we pretty much let that one slide so no sympathy points would be awarded. :-D

I hope your sarcasm buzzer went off when you read my post.
I am not always a serious hard line bastrd.
 
I hope your sarcasm buzzer went off when you read my post.
I am not always a serious hard line bastrd.


Well there was light buzzing in my head now that you mention it, thought I needed a beer, good to know you have a sarcastic side to you, but I could still use that beer :-D
 
Well there was light buzzing in my head now that you mention it, thought I needed a beer, good to know you have a sarcastic side to you, but I could still use that beer :-D

I think I'll join ya'.
 
Are you originally from Canada, I'm guessing east coast? Your Canadian is impeccable :-D
Lol - no, born and raised in PA - I just watch a lot of Hockey, and I spent my childhood years watching "you can't do that on television." I'm pretty sure that's all there is to know about the country and its culture...

Before anybody gets mad - I'm kidding. The thought of John Candy being dead brings a tear to my eye still to this day - not to mention Some of the hottest chicks come from up north - can you say Evangeline Lilly or Elisha Cuthbert?8)
 
That e-mail letter has been passed around,I read that one about 8 months ago,but it was a 65 year old war vet.LOL!!
 
So where do Canadian's move to when they want to "dodge" things?

Maybe the comment about his relative turning guns on Americans will get him some sympathy points.

we're not known for running from a fight have you seen a hockey game ? We call that fun and as for the guy who said something about our prior conflicts have you read the plaques on the front of the White House and the House of Representatives ? I believe they say something about a wee fire prior to a surrender in 1812 it's sad when you learn your history from Hollywood
P.S. we didn't run in Somalia either , when they grabbed our guys we didn't stand there and watch we killed them and took our guys back no dragging Canadian Bodies through the streets cheering
 
we're not known for running from a fight have you seen a hockey game ? We call that fun and as for the guy who said something about our prior conflicts have you read the plaques on the front of the White House and the House of Representatives ? I believe they say something about a wee fire prior to a surrender in 1812 it's sad when you learn your history from Hollywood
P.S. we didn't run in Somalia either , when they grabbed our guys we didn't stand there and watch we killed them and took our guys back no dragging Canadian Bodies through the streets cheering
Could you provide some info or links for this "history". I did`nt know the Corps of Canadian Voyageurs, burned our White House. I cant find any info about Canada`s military operations in Somalia. I read an artical on peacekeeping operations in Belet Huen, :scratch: I guess Americans are not as proud of our British Heritage:-D By the way do you`all still answer to the Queen? seriously I just don`t know
 
Could you provide some info or links for this "history". I did`nt know the Corps of Canadian Voyageurs, burned our White House. I cant find any info about Canada`s military operations in Somalia. I read an artical on peacekeeping operations in Belet Huen, :scratch: I guess Americans are not as proud of our British Heritage:-D By the way do you`all still answer to the Queen? seriously I just don`t know


I guess the war of 1812 might be a little obscure , but as for the Somali fiasco we went in they tried the same crap with us that they got away with with you [ie Blackhawk Down "] but we killed them instead so the UN with the backing of your government said we were too brutal so our government disbanded our airbourne regiments , as for the queen when she asks a question we answer sure - the answer just happens to be no most of the time , If you like a little more history well it was the Canadians who stayed behind and faced down the whole German army at Dunkirk { we fought till the beaches were empty and we had no more ammo } it was the Canadians who took the Northern most beaches on DDay and were 20 miles inland by noon as opposed to your boys who spent all day hunkered down in the sand till we over ran the Jerries from there flank { the ruse was that the attack was coming in the North so the Germans had shifted their forces that way , we hit the most heavily defended beaches ,1 in 3 died but we sealed the coast roadway so they could not bring reinforcements down to stop the attack and sent units South to outflank the German defense positions all while you and the brits in the middle were getting a tan I suppose , it was also 1000 Canadians who were surrounded during the Battle of the Bulge for 2 weeks no resupply no food over 1000 men walked into the town 90 or so walked out but the Germans were beaten and the war was just a mop up exercise after that {Hollywood made a movie but said it was your airborne go figure } . If you want more there Vimy Ridge and Paschendaele { not sure on this spelling but theres a great movie about this real battle } from ww1 any time you want to learn about real military history read the books of the defeated generals they don't have anything to beat their chest about and just want to tell what they had to go through - keep your stick on the ice eh!
 
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