Cosco Doctor

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Junior340

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Costco Doctor

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.


It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computerprints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.


Thank you for shopping at Costco!
 
That,s pretty funny,Andy.... I am a longtime Dodger fan.... A pinch hitter/utility player named Jay Johnstone,was a prankster.... Mid 80's MLB drug testing, started... He took apple juice hidden,on his body. He dumps it into the sample vial,proceeds to hand it to the chemist.... The chemist replies...," It's seems kind of cloudy,can we get another sample?..., Jay says " no problem!" and proceeds to drink the apple juice filled "sample cup",in front of the chemist/physican... They just, started freaking out...
 
That,s pretty funny,Andy.... I am a longtime Dodger fan.... A pinch hitter/utility player named Jay Johnstone,was a prankster.... Mid 80's MLB drug testing, started... He took apple juice hidden,on his body. He dumps it into the sample vial,proceeds to hand it to the chemist.... The chemist replies...," It's seems kind of cloudy,can we get another sample?..., Jay says " no problem!" and proceeds to drink the apple juice filled "sample cup",in front of the chemist/physican... They just, started freaking out...


i used to work with some people who were on work release or probation, im not sure
but one of the caveats was mandatory surprise pee testing

well, there was one guy who didnt want to quit doing whatever it was he got in trouble for in the first place so he bought clean pee, which he kept in a baggy, taped to his stomach

one day, the baggy sprung a leak, it was hilarious
 
That,s pretty funny,Andy.... I am a longtime Dodger fan.... A pinch hitter/utility player named Jay Johnstone,was a prankster.... Mid 80's MLB drug testing, started... He took apple juice hidden,on his body. He dumps it into the sample vial,proceeds to hand it to the chemist.... The chemist replies...," It's seems kind of cloudy,can we get another sample?..., Jay says " no problem!" and proceeds to drink the apple juice filled "sample cup",in front of the chemist/physican... They just, started freaking out...
The comedian Allen King did that when he was in hospital to the head nurse. He told that story on The Ed Sullivan Show way back when you were probably a sparkle in your dad's eye. True story.
 
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