Cursing at work

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85glht

85glht

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Memo: Cursing at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late .
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources
 
Sorry, LOL, but it's been proven that these alternative phrases do not give the same psychological satisfaction to the employee as "f--k you" LOL
 
funny I had a conversation on Friday with 2 different people where I used both versions of about a dozen of those phrases , one for the Super and one for thee customer .

PS : they both thought I was some what insensitive , for not bowing to their desire .
 
'Tell ya. Having spent about 12 years in the HVAC maintenance /repair field, I CAN tell you that you need to watch your mouth when working on any air handler!!!! Usually you've got the blower compartment open, and sound goes a lllllllooooooonnnnnnnggggg ways down those ducts!!
 
I couldn't make it through the day without cursing some. Just another word to me,cept I don't curse in front of the women. Helps me to express myself, so f..k off! :cheers: Sorry I've had a few drinks. :cheers:
 
I've worked 14 years in appliance repair with out cussing. In fact I have only cussed once in over 40 years! It can be done.
 
My daughter says that "f$$k" is so commonplace that we need a new word... she may be right...
 
I admit I have a dirty mouth. One day I forgot I had my windows rolled down. Some idiot in front of me decided to back up, then leave the damn thing in reverse. I was yelling and screaming "you stupid son of ......a .............." and heard a giggle beside me. Yep, she had her windows down, too!!!
 
i love being a foreigner...95% of all cussing i do at work is in Dutch and no one is any the wiser

one of my coworkers was telling me about his 4 year old nephew who was calling other little kids "bugger bugger"
thought it was cute until they figured out the kid meant mother bugger
 
cannucky said:
funny I had a conversation on Friday with 2 different people where I used both versions of about a dozen of those phrases , one for the Super and one for thee customer .

PS : they both thought I was some what insensitive , for not bowing to their desire .
Click to expand...
This,I more than agree with.....
 
I find this to be a sad commentary on modern society. I have been on this earth for almost 50 years, and have never found a reason to curse.
 
Chuckman said:
I find this to be a sad commentary on modern society. I have been on this earth for almost 50 years, and have never found a reason to curse.
Click to expand...
Well then you clearly don`t work in the trades , If I was a secretary or a school teacher I wouldn`t curse either, I certainly don`t curse around women or customers but I don`t wear a dress to work either there Mr Perfect Prissy .Clearly you are far superior to us mere mortals eh .
 
cannucky said:
Well then you clearly don`t work in the trades , If I was a secretary or a school teacher I wouldn`t curse either, I certainly don`t curse around women or customers but I don`t wear a dress to work either there Mr Perfect Prissy .Clearly you are far superior to us mere mortals eh .
Click to expand...

Excuse Me! I've worked in construction, building houses, and in a factory. It is possible to communicate without using a four letter expletive every other word. If you get used to doing it, you don't have to worry when customers, women, or children come around.

Another person above says the same thing.
 
George Carlin say's "Bad words are for adults to use when they are angry or frustrated, so they don't pick up a crowbar and beat the sh*t out of somebody."
 
Intercouse the (bloody) penquin.

curse: an offensive word that people say when they are angry.
(An area of subjectivity)

vul·gar : not having or showing good manners, good taste, or politeness.
(Covers a lot)

pro·fane: characterized by irreverence or contempt for God or sacred principles or things; irreligious.
(G D fits here, but not in the following)

dirty : not clean

: indecent and offensive
(Breast is OK, but not non avian Boobies, non restaurant Hooters or Ta Tas)

: relating to sex in an indecent or offensive way



[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwTqC2T6q4E"]Monty Python- Penguin on the Television - YouTube[/ame]
 
cannucky said:
Well then you clearly don`t work in the trades , If I was a secretary or a school teacher I wouldn`t curse either, I certainly don`t curse around women or customers but I don`t wear a dress to work either there Mr Perfect Prissy .Clearly you are far superior to us mere mortals eh .
Click to expand...


I've been around for more than 50 years also and I don't cuss. I've served in the army, worked as a roofer, mechanic, road repair crew, maintenance at a packing plant, and appliance repair. I have been forced to put up with others cussing around me at ALL those jobs and still never felt the need. The one time I did it was to prove a point.

Quote found on the wall,
"Profanity, the last resort of a feeble mind"

Any more it's probably just due to not knowing better. If you can control yourself around women then you have no excuse.
 
Wow, I didn't think this JOKE would be analyzed to such great extent. I just thought it was funny.
 
cannucky said:
what part ? that I`m somewhat insensitive ? LOL :-D
1-10 then 12 and 17 where pretty much the first twelve sentences of both conversations .
Click to expand...

Lmao,sorry for not being a little more explained.... I think like you,in instances like this.....:glasses7:
 
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