I am really gong through a rough time emotionally and in all areas right now and need someone to tal

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Supposed to speak to a company next week about installing and maintaining misting systems for produce in supermarkets. Hopeful that something good can come from that.
 
Thats awesome Tom! Hopefully it works out.
I was 2 years away from home and had some tough times. Keep plugging away. You have to.
dustermaniac said:
Supposed to speak to a company next week about installing and maintaining misting systems for produce in supermarkets. Hopeful that something good can come from that.
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Keep trying to get through to your daughter.
We need family to keep us from spinning out.
I hired an attorney this week to try to ensure precedence in my very limited time windows to see my children and not let every single little thing derail my plans to see them.
Maybe come spring I will have the previous useless attorneys paid off, and can think about switching to a job that permits occasional days off.
In the meantime, I am ready to die.
I have had a good life, and I am comfortable with having tried as hard as I could, but welcome death as a way to get some rest.
There don't seem to be "days", or time.
It's all one day, and it just goes on and on.
How would I know what makes one day different from another?
I cannot believe the Cubs won the world series, or that another bad thing is not going to happen tomorrow.
How can I learn to remember who I was, what I liked to do, or how to smile?
Feels like if I am enjoying myself, I must be slacking off somehow, because I feel guilty if I'm not working 7 days or 12 hour days.
So much debt to pay to satisfy the past choices if my family and ex wife.....
Just not able to remember what life was like before my wife decided to punish me for not providing her with all the things she felt entitled to.
 
DT. Im no therapist...never been married but have 2 kids that are men now. I have always been a huge part of their life. I had to fight for that. Not them but their useless mother. When I left her and took my oldest boy he was 6 months old and she was pregnant with my youngest (I didn't know at the time).
I was working in a bar...shitty pay blah blah blah. I fought for my boy and eventually both of them. It aint easy, countless court appearances.
You should document everything you can. Whatever you hope to achieve is not going to happen overnight. Formulate a plan and stick with it.
A member on here a while back said to "make sure you love your kids more than you hate your ex" I couldn't agree more.
I feel for you wanting and needing to be with your kids. Stay in touch with them as best you can (text Bookface Skype).
I know its tough but it can be overcome.
Im sure your kids want to be fought for.
All the best
Darthomas said:
Keep trying to get through to your daughter.
We need family to keep us from spinning out.
I hired an attorney this week to try to ensure precedence in my very limited time windows to see my children and not let every single little thing derail my plans to see them.
Maybe come spring I will have the previous useless attorneys paid off, and can think about switching to a job that permits occasional days off.
In the meantime, I am ready to die.
I have had a good life, and I am comfortable with having tried as hard as I could, but welcome death as a way to get some rest.
There don't seem to be "days", or time.
It's all one day, and it just goes on and on.
How would I know what makes one day different from another?
I cannot believe the Cubs won the world series, or that another bad thing is not going to happen tomorrow.
How can I learn to remember who I was, what I liked to do, or how to smile?
Feels like if I am enjoying myself, I must be slacking off somehow, because I feel guilty if I'm not working 7 days or 12 hour days.
So much debt to pay to satisfy the past choices if my family and ex wife.....
Just not able to remember what life was like before my wife decided to punish me for not providing her with all the things she felt entitled to.
Click to expand...
 
4spdragtop said:
DT. Im no therapist...never been married but have 2 kids that are men now. I have always been a huge part of their life. I had to fight for that. Not them but their useless mother. When I left her and took my oldest boy he was 6 months old and she was pregnant with my youngest (I didn't know at the time).
I was working in a bar...shitty pay blah blah blah. I fought for my boy and eventually both of them. It aint easy, countless court appearances.
You should document everything you can. Whatever you hope to achieve is not going to happen overnight. Formulate a plan and stick with it.
A member on here a while back said to "make sure you love your kids more than you hate your ex" I couldn't agree more.
I feel for you wanting and needing to be with your kids. Stay in touch with them as best you can (text Bookface Skype).
I know its tough but it can be overcome.
Im sure your kids want to be fought for.
All the best
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Steve,nice post... Being I am single, no kids: I was clueless,on how to respond....
 
Thanks ABB, what both Toms are going thru is extremely tough. It is so difficult when you are in the "eye of the storm" and can't see things getting better but they will and do.
Lol I envy you being single
Abodybomber said:
Steve,nice post... Being I am single, no kids: I was clueless,on how to respond....
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dustermaniac said:
I have been an absolute mess since Dee died. As for Gina, she is angry at the fact that Mom is gone also and is dealing with her own form of depression. I have on several occasions tried talking with Gina about seeking counseling without success. I made the stupid mistake after Dee died of meeting a woman who basically came on very strong to me when I was at my weakest and vulnerable. And I fell really hard and fast for this woman who was so caring in the beginning and let down my guard and ended up moving in with her. Fast forward three months later and I have found out that she is not the caring person who I thought she was but instead a very evil bi polar witch who is very self centered and hurtful. But now she has put me out in my truck in the cold and I am just a mess inside. I know I'm better off without her in my life but I am not good with being alone. Gina I feel is angry that I left and moved in with this woman so soon after Dee died, but she was looking for a place with her boyfriend and was filling out application after application for rentals and leaving application fees and losing money. So since my lease ran out in August and I figured why not just let her take over the house and contents minus what I took. So now I am still dealing with the very strong grief of losing Dee and also a broken heart on top of that. I was working for Choice Home Warranty and got screwed out of over $2500 in completed calls and do not think I will ever see a penny from them. And all this combined has just left me feeling very hopeless and alone. Gina will not talk to me, (I've tried)And to be honest with the holidays just around the corner the desperation and loneliness and hurt have just consumed me. I am trying to pull myself out of this but I cannot seem to do it or just do not know how to. And loneliness is really hard. I feel very alone. That's why I just want to be with Dee. The feelings of overwhelming despair are constantly there.I am in a very deep, deep depression right now. As for the truck it is a 2001 Ford F150. I cannot get any heat out of the heater. Thought the blend door was stuck, ended up cutting into the heater /AC box with a dremel behind the glove box. Blend door is working, but heater core is ice cold despite both heater hoses hot to touch. No coolant loss, New radiator, water pump, thermostat, Clutch fan, upper and lower radiator hoses, serpentine belt, tensioner, and lower manifold.
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man oh man - there really are some people out there that just suck! hey, you took a shot and it didn't work out - what it does show is that you still got it mister ...and be sure, there IS a woman out there that will appreciate you and be good for you. Life really has a way of dealing out lemons and making lemonade just ain't happening right now... I always figure it'll just be that much sweeter when you DO get around to it, you know what I mean?! Gina will come around - it's a battle worth fighting - 'nuff said. It may not be totally obvious to you right now, but you're doing better than you think you are... :thumbsup:
 
Thanks for the support.
I'm not capable of hate.
Fortunately my ex and I never fought.
But it does seem she has taken every step possible to destroy my world and life, and it's very hard to have faith in anything when so much crumbles so easily.
I am scared to ask for Sat and Sunday off,
because there is no end of work and problems are endless.
How do I tell my boss I am at wit's end when he needs me 6-7 days?
 
Darthomas said:
Thanks for the support.
I'm not capable of hate.
Fortunately my ex and I never fought.
But it does seem she has taken every step possible to destroy my world and life, and it's very hard to have faith in anything when so much crumbles so easily.
I am scared to ask for Sat and Sunday off,
because there is no end of work and problems are endless.
How do I tell my boss I am at wit's end when he needs me 6-7 days?
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honesty
 
ScampMike said:
honesty
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Agreed!! Boss's are people too, they have families and feelings, and a straightforward talk with him will be the best way to express yourself! Any boss or company owner worth their salt needs employees that are dedicated, which it sounds like you are, but also rested, positive, and focused when they are on the job! That can't happen when you are stretched to your limit, and he/she should understand that! Taking time for yourself should be very high on your priority list, I always say that a job is just a means to get what you REALLY want to do!! I don't know if a single person who wants to work 7 days, 12 hours a day and not get to enjoy the rewards of that! Even the business owner has an end goal in mind for all that money he is dreaming of making!

Take time for yourself, its very important right now, Saturday and Sunday should be your days to recharge!! I'm praying for you!!!
 
dustermaniac said:
So now I am still dealing with the very strong grief of losing Dee and also a broken heart on top of that. I was working for Choice Home Warranty and got screwed out of over $2500 in completed calls and do not think I will ever see a penny from them. And all this combined has just left me feeling very hopeless and alone. Gina will not talk to me, (I've tried)And to be honest with the holidays just around the corner the desperation and loneliness and hurt have just consumed me. I am trying to pull myself out of this but I cannot seem to do it or just do not know how to. And loneliness is really hard. I feel very alone. That's why I just want to be with Dee. The feelings of overwhelming despair are constantly there.I am in a very deep, deep depression right now.
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Tom, Kudo's on finding counseling. Anyone who loses a spouse needs professional help, it's good you realize that. Now, be sure to go.

You will start to see change when you change the broken record of negative statements, and replace them with hopeful ones. "I just want to be with Dee" isn't an option so stop saying it. Instead say something positive, such as, "I know I can beat this thing."

How you've been dealing with this, hasn't been working. That's plain to see.

Someone said, and it makes sense... We have two choices, Stay where we are, or, move forward. Once you make up your mind to move forward, a therapist can help!
 
dustermaniac said:
Supposed to speak to a company next week about installing and maintaining misting systems for produce in supermarkets. Hopeful that something good can come from that.
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That is great but don't settle for that one prospect, in the meantime keep on job hunting like your life depends on it, because it does!
 
Tom don't give up.
I lost my wife and best friend of 26 yrs. a little over a yr ago and like yourself went into a darkness no person should have to endure. Just when I was about to call it quits on life I received a video of my wedding from my wife's sister and it started the process of turning my light back on. It is a slow process but you have got to find light no matter how dark it gets. It is up to you. Now every time I feel a bout of darkness coming(which is still almost every day ) I block it out and focus on a specific great time that MJ and I had over the yrs.
Prayers are with you always Brother.
 
dustermaniac said:
Just not experiencing any joy out of life in general
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Been there.
That is to be expected after such a traumatic loss, look at your whole life and realize all the joy you have had over the years and this is a roadblock to overcome and chance to renew, refocus and find that joy again. Do whatever it takes. Re-connect with daughter, start fresh in new area, seek counseling, etc.
Death can never steal the love memories have left us.
 
When you are serious about moving forward there is a very easy way to accomplish this. Find a way to help someone else. Maybe volunteer at a church to hand out dinners or donate a little time to a charity project. Not only is this a great way to network (ie connect for a job) but I find I can't help but feel better when I improve some one else's day. BTW can you even count all the people who have sent good messages your way now and thru the fund raiser and thru your birthday? Open your heart and let a little in. All the best to you.
 
You have your health, you have your daughter! Look around you! Look at other members on this board that are fighting health and physical handicaps, others that are in much worse shape than yours. My Best friend has a nephew 19 years old that came back from Iraq where an IED has left him parallelized from the shoulders down! Come On Man! Suck it up buttercup!!!! I'm sure this won't be a popular post, but I feel needed to be posted.
 
"Just not experiencing any joy out of life in General"

That's expected right now. Heck, I have a lot of them days. Sometimes life isn't all about Joy. Sometimes it's just about living and making do with what you have and moving forward. Life is always a journey, and it's usually always uphill. It is worth the climb, but sometimes we just need to rest.
 
I am sure your daughter is going through the same if not worse than you are. My daughter was 15 when her Mom was killed. I spent plenty nights trying to console her. I can not imagine what would have happened to her if I had not been there for her. Do your best to reconnect with her and go through this process of healing together. I am sure she was very hurt by your moving in with another woman so soon which you know now was a big mistake. Praying for the both of you, Joe
 
As most have said here Tom, hang in their man. Never give up..even when others let you down, because you may be lifting someone else up without even knowing it.

God Bless You and I hope your spirit heals quickly.

Bruce
 
No chance of me getting off work Saturday, but can maybe see them in the morning and Sunday should be off.
Pray I get to spend both days with my children.
This new life of work and sleep only makes me feel like I exist for the sole purpose of moving money between corporations, and I'll never dig out it. Somehow I gotta get the Belvedere stored for the winter.
It's supposed to be warm here this weekend, so maybe we could go for a drive while the leaves are beautiful. I want to go take video in a tunnel at a brick factory and hit some trails, and spy on the house where I'm waiting for foreclosure and some people to move out.
Been feeling really crushed and worthless because I cannot be present for my kids.
I live 40 miles away, and am working 3 PM to whatever it works out to and repeat daily.
That 40 miles is often 2 hours, so I can't see them during the week.
I just have come to expect that every single thing that could possibly make my life more complicated, difficult, and stressful will happen as soon as it can.
Can't yet anticipate good outcomes, but
maybe I'm better because I am no longer startled quite as easily.
Last fall, I would kinda freak out at the sound of the landline phone bell, due to all calls being about debt.
 
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