I'm depressed

[nuttyprof]

Hobbies? 62 Valiant, (budget limits that one) gardening, (working there) FABO and the like,(on those obviously). Never was good at making (or choosing) friends. Closest FABO member I know of is ~50 miles away and none of my vehicles are trustworthy that far. (Trying to fix that) I'd love to get together with some of you some time if I can find a way.

 

[krazykuda]

View attachment suicidehotline.jpg

 

[Oklacarcollecto]

Hobbies? 62 Valiant, (budget limits that one) gardening, (working there) FABO and the like,(on those obviously). Never was good at making (or choosing) friends. Closest FABO member I know of is ~50 miles away and none of my vehicles are trustworthy that far. (Trying to fix that) I'd love to get together with some of you some time if I can find a way.

How about fishing? That relaxes me and gets me away from the daily surroundings that depress me.

 

[2-66 Cudas]

Went thru 2 depressions. First one at age 28. Had 3 little ones to feed, took a job working 3 to 11 an hour and a half from home with Tues and Weds off. Saw very little of my kids, was locked in a cage selling tickets and handling baggage for 1 Amtrak train. After 6 months I was ready to let go of the wheel and go over the edge on the road home from Johnstown, PA. If I was not a person of faith, I would have. I was also sure God was upset with me for not using my talents to work in the field I had gone to school for. I ended up taking a job 10 minutes from home for 1/2 the money but was a happy camper. The second time was 2004. My printing business lost a major account thanks to Wal-Mart opening super centers with grocery stores. All the mom-n-pop stores started folding up, I had a contract with a local grocery wholesaler doing grocery tabs for these independent markets. I got so down I didn't come out of the house for 7 months. I dwelled on the past and couldn't see any future. I had thoughts of checking out, but therapy and God telling me he had more for me to do brought me around. I have seen all of my children get married, have been on 6 mission trips with my church and the business has survived. Keep the faith and God will see you through. Find a goal and focus on it, you can't go back and change what has happened but you can have a major hand in what will happen.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Have you considered attempting to find out what the problem is, from THEIR perspective. I say that, because it's a pretty foregone conclusion that you've already come up with a "reason" that your family doesn't want a relationship with you, but, unless you hear it from them (ALL of them) you're still working off an assumption that could be completely false.

Get some professional help, and maybe try talking to them. You might find that your differences aren't terminal (in any sense of the word).

Family is usually very forgiving.

Sometimes, sometimes not. Offhand, I KNOW what my father's problem is: he wants me dead, he wants my wife dead (note: she would vivisect him without batting an eye), he wants both of us to die screaming.

 

[nuttyprof]

My oldest wants me in prison, my second is the only one who will talk to me my third will not acknowledge me, my fourth ignores me, and my ex wife ( whom I still love ) only contacts me when she needs something.
I'm better now, my oldest and youngest were visiting my second and my oldest made it CLEAR I was not welcome to visit. That tore me up but I am ok now.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Damn. Well...I admit I want my father in prison (or a nut farm), but he used me as a punching bag for ten years.

 

[Abodybomber]

Good luck,Nutty Prof... Completely understand..., I use comedy, as an outlet. Relating with family members, night take a aggressive take on your part, to break that shell... One on one ,usually invigorates you.. Personal knowledge....

 

[nuttyprof]

I did much better for a long time but I'm back to battling depression. My health is going to pot, (fusion and nerve damage at l5/s1, no disks just bone on bone from t12-l4, breathing and stomach problems are the major ones) had to quit appliance repair because I couldn't manhandle stuff around like I would need to, worked as a cashier at Walmart for 5 years, got fired from there for something minor ( should have just been a warning) on the 14th of July. I have been unable to find work yet and I am going stir crazy not interacting with people. Without my faith in God I probably would have gotten to know a bridge pier or something really close at speed or something similar. I WILL NOT DO THAT! I know and trust God. I know where I am going when I die. Living with a failing body stinks. I have a few friends that I can spend time with but they have their own lives and I need to be considerate of that.

 

[toolmanmike]

I did much better for a long time but I'm back to battling depression. My health is going to pot, (fusion and nerve damage at l5/s1, no disks just bone on bone from t12-l4, breathing and stomach problems are the major ones) had to quit appliance repair because I couldn't manhandle stuff around like I would need to, worked as a cashier at Walmart for 5 years, got fired from there for something minor ( should have just been a warning) on the 14th of July. I have been unable to find work yet and I am going stir crazy not interacting with people. Without my faith in God I probably would have gotten to know a bridge pier or something really close at speed or something similar. I WILL NOT DO THAT! I know and trust God. I know where I am going when I die. Living with a failing body stinks. I have a few friends that I can spend time with but they have their own lives and I need to be considerate of that.

Good to hear from you again. Growing old ain't for sissies. Keep your chin up and take one day at a time. And, keep the faith. I just turned 70 and I'm not looking forward to the next 10 years or so. I also have back problems, hip and knee pain and the like. I do enjoy my cars, family and having a few toddies with friends. If you feel desperate, there are places that can help. We're here for you.

 

[One Bullet Barney]

Good to hear from you again. Growing old ain't for sissies. Keep your chin up and take one day at a time. And, keep the faith. I just turned 70 and I'm not looking forward to the next 10 years or so. I also have back problems, hip and knee pain and the like. I do enjoy my cars, family and having a few toddies with friends. If you feel desperate, there are places that can help. We're here for you.

Agree. PM me anytime if you need to talk.

 

[FISHYPETE]

Seek proper support. I lost my wife to depression over 10 yrs ago. It’s something your loved ones will never get past

 

[71GSSDemon]

Hang in there Sir. Depression is exhausting which snowballs. FABO group is the best. Siynd off as you need to. We are all here.