Morris and the Rabbi

[Mark Wainwright]

At Friday night services, Morris went to his friend Irving and said,

"Irving , I need a favor - I'm sleeping with the rabbi's wife. Can you hold him in temple for an hour after services for me?"

Irving was not very fond of the idea, but being Morris' lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.

After services, he struck up a conversation with the rabbi asking him all sorts of stupid questions in an effort to keep him occupied. After some time, the wise rabbi became suspicious and asked, "Irving what are you really up to with all this?"

Irving , filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, confessed to the rabbi "I'm sorry Rabbi, my friend Morris is sleeping with your wife right now and asked me to keep you occupied."

The rabbi smiled and, putting a brotherly hand on Irving 's shoulder, said " Irving I think you'd better hurry home, my wife died two years ago."

 

[Treblig]

GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ahoey]

Two middle aged women working in garden weeding and hilling. One pulls out this massive carrot and shows it to her friend. The friend says wow that reminds me of my husband. She says what he’s that big. The friend says no that dirty.

 

[Mark Wainwright]

Two middle aged women working in garden weeding and hilling. One pulls out this massive carrot and shows it to her friend. The friend says wow that reminds me of my husband. She says what he’s that big. The friend says no that dirty.

A guy is standing at a urinal in a bar. Suddenly this big black fella comes walking in and stands next to him. The guy casually looks down and sees this guy has a white ***** and one white middle finger.
The guy says I can't help it but I noticed you have are of colour but you have a white ***** and one white finger.
The fella says "Oh I'm not black, I'm a coalminer on my honeymoon"
(hope nobody was offended)

 

[diymirage]

A guy is standing at a urinal in a bar. Suddenly this big black fella comes walking in and stands next to him. The guy casually looks down and sees this guy has a white ***** and one white middle finger.
The guy says I can't help it but I noticed you have are of colour but you have a white ***** and one white finger.
The fella says "Oh I'm not black, I'm a coalminer on my honeymoon"
(hope nobody was offended)

this is the way i heard it:

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink *****.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white patriarchal society .
"In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink ***** also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society".
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery", asked the couple? "Because I am the artist, who painted the picture", he replied, "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. "They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."