My POS sister

[diymirage]

i guess im on the younger end of the spectrum here, mid 30s
my father in died a few years ago, and we moved my mother in law in with us not too long ago
my wife has 3 siblings and i dont forsee any issues with them if her mom were to pass, there just isnt enough to argue about

now on my side of the family, there is just me and my sister and things are a little more difficult
my parents own a good sized farm house and a few years ago my sister fell on hard times and my parents donated a chunk of ground and part of their farmhouse (the front end of the house used to be living quarters, where my parents live, the back 3/4 of the house used to be for the lifestock, and my dad was using it as a garage. my sister build a 4 bedroom home in the back part of it leaving enough garage room for her and my dad to still have 4 stalls each)
anywho, its drawn up that once my parents die, i am to receive whatever the sum of that was worth, off the top, before else gets split up
me and my sister have always gotten along and never cared about who got what so i dont foresee any issues
and even if there are, im pretty sure this would be my attitude (roll clip)

 

[Treblig]

i guess im on the younger end of the spectrum here, mid 30s
my father in died a few years ago, and we moved my mother in law in with us not too long ago
my wife has 3 siblings and i dont forsee any issues with them if her mom were to pass, there just isnt enough to argue about

now on my side of the family, there is just me and my sister and things are a little more difficult
my parents own a good sized farm house and a few years ago my sister fell on hard times and my parents donated a chunk of ground and part of their farmhouse (the front end of the house used to be living quarters, where my parents live, the back 3/4 of the house used to be for the lifestock, and my dad was using it as a garage. my sister build a 4 bedroom home in the back part of it leaving enough garage room for her and my dad to still have 4 stalls each)
anywho, its drawn up that once my parents die, i am to receive whatever the sum of that was worth, off the top, before else gets split up
me and my sister have always gotten along and never cared about who got what so i dont foresee any issues
and even if there are, im pretty sure this would be my attitude (roll clip)

My Sister ( executrix of the Will) was the nicest person in the world (BEFORE MY DAD DIED). Then she turned into a.................................................................well, let's just say that she wasn't the nicest person in the world. Once a person gets control of over 2 or 3 hundred thousand dollars.....they change, at least my Sister changed!!!

What the Will says and what the executor does is not always what you think will happen. The Will says to do "X" but it doesn't necessarily say that it must be done in 3 weeks, 4 weeks or one year. As the clock ticks down (in our case, 7 years) money can disappear. There's nothing you can do about it!!

treblig

Treblig

 

[LocuMob]

I have no idea what my parents have set up, or not for that matter. I just know my dad became a hoarder after getting laid off the first time in the early 90's. He had some good stuff but over the years it's worked it's way out of the house. He has trains and cameras, so that can be sold. The rest of the stuff will probably end up in a dumpster. My twin lives in Maryland, and I know she won't be able to assist in clean up. My older sister lives nearby, but will be fairly worthless, she will complain,help a little and leave. I know I will be doing all the real work. It doesn't bother me, I just am prepared to do most of it. I don't for see any problems between us siblings, whatever is left to us will be split evenly. I guess I should talk to them so I know what they want.

My twin has already talked to me about being my nephew's godfather, I was flattered when she pointed out I'd be more responsible than my older sister, and I'm the one who never finished college!

 

[Treblig]

I have no idea what my parents have set up, or not for that matter. I just know my dad became a hoarder after getting laid off the first time in the early 90's. He had some good stuff but over the years it's worked it's way out of the house. He has trains and cameras, so that can be sold. The rest of the stuff will probably end up in a dumpster. My twin lives in Maryland, and I know she won't be able to assist in clean up. My older sister lives nearby, but will be fairly worthless, she will complain,help a little and leave. I know I will be doing all the real work. It doesn't bother me, I just am prepared to do most of it. I don't for see any problems between us siblings, whatever is left to us will be split evenly. I guess I should talk to them so I know what they want.

My twin has already talked to me about being my nephew's godfather, I was flattered when she pointed out I'd be more responsible than my older sister, and I'm the one who never finished college!

I attempted to clean out my Dad's house at least 20 times (including my kids who helped). I could never get through all the stuff he had stored away. My sister (executor of the will) and her sons had already gone though most of it but I still managed to find my Dad's Purple Heart and many other items that I remembered seeing when I grew up in that house. I had to dig for days!!

Treblig

 

[harrisonm]

A side "benefit" to this story is something a friend told me the other night over this. If someone gets hurt, etc, generates liability due to that house / property, then "I" as an "owner" CAN BE SUED for liability. I'm more anxious than ever, now, to get this settled. Bear in mind I have no problem with her buying it (buying the rest of us out) if she would only DO that

It also occurred, not necessarily this fire, that she is intentionally letting it go downhill some so she can buy it cheaper...................

(House is old enough it needs renovation, rewired, etc anyway)

She is waiting for you to grow tired of the game and either give up and give it all to her, or settle for pennies on the dollar.

 

[SGBARRACUDA]

My Sister ( executrix of the Will) was the nicest person in the world (BEFORE MY DAD DIED). Then she turned into a.................................................................well, let's just say that she wasn't the nicest person in the world. Once a person gets control of over 2 or 3 hundred thousand dollars.....they change, at least my Sister changed!!!

What the Will says and what the executor does is not always what you think will happen. The Will says to do "X" but it doesn't necessarily say that it must be done in 3 weeks, 4 weeks or one year. As the clock ticks down (in our case, 7 years) money can disappear. There's nothing you can do about it!!

treblig

Treblig

Your case is not that uncommon when it comes to wills and doing the right thing. Best thing for anyone that is looking at a estate with assets is for you to hire a Lawyer that specializes affairs after death. Just so he sees that the will is carried out as intended and in a timely manor.

 

[67Dart273]

I am completely worn out. Cold and wet day, went up to the place today and got the Scamp rolling body I sold a guy. I was going to deliver it clear to Spokane, but ended up back at my place, I'll ferry it rest of way in a few days.

Some photos. Not only did the break in/ fire do damage, but my so called sister had let the renters run the place into the ground. The outer yard, according to my neighbor was awash in tall weeds. Evidently either my brother in law or so called nephew knocked down the worst of the weeds. You can see "it looks like a hayfield." At some point there had been electric fencing all around the house with horses. The house essentially became "the centerpiece" of a horse corral.
Front porch. You cannot see it here, but just next to that green carpet a small fire burned a couple of places CLEAR THROUGH the 2x4s decking, smoked up the door, and melted some siding. You can see the "upkeep" is not very good

Driveway and garage. According to the neighbor, the whole back yard was tall weeds. You can see there are weeds even in the gravel driveway. FIRE DANGER!!!

Looking towards road side of house to right. More weeds, less upkeep!!

This used to be a nice old house. I don't know whether to get mad, or cry

The mess in the garage

Rear of house, more hay, less upkeep!!

My Dad scratch built these used to be marvelous cabinetry, that is smoke and soot. Cabinet used to be full of my Mom's "special" dishes

Acellerant had been used on the floor. Not clear to me if there was carpet when this happened, or whether carpet had been removed sometime earlier

Fire burned a small hole clear through the floor. The window is broken from the heat

Fire, smoke and soot.

The bathroom tub. This shows two things.........soot / smoke from the fire, and the poor condition of the tub. My so called sister should have been ALL OVER THIS riding herd on the rentors

Damage upstairs. It appears they painted the wall, left their handprints, and stuck paper to the paint

 

[67Dart273]

Also, I was emailed a copy of the sheriff's report. My piece of crap pathological liar "nephew" told the sheriff that he figured "I COULD HAVE DONE THIS."

RIGHT!!! Top in my mind would be BURNING DOWN MY OWN INHERITANCE!!! NOT!!!

He also told the sheriff "he had had lots of trouble with me." Well BULLshit!!! I have not seen, seen of, or spoken to him for MORE THAN 10 YEARS and was before Mom died, and precisely WHY is I want no part of his BS, "just like this!!"

Fortunately, messing with the barn would have been "too much trouble" for whoever did this, and they left the Scamp and the barn alone. Of course it has ENOUGH damage, again, no care of it from my so-called sister.......Most the roof is now gone!!

 

[Treblig]

You should also should have been given a copy of the will. All siblings are entitled to a copy.

Treblig

 

[67Dart273]

You should also should have been given a copy of the will. All siblings are entitled to a copy.

Treblig

OH yes I do. It's a "living trust."

The NEXT big question is "does she have insurance" on the house to cover this? The answer had BETTER be "yes." She better be looking for an 'ell of a good lawyer. She is going to need one

 

[SGBARRACUDA]

I doubt she SPENT money on home owners. This is water over the dam, but you should have dealt with this 10 years ago. Hire a lawyer! and let him get busy!

 

[Tooljunkie]

Not to mention value of home 10 years ago compared to now.at this point, i think its more about the closure than the money.

Funny as it may seem, i care less about money today than when i was younger,still need it to function, but im not about starting a war over a few dollars. I bowed out of a "family meeting" when my grandmother passed, because i knew my siblings wanted a piece,cornering my mom expecting her to dole out some cash.

Every situation is different, but there are lines drawn for a reason and when crossed then they need to be dealt with.

 

[SGBARRACUDA]

Not to mention value of home 10 years ago compared to now.at this point, i think its more about the closure than the money.

Funny as it may seem, i care less about money today than when i was younger,still need it to function, but im not about starting a war over a few dollars. I bowed out of a "family meeting" when my grandmother passed, because i knew my siblings wanted a piece,cornering my mom expecting her to dole out some cash.

Every situation is different, but there are lines drawn for a reason and when crossed then they need to be dealt with.

I am where your at also, now days the money just isn't as important to as when I was young.

 

[67Dart273]

Ten years ago there was no basis for going to court. It had not been long enough to show she was stalemating, and the renters either "weren't there" yet or hadn't been there long enough to do any real damage. Last, for "awhile" let me remind you all that "the big crash" had real estate in the toilet, and she could have successfully argued that to "sell it now" (meaning then) would have lost much value.

This is all sad and too bad but it's the way things ARE. There isn't much I could have done, really.

 

[SGBARRACUDA]

Well what is it? You start out with your" POS sister" Now your sounding like you are defending her?

 

[67Dart273]

Well what is it? You start out with your" POS sister" Now your sounding like you are defending her?

Do NOT start up with me. What I'm saying is "10 years ago" things were very different. Real estate was down, if I'd gone to court demanding (based on what?) that she sell the thing, the judge would have laughed us out of court

 

[SGBARRACUDA]

No I'm not going to start with you. I will make one last comment.So you thing the house is worth more in this condition than it was 10 years ago? And yes you can hire a lawyer from the get go to see that the executor handles the estate fairly and in a timely manor. But I see your not interested in hearing anything that doesn't stroke your feathers! I done and out!

 

[diymirage]

Well what is it? You start out with your" POS sister" Now your sounding like you are defending her?

its family dude, dont you know only family can talk bad about family?

 

[67Dart273]

Well for good or bad I found out the place and adjoining property has been put up for sale. This might be yet another ploy. Hard to say if she is "playing it straight."

Might be up for sale as she wants to buy it, FINE Make a good deal and I'm fine

Might be that she thinks having it for sale might stop court action, she may have heard I'm thumping the war drums

One caveat is that the listing says "the owner will consider an owner contract." I have news. THIS owner will NOT consider an "owner contract."


Only outside views of the house and property, and the newly "repaired" dining and living room are shown. No upstairs, no basement, and no garage interior photos. Not even the kitchen, I guess the floor is still torn up, nor the downstairs bedroom or bath

Here is the listing:

10404 W Pine Street Sandpoint ID 83864 | MLS# 18-1285 | Windermere

If you look close, you can see the "used to be stained wood now painted" door still has the hole where the fire on the porch burned through

Looks marvelous. Those used to be stained wood finish moldings my Dad worked hard to make them. Now they are just painted

Looking out SW

New flooring and paint covers a lot

All this you see was built by Dad. This is dining room, bay window, and china hutch all scratch built

The old chicken house my old "ham shack" dah di dah dit dah dah di dah

The view W--SW

If you look close on the left you can see the black Dakota.....parked there....according to my nephew...."to establish my dominance"

I guess this is to the north and north of the barn, "the back field"

The much neglected barn. My "formerly known as my sister" did not feel the need to have the roof repaired. One good hard day by two guys with ladders and harnesses, and a few boxes of screws would have saved all this. What, 2-400 bucks labor?

 

[Ddaddy]

Get a lawyer and put them in the middle of it. My younger sister was stealing from my fathers estate and manipulating him to do things for him while he was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.

She forged checks and stole directly from his accounts, hundreds of thousands of dollars. My father was smart enough to have put a lawyer in charge of the estate management before this so we were able to box her in and push her into a corner. She had to repay a bunch and the rest came out of her inheritance. She will never get so much as a dime from here on out.

Point is, you need a lawyer, and need one now...before the others can create enough chaos and uncertainty to achieve their ends. Step back and let the lawyer do the work while you stay disconnected from the fight.

It’s the only way to win.

 

[67Dart273]

^^That is one huge reason I went back to work part time. The problem is PROVING anything substantial so far as the house/ property being up for sale. It is obvious it has been run down, complicated by the fall and rise of real estate since '08

 

[67dartgtgo]

Sorry to hear Del. Sounds like a bad show for sure....
We’re def feeling your pain.
Sometimes that money stuff makes people become evil. I hate to say it but seems common among lots of woman mostly. Just my experience.
It’s a great reason for older folks to have a trust and an executor that can be trusted.

 

[Ddaddy]

^^That is one huge reason I went back to work part time. The problem is PROVING anything substantial so far as the house/ property being up for sale. It is obvious it has been run down, complicated by the fall and rise of real estate since '08

The fight is over the gross mismanagement of the estate and not the details of what has been done. A good lawyer will know where to sink their teeth and get the most out of the bite they take.

 

[Tooljunkie]

I hav a friend who’s father has dimentia. This man was a well respected businessman that owned a large air service in the area.
He sold everything a few years back,10 or so aircraft,outpost camps and a beautiful fishing lodge. Plus the hangar and all the equipment.
Now his daughters are administrating his life.
Is a sad state of affairs,and im almost embarassed to say im her friend at this point.
He’s in a home,and they rarely visit.
A good friend of his,takes him out every weekend,and was on the contact list if there was a problem. Girls had his name removed,and told staff they were to not call him.

So they seem to be doing fine while the man that built an empire of sorts is locked up in a nursing home. Oh,he built his empire from scratch and was self educated.

 

[LocuMob]

I hav a friend who’s father has dimentia. This man was a well respected businessman that owned a large air service in the area.
He sold everything a few years back,10 or so aircraft,outpost camps and a beautiful fishing lodge. Plus the hangar and all the equipment.
Now his daughters are administrating his life.
Is a sad state of affairs,and im almost embarassed to say im her friend at this point.
He’s in a home,and they rarely visit.
A good friend of his,takes him out every weekend,and was on the contact list if there was a problem. Girls had his name removed,and told staff they were to not call him.

So they seem to be doing fine while the man that built an empire of sorts is locked up in a nursing home. Oh,he built his empire from scratch and was self educated.

That's love. I realize the battle I might have with my sisters is who will help me throw out all the junk.