My POS sister

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67Dart273

67Dart273

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My estranged sister, unfortunately, is executor of the family estate. All she had to do is follow the document, Mom and Dad's wishes and settle the thing. It's become fairly obvious (more than 10 years now) she's hoping "I'll just die" and she will get it.

This is partly why I took on a part time job.........to hire a lawyer and haul her *** into court.

The Scamp body I'm selling is "up there" in the barn for a place to put it. A Spokane guy has been paying for it, now paid. We are (were) going up Thursday to pick it up and tow it to his place

So I called my old friend and neighbor up there, 'down the street.' "Hey Jay.....etc....thought we could grab a burger........

"You haven't heard? There's complications.........Someone started a fire on the front porch and BURNED THROUGH THE DECK, and broke into the back bedroom window, and SEEMS to have started a small fire in the house, "then put it out???"

EVIDENTLY MY POS SISTER DID NOT THINK THIS WAS A SERIOUS ENOUGH OCCURANCE TO KEEP ME INFORMED!!!!

I'm going to have to call the sheriff up there tomorrow and see if I can crowbar some info out of them. A deputy told me late tonight "it's an ongoing investigation." Well, at least SOMEONE is paying attention!!!
 
Sounds like she is a jewel, Del. Did you put a frog down her back when you were kids? (Just kidding... I know this is burning you up...)
 
I don't know about Idaho but in Texas the executor of the estate has 7 years to comply with the estate will. After 7 years a judge will ask that the executor (executrix) to appear before the court to show all documentation showing how all the assets were distributed. 7 years is all they get in Texas....it is not an open ended proposition otherwise the executor could simply hold on to everything until everyone else dies???

Treblig
 
I have found no specific time limit in Idaho law, but then, that's why I'm currently "saving up." There IS language in there that talks about "moving steadily forward" to settle an estate, which is not happening, and "fair" to the beneficiaries, which I think would be fairly easy to prove "not."

Thing is, before my Mom went downhill and sister got her power of attorney, things were "pretty swell." Suddenly my opinion, what should be done, etc, not only did not matter, but she doesn't want to hear it.

Renters that were in the place some time ago basically turned the house into an "island in a corral." The erected electric fence all around the house and had HORSES in. The porch at the time had about a ton of horse tack, bridles, saddles, etc, and they had been "launching" horse riding from the front porch.

She has NEVER kept me informed of rent income, debt from repairs, whether the property and other taxes are "actually getting paid" or anything else.

I could go on.

This will get ugly. If I had any reservations about beating her over the head with a lawyer earlier, this break in and fire deal squelches that. I don't know what sort of catastrophe she would think serious enough to warrant letting me know
 
Sorry to hear Bro, seems like every family has at least one, I may be one of the lucky ones......then again things change........................
 
We're praying for you , Del.
 
I can tell you through my experience as a trusty in a guardianship over my invalid cousins estate, executor in my parents estate as well as my sisters estate. That you have no idea how evil, hateful, unscrupulous family members can be. Death and assets, no matter how big or small the estate may be, it never goes easy. This is why I tell anyone that will listen to me to give their assets away while they are alive and leave nothing to chance. It is sad but true.
 
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67Dart273 said:
My estranged sister, unfortunately, is executor of the family estate. All she had to do is follow the document, Mom and Dad's wishes and settle the thing. It's become fairly obvious (more than 10 years now) she's hoping "I'll just die" and she will get it.

This is partly why I took on a part time job.........to hire a lawyer and haul her *** into court.

The Scamp body I'm selling is "up there" in the barn for a place to put it. A Spokane guy has been paying for it, now paid. We are (were) going up Thursday to pick it up and tow it to his place

So I called my old friend and neighbor up there, 'down the street.' "Hey Jay.....etc....thought we could grab a burger........

"You haven't heard? There's complications.........Someone started a fire on the front porch and BURNED THROUGH THE DECK, and broke into the back bedroom window, and SEEMS to have started a small fire in the house, "then put it out???"

EVIDENTLY MY POS SISTER DID NOT THINK THIS WAS A SERIOUS ENOUGH OCCURANCE TO KEEP ME INFORMED!!!!

I'm going to have to call the sheriff up there tomorrow and see if I can crowbar some info out of them. A deputy told me late tonight "it's an ongoing investigation." Well, at least SOMEONE is paying attention!!!
Click to expand...
Man yours is a story I have encountered to many times in my life from other friends in my life. 10 Years? Hire a lawyer, or walk away from it all. The stress can only ruin your health!
 
Sorry to hear that.That's why We have a living trust set up for our 6 kids.One Daughter is the executor but it's written in the trust that it must be dispersed in a defined time frame.Of course that doesn't help you a damn bit...Good luck.
 
A lawyer WILL get hired, assuming "nothing happens to me." At 69, LOL that is not easy to "beat." This IS a living trust, written in a time when we got along great.

This is also complicated by the fact that it is TWO legally separate pieces of real estate. Originally, "the place" was nominally 40 acres. In my Dad's teen years Dad and Gramps built the "new house" in about '35. When I was 6, Dad and Mom bought 10 acres and the house, leaving Gramps the rest, who, in about 65 built his retirement home. When Gramps died, my Aunt's family got his retirement home and a small acreage, and we got the rest of the land, so now there is the house + 10, and Gramps land of about 25 acres.

ALL of this should be sold as one big place. You should see the layout to understand why. Not only would this approach maximise it's worth, but it leaves the house protected from "right next door" development. It also creates an isolated place less than a mile from home that would allow you to "imagine" that you are maybe 20 miles out in the country.

Of course she does not want to do this, either.
 
NEVER FORGET..........Carma is a "*****"!!! THIS IS THE SHORT VERSION:

My Sister is the executrix of my Dad's estate (to this day). My Dad passed about 5 years ago. He left behind his Savings and checking account, all his possessions, his house (paid off) and a rental house. My Sister took it upon herself to keep everything secret. She wouldn't even let us into my Dad's house for months after his death. She did let her sons live there and go through my Dads things. She went through my Dads things and eventually (about 5 months later) the other siblings got to go into the house to see what was left. It was obvious that someone had torn the place apart by the time the rest of us got in there. My Dad grew up during the depression so he never threw away anything, in fact he collected many valuable things, knives, guns, gold, coins, etc. My Dad worked very hard all his life and saved his money. My Sister somehow got her name on his bank account and (as per the law) was entitled to all the money in his account even though the "will" said to divide everything equally. Luckily my Dad had another account from which we all received 30K each. My Dad also had a government retirement (my Sister had no control over that money) from which we all received 17K each. My Sister rented out my Dad's house (we had no say in the matter). We all wanted her to sell my Dad's house (and the rental house) so we could settle the estate. She rented the rental house to her daughter who never paid rent. My Sister used the rent money from my Dad's house to fix up the rental house for her daughter (rent free)!! We were all very angry. Eventually her daughter moved out and I convinced my Sister to rent the house to my Nephew....It wasn't easy but I talked her into it. I knew that as long as she had the rental house under her thumb that she would continue to use the rental money from my Dad's house as she pleased (that way we would never get anything).
Now the Carma part!!!!!! My Sister's husband used all the money $45K that my Sister got to pay off his new Corvette and buy guns for himself then he divorced my Sister. She ended up with NOTHING!!! Then she started "crying" to all of us about how she had been screwed and how she was desolate. I felt bad for her but like I said...Carma is a *****!!
Long story short I convinced her to sell my Dad's house so we could all benefit and so that she wouldn't have to keep records (she hated that part because she didn't like having to account for everything). I made it clear to her that in 7 years she would have to account for every penny and every transaction. I also convinced her to sell the other rental house (the one he was renting) to my Nephew....I did this to get the rental house away from her. Once my Nephew bought the rental house she started sending us equal portions of the house payment from my Dad's house (now that it was sold).
We still don't know where a lot of the money went because she won't tell us and she still keeps a lot of stuff secret BUT we are all getting a check for $450 each month until my Dad's house gets paid off and we all (except my Sister) have the $45K we got initially.
I created an Excell spreadsheet to keep track of the monies that she has been paying out and how much is owed on my Dad's house. Once she found out about the spreadsheet she asked for copy. Knowing that she has no idea how to keep track of the estate I sent her a copy of the spreadsheet. Now she depends on me to keep track of the estate monies and tells me that she wishes that I had been made the executor of the will.
As least now I have some control and we are all getting some money but it took over 2 years to get to this point and it took a lot of conniving on my part. I had to collude with the other siblings so that they would not interfere with what I was trying to do so that we could all benefit.
So Remember....Carma is a *****!!

Treblig
 
Treblig said:
NEVER FORGET..........Carma is a "*****"!!! THIS IS THE SHORT VERSION:

My Sister is the executrix of my Dad's estate (to this day). My Dad passed about 5 years ago. He left behind his Savings and checking account, all his possessions, his house (paid off) and a rental house. My Sister took it upon herself to keep everything secret. She wouldn't even let us into my Dad's house for months after his death. She did let her sons live there and go through my Dads things. She went through my Dads things and eventually (about 5 months later) the other siblings got to go into the house to see what was left. It was obvious that someone had torn the place apart by the time the rest of us got in there. My Dad grew up during the depression so he never threw away anything, in fact he collected many valuable things, knives, guns, gold, coins, etc. My Dad worked very hard all his life and saved his money. My Sister somehow got her name on his bank account and (as per the law) was entitled to all the money in his account even though the "will" said to divide everything equally. Luckily my Dad had another account from which we all received 30K each. My Dad also had a government retirement (my Sister had no control over that money) from which we all received 17K each. My Sister rented out my Dad's house (we had no say in the matter). We all wanted her to sell my Dad's house (and the rental house) so we could settle the estate. She rented the rental house to her daughter who never paid rent. My Sister used the rent money from my Dad's house to fix up the rental house for her daughter (rent free)!! We were all very angry. Eventually her daughter moved out and I convinced my Sister to rent the house to my Nephew....It wasn't easy but I talked her into it. I knew that as long as she had the rental house under her thumb that she would continue to use the rental money from my Dad's house as she pleased (that way we would never get anything).
Now the Carma part!!!!!! My Sister's husband used all the money $45K that my Sister got to pay off his new Corvette and buy guns for himself then he divorced my Sister. She ended up with NOTHING!!! Then she started "crying" to all of us about how she had been screwed and how she was desolate. I felt bad for her but like I said...Carma is a *****!!
Long story short I convinced her to sell my Dad's house so we could all benefit and so that she wouldn't have to keep records (she hated that part because she didn't like having to account for everything). I made it clear to her that in 7 years she would have to account for every penny and every transaction. I also convinced her to sell the other rental house (the one he was renting) to my Nephew....I did this to get the rental house away from her. Once my Nephew bought the rental house she started sending us equal portions of the house payment from my Dad's house (now that it was sold).
We still don't know where a lot of the money went because she won't tell us and she still keeps a lot of stuff secret BUT we are all getting a check for $450 each month until my Dad's house gets paid off and we all (except my Sister) have the $45K we got initially.
I created an Excell spreadsheet to keep track of the monies that she has been paying out and how much is owed on my Dad's house. Once she found out about the spreadsheet she asked for copy. Knowing that she has no idea how to keep track of the estate I sent her a copy of the spreadsheet. Now she depends on me to keep track of the estate monies and tells me that she wishes that I had been made the executor of the will.
As least now I have some control and we are all getting some money but it took over 2 years to get to this point and it took a lot of conniving on my part. I had to collude with the other siblings so that they would not interfere with what I was trying to do so that we could all benefit.
So Remember....Carma is a *****!!

Treblig
Click to expand...
This reinforces my comment about giving your worldly possessions away while you are alive and in control of your OWN estate! Leave nothing to chance. Case in point a very good friend of mines , mother passed away. But before she did, she pre paid her funeral expenses, pre paid the burial plot and wrote a check to each of 5 children a check for 30,000.00. Handed family mementos to the child she wanted to have When she passed she had about 1500.00 in her account. It was the most well thought out pre arrangement I have ever seen.
 
Feel for you.
Got a good friend going thru something similar.
Mike lives check to check, he's had health issues since we were kids. His mother got to the point she was placed into a nursing home. In the meantime Mikes brother moved his daughter and her family into the house. When his mother did finally pass, the estate was to be settled. The niece lived in the house another 4 or 5 years. Mike had to move from the hole he was in. He told his brother that he was moving back into his parents house. (His mother always said Mike would have a place as long as the house was in the family) Mikes niece decided that Mike couldn't be there if she was and the decision was made the house was to be sold. It was, and when it came time for Mike to get his 1/2, well that never happened.
Not sure of all the finer details, but I'm under the impression that the niece got the money from the sale to help pay for her new home.
The person who told me that, said that Mikes brother did it so that Mike couldn't go back to the house.
As I said earlier, Mike was born with some health issues, he was the baby and because of his health his mother spoiled him. Mike wasn't expected to live past 7-10 years. He goes to dialysis a couple times a week, and his out of pocket is unreal. He truly wanted to be on his own. At the time his going back to his parents house was a matter of him buying meds or not. I've been to Mikes home, pretty sure its a government owned place. It's not much, basically 1 big room, a bath and a small bedroom.
I guess his brother is getting his version of payback for his mom spoiling his baby brother.
 
SGBARRACUDA said:
This reinforces my comment about giving your worldly possessions away while you are alive and in control of your OWN estate! Leave nothing to chance. Case in point a very good friend of mines , mother passed away. But before she did, she pre paid her funeral expenses, pre paid the burial plot and wrote a check to each of 5 children a check for 30,000.00. Handed family mementos to the child she wanted to have When she passed she had about 1500.00 in her account. It was the most well thought out pre arrangement I have ever seen.
Click to expand...

I couldn't agree more on this Roy, as my Mother and Father both passed away a couple of years ago, but before they did they put my younger Brother as an owner of everything and in charge of selling everything off and distributing their assets as they wished.
We (the kids) all agreed in advance that he should be the one in charge, and he did it to the letter.

On my Wife's side when her parents passed away, not so much and I'll leave it at that.:D
 
Well it sounds like it was neighborhood underage girls. "Maybe." But I got a pdf of the sheriff report tonight and my so called nephew did his best to try and shove the blame at me. This is an official document. He may find his *** in court for slander!!!
 
TrailBeast said:
I couldn't agree more on this Roy, as my Mother and Father both passed away a couple of years ago, but before they did they put my younger Brother as an owner of everything and in charge of selling everything off and distributing their assets as they wished.
We (the kids) all agreed in advance that he should be the one in charge, and he did it to the letter.

On my Wife's side when her parents passed away, not so much and I'll leave it at that.:D
Click to expand...
Your younger brother is one of a honorable breed! He must be a hell of a man. You don't usually hear of someone doing right by other family members. Kudos to Him
 
well i've seen what family member will do for control of there parents estate(s) moms and dads . had friends and family that thought their share was a right . thats not true at all . when moneys involved , it can be hell for all involved . my dads 86 and has a living trust in his safe . tells me that its all done , his plot , casket , viewing deal , ect... all ready paid for and waiting , so no lose ends . and his attorney will tell us about how he wants it done . well its his stuff , he has worked , saved , invested in his whole working life for this .
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so i honor that . we talk about the rentals along with live , i maintain them for him , collect the rent payments , bank it as he wants for him . i feel good about doing what ever i can for him , after all dad n mom , did raise me and i learned must all i know from them and i work with and for him though the years . even at @ 62 i'm still his son . and yes thats him and his lady friend barbara on his 86st b day 14th of feb 2017 , and i'm behind the camera . so his 87th is just a few months away .
 
Mom should read this. She has a plan, sell house, divide the proceeds.i have invited her to live with us when she sells. Wants to pay rent, but not sure how to deal with that.
Need to build a ramp,no wheelchair but will be easy for mom to walk up.
I asked that all the stuff that has no sentimental value and isnt needed be sold. Mom got rid of lots. Gave her nice mower to neighbour, he cuts the grass.

You have quite the predicament,i hope it gets ironed out before too long.
 
I feel everybody's pain. My sister was the oldest of 6 kids, so she was in charge of the estate. Within 48 hours of my mother's death, I had already caught her with her fingers in the till several times with credit cards and the checking account. Unknown to us at the time, she and her husband had become addicted to gambling and were in the process of pissing their lives away. In fact, they eventually wound up losing EVERYTHING. Mom had a safe Deposit box and my sister said she could not find the key. I told her REPEATEDLY NOT to go to the bank and open the safe deposit box by herself. On the evening of the third day after my mom died, my sister showed up at the sibling meeting (late and drunk) with a few papers and said, "this is all that was in the safe deposit box". We were all fuming. As second oldest, I told my sister she was DONE as executor of the will. All 5 other siblings agreed, but I had to hire a lawyer and get their signatures. There probably would have been nothing left if I had not taken over. I kept track of everything to the penny. I gave the lawyer such an elaborate spreadsheet balanced to the penny that he said he was amazed. My wife and I were VERY close to my sister and her husband before that, but rarely saw each other afterwards. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT!?!?!?
 
A friend told me his sister has been married 7 times! Says she's a good housekeeper....

I asked "if she's a good housekeeper why has she been married 7 times" ?

He said " you dont understand..... She has kept 7 houses! "
 
SGBARRACUDA said:
Your younger brother is one of a honorable breed! He must be a hell of a man. You don't usually hear of someone doing right by other family members. Kudos to Him
Click to expand...

He is, and always has been good on his word just like the rest of my family (except one)
He had the entire amount from the sale of our Parents house and property in his own personal bank account and showed up in person at each of our places with cash.
My family hardly ever has disagreements that even so much as get loud, and when we do we agree to disagree and go on.
We are and always have been straight and honest with each other.
Boy oh boy, not the Wife's family.:D
They don't trust each other for nothing, and for good reason.
My Wife of 28 years (Stephanie) is the exception.
 
After witnessing what a friend went through with his one brother, one sister, just like me,,, I instructed my parents to take me out of their will. I want absolutely nothing to do with any of it.
 
A side "benefit" to this story is something a friend told me the other night over this. If someone gets hurt, etc, generates liability due to that house / property, then "I" as an "owner" CAN BE SUED for liability. I'm more anxious than ever, now, to get this settled. Bear in mind I have no problem with her buying it (buying the rest of us out) if she would only DO that

It also occurred, not necessarily this fire, that she is intentionally letting it go downhill some so she can buy it cheaper...................

(House is old enough it needs renovation, rewired, etc anyway)
 
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