Need some words of encouragement..

-
70DartMike

70DartMike

Too many projects
Joined
Jul 17, 2007
Messages
7,825
Reaction score
1,244
Location
Vancouver Island, Canada
I am just posting this before I go to work today, I had a somewhat terrible evening.

The girlfriend told me she is leaving me for another guy, a guy who I know, and a guy who knows how much I love her. She also said she has started doing coke, for about a week now. She also said she was going to give up on raising her daughter, and give her daughter to the daughter's grandparents. When I got upset, she told me she was sorry, but that this was all for the better. Obviously I cannot understand how this is for any better, we were doing so good, or at least I thought. Then later on, she was crying, and told me she is tired of letting everyone down all the time, and told me this was the last time I would be talking to her. When I asked what she meant, she said she was going to end her life tonight. I begged her not to, told her how much she meant to everyone, to me, but she wouldn't listen to any of it and hung up on me, then wouldn't answer the phone again. I pray that she will be safe, and re think all this through.
One of the hardest parts is, her 4 year old daughter was just beginning to trust me enough to call me 'Papa'.
 
Thoughts & prayers for you.
You need to act quickly, contact the grandparents & make sure that the 4 year old is safe. See if they will work with you on getting help for the mother. The new habit is not going to lead to any good things.
Stay strong, Lawrence
 
Without knowing the whole story, if it was me, I'd call her parents and let them know what is going on. They may be able to convince her to get some help. You might not be able to save the relationship, but be able to prevent her daughter from growing up without a mother. Coke will make you do some real stupid ****. Sounds like she needs professional help and fast. Who knows, you help her through this, she might realize what she's got to lose and stay with you.
 
Sorry, dump her sorry ***,she is doing coke now dump her plain and simple.I know its hard to carry on but you will.Coke is a bad thing all coke heads cry I am going to kill myself untill they snort anouther line than its party time again.My next door buddy had a business of his own ,owned a house.Then came Brook with in 3 years she got him hook on coke and now he sold his house lost his business and sleeps were he can o ya he got off the coke but were is brook with anouther coke head.I know I am being tough but there is better Gals in this world.Good luck.
 
Prayers sent for your girlfriend and her daughter and all of you. Your former girlfriend is a very troubled lady who needs professional help. All the love you have for her won't fix her. Her family needs to be told about the situation ASAP.
 
I dont have words to say what you should do, cause I dont know only you do. But what I can do is pray that you have the strength to do the right thing and make sure that little girl and her momma are OK.
 
I think for the most part you have already been given good sound advice. Your relationship may be over, and it's very possible that is a good thing? However you need to first, through her other family members or law enforcement get that little girl in a safe stable home. This "girlfriend" needs help as well. It is quite possible the only way you can help is contacting like I said the police and or human services/child service agency in your community or county.

Good Luck
 
What ever you do, do NOT call children services. That little girl would be much better off being raised by the family or you. It seems like you put alot of work into getting the little one to trust you. Just try to think straight and don't let your emotions get the best of you. Do what ever is needed to give that child a good home. I also said a prayer for you and everyone involved.
 
VDART said:
Thoughts & prayers for you.
You need to act quickly, contact the grandparents & make sure that the 4 year old is safe. See if they will work with you on getting help for the mother. The new habit is not going to lead to any good things.
Stay strong, Lawrence
Click to expand...


I agree!!!!
 
One week on coke is nothing. Problem is most wont stop till they hit bottom. Tell your friend about the suicide threats. Maybe he will at least not support the coke problem. When I was young I did so much of that **** I oughta be dead. Somehow I found my way out of the life though. One thing I know is that as long as she,s not on the pipe or crank theres still hope. People are gonna be who they are so all you can do is offer support and not for the habit. If she,s smoking rock cut your ties and move on now.
 
Sad situation you are in, all I can offer is prayers for those involved. Do what you can for the lil' one and move on.I wouldn't share any advice with mr new guy...let him have the surprise
 
My prayers sent to you and your girls. It sounds like your girlfriend needs professional help to solve her issues. She has to love herself before she can love anyone else. It sounds like she's doing the right thing for her daughter for now by sending her to the grandparents. She needs to know you will be there to support her through this.
 
Get far, far away after you are sure that her daughter is safe with her grandparents. This is how it starts, low self-esteem, getting high to avoid life's problems, coming down and the problems are worse, getting high again, etc. It's a vicious never ending circle until she hits "rock bottom" as another member said. Don't let her drag you in, she'll have to figure it out for herself.
 
best bud from years ago was a coke head. make matters worse he had a job that the boss did not care if he stole a bit every day out of the register, boss was busted for gun running and several other things and Dave lost his job. one thing led to another and my buddy ended up robbing a gas station. the guy was so our of it he returned to the same gas station a few hours later to buy gas. should add that Dave had the only bright yellow with black stripes nova in the area. when they came to arrest my buddy, a fellow friends dad was the arresting officer. Dave did his time, got out and made something of his life. I have not spoken to him in years. i do know that when he was high, he did not care who he hurt. so be careful in any dealing s you may have with her. do you best to get the kid out of there. but i would say it is time to turn and walk away......
 
Wow Mike that is a lot deal with, and you are obvious;y a very strong person to be able to talk about it and eal with it, good for you. I have known a few people in my past who did coke, and it really messes up their reality. Right now she is not thinking straight at all. I think you need to get others involved to help her and most of all the daughter. Being a teacher I have seen what happens to the children when drugs and alcohol become part of a family. You got a ton to deal with man, but don't do it all yourself. Good luck!
 
Sounds like she's been using you from the start, but she just don't like the rules and structure.
I have seen girls like this my whole life, and it sucks to see the kids torn apart of this crap, but your best bet is to get the hell away from the whole situation and run like hell.
I'm sure this is no suprize to the Grandmother either.

I have seen these Women latch on to new, good guys and totally suck the life right out of them, and they usually use their kids as pawns to get the guys to give them nice stuff and help them get out of a hole they dug themselves into, then when they get some stability and things get calmed down, they go start looking for another victim because the structure is killing them and they want to act like a kid again.
It's all feel good for her right now with Mr. cocain supplier, but the party won't last long and hopefully you will have severed your ties with her and moved on.
I say good riddence especially if she is tainted by some other dude.

Don't go breaking the guys legs either because eventually she will have sucked the life blood out of him too.

One thing I have learned in my travels is to never date a Woman that broke up with someone just to date another.
They tire easily and can't hold down a relationship.

Add drugs to that mix and you have yourself an ongoing Jerry Springer lifestyle.

I am really hoping the threats she made were just talk, but it sounds like she feels bad but the drugs have a hold on her right now.

As much as you would love to beat this guy up, I would maybe talk to him because you are concerned about the threats she made on her life, and see what his reaction is.
If he really gives a crap about her, he will be just as concerned right?

If he's not, then maybe you should tell her what his reaction was, maybe even record your conversation because we all how how druggies lie through their teeth.

It sucks man, but I still say get the hell away from her.

I hate to see people detroy their lives like this especially with kids involved.
She can't get any help unless she wants to, and it has to be her decision, but the suicide threats may be enough for the stste to step in and that may affect the situation with the daughter, and Mom may get some mandated help...dunno the rules in your state on that stuff but if the child is being neglected and drugs are involved, the state will step in and usually give Gramma or next of Kin first option on custody.
 
My Wife's cousin has a 1 year old Son, baby's Daddy was supportive throughout the prgnancy until the child was born about ten shades darker than expected which propted the eager new Dad to cut ties right on the spot.

THe young Mother bounces from one guy to the next and whomever has the lartgest stash of drugs..... wins!.... yay!
She has not been home for a month or she will pop in from time to time to pilfer her Mom's house while she's at work.

The Aunt finally changed the locks and is filing for a retraining order and custody of the child since the Daughter is nowhere to be found, until she runs out of "fun."

This will be an interesting drama story and just one of many that I've seen.
 
I'm very sorry to hear that Mike. My prayers are with you and her and her little girl. Coke can do crazy things to people but like someone said, a week on it isn't much but it can spiral down hill pretty quickly. When I met her in May she seemed like a nice girl although she seemed kind of nervous of me for some reason.
 
I'd bet my bottom dollar that she hasn't been on coke for only a week. I too have spent considerable time and $$$ on the stuff in my distant past, and it was only when I turned it from my best friend to my enemy that I was able to move on. There is nothing you can say or do that will change her mind against coke or her decisions, but if it were me and you got the chance to talk to her again, tell her that you care deeply about her and her safety, and especially about her daughter. Do not try to change her mind or try to win her back, just let her be aware that there are people out there who actually care about HER, not just her body or the party. I hope that you are strong and most of all forgiving, coke is way more powerful than love or feelings, at least to someone who is hooked on it's power. Just know that it's not your fault, the coke is to blame. Until she puts her daughter first in her life, she will battle this scenario over and over. Good luck to you and especially to her and her daughter. Damn cocaine, I hate it more than ever, Geof
 
sorry for your problems...but life is about making choices...and she made her choice..drugs..

time for you to make your choice and find someone who wants you and not coke...
 
waggin said:
Sad situation you are in, all I can offer is prayers for those involved. Do what you can for the lil' one and move on.I wouldn't share any advice with mr new guy...let him have the surprise
Click to expand...


What waggin said and ditto.

How long have you been with this woman?

I had a friend that put his girl friend in treatment at the best places he could find a total 3 of times to help her. He made big money as the owner of a hot roofing company because he did Walmarts and USPS buildings and he paid for all of it out of his pocket.
She did both coke and iv drugs. After the 3rd time she was still into the drugs and she told him that she was going to continue and if he was going to be with her he had to do the drugs too. Stupid jacka@@ followed the lead and in less than a year he was dead found with a needle in him arm.

Do everything you can for the child but what ever you do don't let your girlfriend drag you down with her. No woman is worth that price.
 
Prayers for all involved,,,good choice on the F A B O thing!!tons of support for you.Never mind her,just make sure that little sweety is safe!!Little ones can be scarred for life from exposure to that lifestyle....good luck bro
 
Dang, Mike, that's crappy.

Is this the same girl that I met at the car show? Didn't seem like the type, but who's to know?

Like many others here, I have been down that road as well. Lost a whack of cash, but fortunately no serious repercussions. I had already sold my house after the divorce, but blew all of the money (pun intended).

Coke is bad. Don't trust anything that comes out of the mouth of a user. It's all a lie. Their only quest is more coke. You wouldn't believe some of the crap that they will pull.

If you need to talk, PM me your number so that I can call you on my dime.

Hope all works out for you. And the kid.
 
Make sure the daughter is safe and the hell with the girlfriend. Rehab usually doesn't work and the cost of failure is to high. Bid her farewell, secure your home and belongings, she will be back to rob you to support her habbits. Don't waste your time trying to turn her life around. Been there.
 
Comoxian said it all Mike I am surprised to hear that little sweetie you brought to the shows would turn left that hard on you but as a guy who rehabbed , married and restored custody and parented the kids of a Coke head /Cracker I can tell you whatever is wrong is wrong with her and anything you do will only be a temp fix until she feels safe and secure enough to go left on you again , took me 15 years a house 2 cars and a Jet ski {but i'm not bitter } to figure that out , Learn from all our mistakes, do what needs to be done for the little girl and walk on bro , call me if you need to talk-Chris
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
-

Back
Top