Needing a place to live......

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65BCODA

65BCODA

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Things have been kinda tense between my wife and I and we haven't been intimate for a long time.
Well, I guess she had enough and sent me to the drug store to get some medicine to help me get an erection.


So I bought her some diet pills. Any suggestions on a new place to live?



To get back in the door, bought her something that goes 0 to 200 in less than 60 seconds and left it in the driveway.
When she went out to look at it, locked the door before she realized it was a scale..........
 
TMM...Believe me, if it were true, damn sure wouldn't be posting for internet sympathy / counseling.......
 
My wife left a note on the refridgerator that said,

"This is not working . . .
I've had enough. I'm going to my mother's house ! "

I opened the door . . .
not only did the light come on, but the beer was cold.

I still haven't figured out what she was talking about.
 
A guy brings his best buddy home for dinner.

His wife screams, "You idiot! My hair & makeup aren't done, the house is a mess, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!

Why the hell did you bring him home?"

"Cause he's thinking of getting married.".............
 
65BCODA said:
A guy brings his best buddy home for dinner.

His wife screams, "You idiot! My hair & makeup aren't done, the house is a mess, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!

Why the hell did you bring him home?"

"Cause he's thinking of getting married.".............
Click to expand...

Bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
 
Last night by wife told me to whisper dirty things in her ear. So I said...

the dishes...

the living room...

my laundry...

Yup, slept the night on the porch.
 
What food has been known to kill a woman's sexual drive???


Wedding cake...
 
I took my ex-wife in for a brain scan.


The results came back negative.....
 
Oh Crapp I'm gonna have to make room in the dawghouse..gittin tight in there "Dodger" started draggin home toy's
65BCODA said:
Things have been kinda tense between my wife and I and we haven't been intimate for a long time.
Well, I guess she had enough and sent me to the drug store to get some medicine to help me get an erection.


So I bought her some diet pills. Any suggestions on a new place to live?



To get back in the door, bought her something that goes 0 to 200 in less than 60 seconds and left it in the driveway.
When she went out to look at it, locked the door before she realized it was a scale..........
Click to expand...
 

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Ya know why women wear white wedding dresses?
So the dishwasher matches the fridge.
 
Snake said:
He snit doing something right,send her to a real man I WILL FIX HER UP FOR YA.
Click to expand...

Last I heard you can't even get a woman you paid to talk to you....LOL:toothy7:


DISSSSSSCLAIMER: Jussst having fun with ya.......
 
waggin said:
Oh Crapp I'm gonna have to make room in the dawghouse..gittin tight in there "Dodger" started draggin home toy's
Click to expand...


That motorcycle looks like Dodger is gonna hop on it and go for a ride!!! Just his size.

What's up Waggs???
 
65BCODA said:
Last I heard you can't even get a woman you paid to talk to you....LOL:toothy7:


DISSSSSSCLAIMER: Jussst having fun with ya.......
Click to expand...

lmao so true:wack:the good thing tho i would rather she dont talk just get down to businesssssssssssssssssssss
 
BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!
Wife - Do you want me to leave?
Husband - No! Don't even think about it.
Wife - Do you love me?
Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!
Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband - No! Why are you even asking?
Wife - Will you kiss me?
Husband - Every chance I get!
Wife - Will you hit me?
Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!
Wife - Can I trust you?
Husband - Yes.
Wife - Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.
 
If only we had the technology to create real stepford wives,you know drop dead gorgeous women with hooters that would shame Dolly Parton. Women who put out on demand,never want kids,can't put on weight and always have dinner ready,they'd also go out and work each day so we men could stay at home and work on our cars,watch tv and cheat on them with their friends.

Women have been taking advantage of men since the dawn of time.Whats great is how they're always complaining about men oppressing them. Go to a strip club sometime and watch what happens,you'll see a bunch of hard working men who were out in the sun all day tarring roads and working on construction sites willingly handing over their paychecks to a woman for just shaking her boobs! I ask you,who's really being exploited there?
 
Here are some more jokes!

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry her!

How are twisters like a marraige? they both beging with a lot of blowing and end up with you losing your house.

Why did God give women breasts? So men would talk to them!

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
 
Women are like guns...keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
 
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