The priest and the lemon

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Mark Wainwright

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A priest was sent out to a rural village because the old priest has passed away. He meets the local people, they all get to know each other. His first mass goes well, but after the ceremony a slim man in poor clothing approaches the priest and says, "Excuse me father, be kind, and please give me a half lemon."

The priest was kind and he gave him a half lemon. When he asked the man why he needs it, the slim man looked shocked and ran away in sheer panic. The priest thought it was weird, but proceeded with his day.

A week later after the mass, the same man asked the priest to be kind and give him a half lemon. The priest was kind and gave him a half lemon.

"Please, kind Sir, don't be afraid", said the priest, "You can tell me why you need a half lemon."

The man panicked again and ran away, but this time, the priest ran after him. They ran a mile when the priest couldn't catch up with him, so he decided to do some exercise for a week to build some cardio. He even bought running shoes.

A week later the same thing happened. Slim man told the priest to be kind and give him a half lemon. The priest thought to ask him first, but he didn't want to anger the man, he must have his reasons. He was kind, and gave him a half lemon. After asking the man ran away as before. But this time, the priest was prepared and he followed the him. After a few miles, the man reached a river, jumped in, and swam to the other side. The priest didn't want to get wet, so he gave up the chase. He bought a boat and hid it nearby.

The next week, the man approached the priest, "Excuse me Father, be kind, and please give me a half lemon."

The priest was kind and he gave the man half a lemon.

"Here you go, but for the love of God, tell me, what do you need the half lemon for?"

The slim man ran away, the priest went after him. He followed the man, when the man jumped in the river, the priest jumped into his boat and rowed to the other side. They ran uphill to a mountain, where the man started climbing the cliff wall without gear like a spider. The priest stared, and tried to follow him by sight. He tried to find a passage but couldn't find one. He decided to head back home and bought some climbing gear. He took cliff climbing lessons, even practiced on the same cliff in the hope to see the man, but he never did.

After the next mass the man approached him again:

"Excuse me father, be kind, and please give me a half lemon."

The priest was kind and he gave the man a half lemon. He asked why he needs it, to which the man ran away. The priest ran after him, the man jumped in the river, the priest rowed to the other side. They ran some more, and the man started to climb the cliff. The priest took his climbing gear out of the bushes, and started to climb after the man. He was slower than him, but managed to reach the top. He started to look after the man, but he lost sight. He was about to give up when he noticed an old wooden door behind a boulder. The priest opened the door, and saw faint lights in the end of a tunnel. He followed the light and lo and behold, the slim man was sitting at a table with a candle on it.

"All right," said the priest, "enough is enough! For the love of God and all that is Holy, be brave and tell me why you need that half lemon every week!"

"Okay, okay," said the slim man' "I am cornered! You win! I will tell you why I need the half lemon, but please, father, be kind, and don't tell anyone!"

And the priest was kind, and he didn't tell anyone
 
Booo.

Hisss.

I want my 45 seconds back.......again.

Do you know the one with "what was in the bag"?
 
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