True Stories From The Shop ... Men are So Funny

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CudaChick1968

CudaChick1968

Leanna ~ The Mistress of Metal
FABO Vendor
Joined
Jan 17, 2005
Messages
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Location
Greenfield, Tennessee
The Bikers

I was busy in the shop one day when a pickup truck parked out front and a couple ladies jumped out. Since women aren't a large customer base for me living here in The Bible Belt, I fully expected them to walk in and present me with religious pamphlets or something. Surprisingly, they were looking to get some parts coated for the matching Triumph motorcycles they were building.

Hers ... and hers.

Now Billy absolutely LOVES women. He'd flirt with your great-grandma if given the opportunity because that's just how he is. Apparently he saw them jump out of the truck because he was out in the shop within a few minutes of their arrival, working his usual ladymagic.

TRYING to work his usual ladymagic.

And failing miserably.

One would ask a question, he'd start to try to answer it, and they'd look at me. At 6'5 and 280 pounds, he's not easily ignored and isn't used to having it happen. But the lesbian bikers weren't interested in anything at all from him. It was hilarious! Frankly, I was glad to have him in there with me ... I may have predominantly male-related interests but I'm straight as an arrow and they kinda scared me.

After they decided to bring their bikes back when it warmed up some [probably any day now LOL] and left, the situation got even funnier. I had to eventually boot his butt outta the shop and send him back into the house because every time I'd look at him while I was trying to do my work, he'd open his mouth, stick his tongue out and wiggle it at me seductively. "Lezzzzz be friends baby!" OMG!!!!! Just go away and leave me alone.


The Boss

I'm busy in the shop when I hear motor noises in front. Put down the gun and crane my neck to look out the window where I see Billy's on the phone. Walking around the yard, steps, back porch, driveway, like he always does while chatting it up with his best friend Randy in Louisiana. They talk as long and often as teenage girls a few times a week. I also see a guy sitting in a pickup truck looking out the window towards Billy.

I walked out of the shop and went to his window asking if I could help him with something.

Looking me up and down, he said "I need to talk to him." [pointing]

"Okay." So I went back to work.

Probably at least a half hour later, I headed towards the house and there he is, still sitting there, now drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and chewing his lip. Billy is nowhere to be seen.

"Are you sure I can't help you with something?"

"Listen honeeeeey, I need to talk to the bossssss. Can you tell him please?" He was a total smart-azzed dick.

Then Billy comes out the basement door, still on the phone with Randy. We pass, I gesture towards the guy in the truck and continue on my way into the house.

I could've kissed Billy three minutes later when I returned to the shop and see them standing there.
"Baby, how much do you charge for a set of red and silver valve covers for a Jeep?"
​

Shocking

Before I went pro, I used to have a little cheesy Cummins Tool sale hobby-style powder coating gun. Anybody who's used one will tell you they aren't exactly the Coupe de Ville of the industry -- more like a 4-banger Pinto running on two cylinders. No electrical adjustments, minimal air pressure controls, overall crappy results unless you really know what you're doing.

Thinking about Billy's first attempt using it still cracks me up.

All proud of his blasting efforts on two little alternator brackets for his car, he chose and loaded up his powder, hooked the tremendous ground clip to one of the brackets, turned on the machine, pointed it about an inch from one bracket and pulled the trigger.

Fifty thousand kilovolts lit him up like a Christmas tree.

The gun -- traveling at maybe Mach V -- was the first thing that passed my head. The machine was hurled thirty feet across the shop, smashing into the wall into about six zillion pieces.

I can still see that poor little bracket flying through the air helplessly attached to the ground clip.

Needless to say, I have much better equipment now. :-D


I'm sure there's more. Add your own to the thread ... I know they're out there, and I'm sure ya'll have some funny stories about your girls too.
 
Your first story about the lesbian bikers and Billy standing behind them reminds me of when I worked at Midas.

As tech we were our own service writers. It was our job to talk to the customers and explain what was going on, try to sell the job, and then do the line work also.

We had a young lady come in, all 5 foot nothing of her. Very cute, wearing a push up bra, purple with lace. Yeah, you could see the top of her bra as well as the ripe, firm...well, you get the picture.

I'm not a tall guy, just 5'9", but still had to look down at her to speak to her. As I'm explaining to her what he car needed it's very hard to look her in the eye, what with those ripe, firm...well, you get the picture- and purple lace bra showing.

To make matters worse, she's the only customer at the moment. Two of the guys are lined up at the counter in the shop, watching another co-worker stand behind her, making pelvic thrusts, flicking his tongue, and generally being an ***, trying to get me to crack up. It was very hard to concentrate on her, as a customer, not look at the view she was giving me, and watch him standing there doing his thing and listening to the other two guys try not to bust up completely.

As she walked back into the waiting area I excused myself to go out
back and bust out, but not before I threw the clipboard at him.


We also had a woman come in who needed a ton of work done to her high dollar Asian SUV. She had smoked the brakes so bad that both front calipers were shot. The only thing clamping the rotor was the backings of all four pads up front and the rear brakes weren't working at all looking at the large ball of rust that were the rear rotors. So I quoted for C(alipers) P(pads) R(otors) all the way around, plus the added labor of the bleed time on the system. I also noticed that her oil change was due and a few other maintainence items.

I quoted her the price and she hemmed and hawed with the idea of the high price being that she was a woman and how could she be sure that I wasn't seeking to take advantage of the fact. Even after I showed her that the rear weren't working and that the fronts had basically locked up. So I haggled a bit. Took off the extra bleed time and told her I'd throw the oil change and air filter in for free. She needed brakes!

She started talking about the idea of taking the car and having her husband come back with her to go over the estimate.

Told her, that's fine. But if she did I'd charge her husband full price for everything. She quickly signed the estimate.
 
CudaChick1968 said:
The Bikers

I was busy in the shop one day when a pickup truck parked out front and a couple ladies jumped out. Since women aren't a large customer base for me living here in The Bible Belt, I fully expected them to walk in and present me with religious pamphlets or something. Surprisingly, they were looking to get some parts coated for the matching Triumph motorcycles they were building.

Hers ... and hers.

Now Billy absolutely LOVES women. He'd flirt with your great-grandma if given the opportunity because that's just how he is. Apparently he saw them jump out of the truck because he was out in the shop within a few minutes of their arrival, working his usual ladymagic.

TRYING to work his usual ladymagic.

And failing miserably.

One would ask a question, he'd start to try to answer it, and they'd look at me. At 6'5 and 280 pounds, he's not easily ignored and isn't used to having it happen. But the lesbian bikers weren't interested in anything at all from him. It was hilarious! Frankly, I was glad to have him in there with me ... I may have predominantly male-related interests but I'm straight as an arrow and they kinda scared me.

After they decided to bring their bikes back when it warmed up some [probably any day now LOL] and left, the situation got even funnier. I had to eventually boot his butt outta the shop and send him back into the house because every time I'd look at him while I was trying to do my work, he'd open his mouth, stick his tongue out and wiggle it at me seductively. "Lezzzzz be friends baby!" OMG!!!!! Just go away and leave me alone.


The Boss

I'm busy in the shop when I hear motor noises in front. Put down the gun and crane my neck to look out the window where I see Billy's on the phone. Walking around the yard, steps, back porch, driveway, like he always does while chatting it up with his best friend Randy in Louisiana. They talk as long and often as teenage girls a few times a week. I also see a guy sitting in a pickup truck looking out the window towards Billy.

I walked out of the shop and went to his window asking if I could help him with something.

Looking me up and down, he said "I need to talk to him." [pointing]

"Okay." So I went back to work.

Probably at least a half hour later, I headed towards the house and there he is, still sitting there, now drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and chewing his lip. Billy is nowhere to be seen.

"Are you sure I can't help you with something?"

"Listen honeeeeey, I need to talk to the bossssss. Can you tell him please?" He was a total smart-azzed dick.

Then Billy comes out the basement door, still on the phone with Randy. We pass, I gesture towards the guy in the truck and continue on my way into the house.

I could've kissed Billy three minutes later when I returned to the shop and see them standing there.
"Baby, how much do you charge for a set of red and silver valve covers for a Jeep?"
​

Shocking

Before I went pro, I used to have a little cheesy Cummins Tool sale hobby-style powder coating gun. Anybody who's used one will tell you they aren't exactly the Coupe de Ville of the industry -- more like a 4-banger Pinto running on two cylinders. No electrical adjustments, minimal air pressure controls, overall crappy results unless you really know what you're doing.

Thinking about Billy's first attempt using it still cracks me up.

All proud of his blasting efforts on two little alternator brackets for his car, he chose and loaded up his powder, hooked the tremendous ground clip to one of the brackets, turned on the machine, pointed it about an inch from one bracket and pulled the trigger.

Fifty thousand kilovolts lit him up like a Christmas tree.

The gun -- traveling at maybe Mach V -- was the first thing that passed my head. The machine was hurled thirty feet across the shop, smashing into the wall into about six zillion pieces.

I can still see that poor little bracket flying through the air helplessly attached to the ground clip.

Needless to say, I have much better equipment now. :-D


I'm sure there's more. Add your own to the thread ... I know they're out there, and I'm sure ya'll have some funny stories about your girls too.
Click to expand...

I think you have a good and better equipments. I am pretty sure that your new one will give you a better happiness. :D :sign10:
 
A little background.

I've coated a few of these HVAC filter vent covers for a local wrought iron maker ...

View attachment 173751

He just had his website published a few weeks ago and the orders are starting to come in. These vents are very sturdily constructed and are pretty heavy for a 5-foot 115 lb. woman to toss around. So the last time he dropped off vents to coat a couple weeks ago, he brought over a custom-built, collapsible, adjustable pipe frame for me to hang them on while I work. It's AWESOME ... it'll work great for not only his heavy-a$$ vents, but dash frames, rear end housings, bumpers, etc. He took the picture out of my head and made it real. I'm very impressed.

So last Thursday evening, my custom bike builder customer Jerry stopped by to pick up some finished parts and look at color swatches for a frame he's debuting soon. After a very lengthy visit, we arose from our stools at the work table, he picked up his swatches, and we started walking towards the door where the vent frame is sitting. Realizing it was going to be perfect to coat his frames on, I said

"Oh, Jerry! Before you leave I just have to show you my rack."

He dropped the swatches on the floor. "Well I thought you'd never offer."

A couple phone calls later and he's still laughing about it. Told me I have unbeatable customer service.
 
Quote: I'm straight as an arrow and they kinda scared me.

Sorry Leanna but I'm having trouble believing that anyone, with the exception of that guy off Texas Chainsaw Massacre and you'd still try kicking him in the nuts, could scare you. And as far as being straight well,:worthles:
 
We guys are pretty simple creatures. We need food, sex, Mopars.:-D Anything else is a bonus. :toothy10:
 
I was working at this mechanical repair joint.....anyway, this dude was doing a wheel-alignment......tests drive's the car.....comes back into the shop wondering what the noise was......he left one of the alignment heads on a wheel!!!!

Another one.....this apprentice was undoing the wheels nuts....but his Blue Point gun strips the heads off....all 5 nuts.....so he goes on his way and strips all 20 wheel nuts.
He then asks the tradesman in the next bay to give him a hand, tells him that he's striped the nuts, and they won't undo. The traddie asks how many he stripped....apprentice says all of them.....traddie looks at the damage.......then tells the apprentice...you wrecked the hub caps...they are fake wheel nuts on the hub caps.
The apprentice, me thinks, was stoned.
 
Hey Leanna, Looking forward to meeting you at MMW. By the way all of us men at FABO would love to drop by and see your @@@@!!!! What customer service. Billy doesn't mind? I'm still laughing.
 
Early in my life I was working in full service station (remember when we pumped the gas for for you?) and was a pump jockey/apprentice mechanic. The lead asked for a hand as he was trying to "diagnose" a no start situation on a FI GM. Well, he thought he'd spray ether in the thottle body while I cranked it over. After about 20 seconds and half a can or ether there was a huge flash and a WHUMP sound... I jumped out of the car to see him standing there, face blackened and his hair smoking. We both started cracking up.

At that very second a customer came in the door and I said "I better get this". He said "No wait, I'll take this one" and ran towards the glass door that seperated the shop from the cashier station. So there he is in what looks like blackface, missing most of his eyebrows and hair still smoking, being dead serious with this woman who wanted a price on shocks. I was literally rolling on the floor of the concrete shop, pounding my fists into the floor so she wouldn't hear me laughing.

Every now and again that vision pops into my head and I'll start laughing like a mad man. I never forget that until the day I die.
 
Back a few years ago, I was about 15 at the time, I was mechanicing in a snowmobile/motorcycle shop in a small town in southern Alta. It was winter and we used to race snowmobiles and we had a secret concoction racing fuel that consisted mostly of 90/105 Av gas. One day this guy that lives in town came in and convinced my boss Bob to sell him 5 gallons of this stuff (I'm pretty sure a couple bottles of Rum changed hands) for this sled he was building and I remember Bob telling this "idiot" to store the fuel outside, do not leave it in the garage. I think you know where I'm going with this :toothy10: because a couple hours later the town fire siren goes and by the time the truck got to this guys place the garage was a smoking pile of garbage. It seems the aformentioned idiot left the fuel in his "open burner heated" garage and she lit off.:angry7:

No one was hurt in the telling of this story.:-D
 
ramcharger said:
Early in my life I was working in full service station (remember when we pumped the gas for for you?) and was a pump jockey/apprentice mechanic. The lead asked for a hand as he was trying to "diagnose" a no start situation on a FI GM. Well, he thought he'd spray ether in the thottle body while I cranked it over. After about 20 seconds and half a can or ether there was a huge flash and a WHUMP sound... I jumped out of the car to see him standing there, face blackened and his hair smoking. We both started cracking up.

At that very second a customer came in the door and I said "I better get this". He said "No wait, I'll take this one" and ran towards the glass door that seperated the shop from the cashier station. So there he is in what looks like blackface, missing most of his eyebrows and hair still smoking, being dead serious with this woman who wanted a price on shocks. I was literally rolling on the floor of the concrete shop, pounding my fists into the floor so she wouldn't hear me laughing.

Every now and again that vision pops into my head and I'll start laughing like a mad man. I never forget that until the day I die.
Click to expand...
Thanks Joe, I will be seeing this the rest of my life....
 
Soooooo, what did that guy in the truck want again?
 
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