What are your favorite/most interesting sayings, aphorisms, metaphors, similes,etc.

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A few beers short of a 6 pack.
Couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.
If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his nose.
His elevator doesn't go to the top floor.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
She's a mutt.
Don't sweat the petty things, don't pet the sweaty things (George Carlin)
She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
 
Now that's a butter face, everything's great but her face!

She has rainy day legs, the kind i'd like to see clear up

This isn't my first rodeo
 
she looks like second place at the hammer fights , 2 years running
wouldn't take to a dog show ,she might win and I'd have to carry the sack of food for her
 
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