What are your favorite/most interesting sayings, aphorisms, metaphors, similes,etc.

[Brad426]

"FACTS ARE FUNNY THINGS"

Ronald Regan

 

[marksmopars]

Women have sex to get married and men get married to have sex!

Also, be careful picking a fight with an old guy, if he is too old to fight he might just kill you.

my 2 cents

 

[2-66 Cudas]

"I was Once Young, Dum & FULL of Cum - Now I'm Old, Cold (Thanks to Cumadin) and Full of Mold" My wife used to sleep close to me to get warm - now i'ts the other way around!!!

 

[dartfastback]

" You don't look at the mantle piece when your poking the fire."

 

[ATX]

Get r' done !

 

[superchargeddrt]

Whenever I would see a fat chick I used to say.....damn, all that meat and no potatoes

 

[superchargeddrt]

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on th way down.

Do you guys know what a 2 bagger is?

You have to put a bag over YOUR head in case her's breaks!

 

[superchargeddrt]

I told my dentist this and he couldn't stop laughing. I said that I figured that I'd better take care of my teeth because I didn't want moon teeth. He said moon teeth, what's that? I said they come out at night LOL

 

[sr71mopar]

Someone has to do it.

 

[hypermite]

If I had a dollar for every guy who told me he used to have a car that would "Yank the front tires off the ground."........I'd have enough money to build one that would.

 

[mullinax95]

"Here is your money" has always worked for me as being my favorite saying.

 

[Brad G]

"Don't feed me a sh*t sandwich and tell me it's a slice of sugar pie."

Quote from an old hog farmer.

 

[krazykuda]

I bet her p*ssy is tighter than a mouse's ear...

Off like a prom dress...

Eat your salad before it gets cold...

We have a pool and a pond, the pond will be good for you...

Hey Whitey, where's your hat...

Where are the white women at???

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M&feature=related"]Where are the white women at? - YouTube[/ame]

 

[swifter]

To the tight wad you know: "He's tighter than a frogs ***" So how tight is a frogs ***?---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------WATER TIGHT!!!!!!!!

 

[LH23H2R]

"It only takes one to take up space ;
It takes two to recognise a face ;
More than 'you' is a disgrace"

"See a broad to get that bodiac ; lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em !"

"Nuttier than Bat ****"

 

[cudamark]

He's so tight (miserly) that he squeeks when he walks.
I don't need to outrun the lion, I just need to outrun YOU!
When you're slapped, you'll take it and like it.

and my tag line, of course.........

 

[Rocky_JS]

damn that looks like a sack of smashed assholes.

focus on things you can control, if you worry on things you cannot control you'll die a very young death.

rodney dangerfield: she's an earth sign and im a water sign: together we make mud.

 

[cudamark]

I like one of Rodney's other ones......
The last time I saw a face like that.....it had a hook in it!

 

[kt340sport]

Colder then a Mother Inlaws,s Kiss!!!!!

 

[Rocky_JS]

I'm so poor I cant afford to go window shopping!

 

[Rocky_JS]

i'll hit you so hard your kids will walk backwards.

 

[ILLDuster74]

It's free to pay attention.

Fugly, combo of f***ing ugly

I'd rather be an asshole than a whole ***.

You can't polish a turd.

 

[GT340]

Don't let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird ***.

Busier than a one legged man in an *** kicking contest.

 

[The Sasquach]

Tear out like you stole something.
You'll have that in big time auto racing. David

 

[Paladin06]

Don't make me ***** slap you.

I'm gonna kick you in the *** so hard, you'll have a **** taste in your mouth.

I'll rip off your head and **** in your neck. (Full Metal Jacket)