What happened to parents being allowed to be parents?

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ramenth

ramenth

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First, I'll share the good news: Karli and I are expecting our second.

Yesterday we had our annual family Memorial Day get together and for the first time our families integrated.

Her family, particularly her mother, is insistent this one is girl. (They said that last time, too.) So, they decided to start naming "her."

They managed to piss of me and most of my family in the process as well as Karli. Two of the names thrown out were Sarah and Katie. This showed absolutely no respect for me, at all. I'm sorry, if it is a little girl I'm not naming my daughter after my deceased wife and I'll be damned if I'm naming her after my first (also deceased) daughter.

Both of these suggestions managed to piss off my sister and damn near got them thrown out by Karli.

The suggestion was made to name her Emily. As my great niece, Emilee, was playing with Cyrus. When Karli said, "We've already got an Emilee," Karli's grandmother spoke up and said, "well, we don't," as if Karli's family is the only ones who matter against Karli's and my combined family.

That managed to piss off my niece, Emilee's mom. And again, damn near got them thrown out by Karli.

Oh, but they insisted. My Dad is hard to piss off. Someone made the comment that she didn't like the name Cyrus. At that point my dad said his peace. "I was proud when Robert and Karli named their son after my dad. There was no finer man who walked the Earth."

Okay, first of all, this is Karli and my child. I don't remember the rest of her family being present when this baby was conceived so what makes them think they have naming rights?

And as far as that goes, throwing out names like Sarah and Katie are show a complete lack of respect for me.

Since when did we need the rest of the family's approval for the name of our children?

And since we're less than 10 weeks into this pregnancy isn't a bit on the bullshit side to start "picking" a gender based on what you want as opposed to the reality of who the kid will be? Isn't that like saying that you'll only love the baby if it's the "right" gender? (And for the record, Karli's family has a habit of playing favorites with their own children, Karli's grandmother "chose" Karli's mother over her aunt, and Karli's sister is the favorite over Karli. Tells me that if the new baby is a girl, then Cyrus will be made to take a backseat.)
 
There are only 2 people in this mix who really matter, you and Karli!! This is your joyful time, and all other opinions take a backseat to your dreams and wishes!! I would simply tell them that YOU will name YOUR baby when he or she arrives, and it will be a name that you two pick together that will reflect YOUR wishes, and don't worry, it will honor the baby, not anyone in the family!! If you choose to honor somebody in either family, that is YOUR choice, but it will honor a person worthy of being honored!!

Congrats to you and Karli on having another bundle of joy, may he or she be happy, healthy, and full of life and bring you a lifetime of joy!!
 

it is up to you and your wife to raise this child, and it is up to you and her to give the little one the name that belongs to 'em
I totally get how tough it can be with the inlaws but if I can freely speak, it is your job, as a husband, and as a father, to keep your wife and children from harm
to be their shield
sometimes that means you need to let people spew whatever is on their mind to you, to keep them from spewing it to the wife

not fun, but that is life
 
Never ceases to amaze me, the dumb things people do. "Hey, I'll go on a car message board and ask a bunch of untrained professionals, most of whom I have never met or even spoken to.
You need Dr, Phil, or a consulor, for your problems, with the family, not keyboard commandos on a car related web site.
 
hemi71x said:
Never ceases to amaze me, the dumb things people do. "Hey, I'll go on a car message board and ask a bunch of untrained professionals, most of whom I have never met or even spoken to.
You need Dr, Phil, or a consulor, for your problems, with the family, not keyboard commandos on a car related web site.
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Well, this is helpful. Did I ask for advice or didn't you read this was really a rant? Sometimes it helps to get things off your chest and when you can do so around like minded people it really helps. Not everyone has to agree with me, and I certainly don't have to agree with you or others, but thank you for taking the time to read it respond.
 
ramenth said:
Well, this is helpful. Did I ask for advice or didn't you read this was really a rant? Sometimes it helps to get things off your chest and when you can do so around like minded people it really helps. Not everyone has to agree with me, and I certainly don't have to agree with you or others, but thank you for taking the time to read it respond.
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Just calling it, like i see it, that's all.
 
Remember the old days when family was just happy for the parents? Today everyone wants to be center stage with their noses further n than they should.
 
ramenth said:
And for all that, no congrats on expecting the newest arrival. Thanks for the kind words.
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Ok then, congrats, but you have bigger family problems coming down the pike, than you want to admit too, that need to be addressed by professionals, other than auto mechanics, and uninformed, on auto related web sites.
 
Congrats Robert !! You and Karli name the child as you will. Screw everyone else. My Wife and I just had our first Grandchild born last month. Happy...Happy !!!
 
When it comes to family matters; all bets are off !Every family is different & none of us can give advise when it comes to these matters. A good book for everyone to read that has family problems is the book " Boundaries". Good book !
 
Congrats Robert. Just had a new great nephew. Babies are great. You've made a lot of friends on this sight, and sometimes it's a good place to vent. You can get things off your chest, and not risk pi$$ing off people you have do deal with daily. I didn't see that you asked for advice, but here's mine anyway. Do what you and your wife please. Regardless of what you have, and what you name him/her, the family will love them anyway. If anyone has a problem with the name, they're the problem, not you.
 
i don't know.. i think you are letting something bother you that really shouldn't. let them have their fun and when the time comes you and your wife will name the baby whatever the hell you want to. to get all wound up and pissed off at all this is just stupid.
 
Congratulations to Karli and you on a brother or sister for Cyrus (very solid name as I said when you introduced him here.)

To answer your question, people are becoming more crass and lacking in boundaries.

Advice, unsolicited, I would ignore their bait and smile at the thought that they don't live nearby and really have no power over any decisions you make.

A while ago former neighbor I seem to always run into everywhere, very mellow and charming guy, I was venting about someone, he shrugged and said "I don't take people too seriously." That made so much sense to me.
 
So glad I don't have to deal with family crap. If I were in your position I would have.....very unpolitely....thrown everyone out. What you name YOUR child is none of THEIR concern.

Ernie came from a family that was very close knit. Big gatherings several times a year. Me...only family gathering we has was my grandfathers 75th birthday in 1975. Ernie had a very tough time understanding this part of me...that is,until my mother's racism reared it's ugly head...please take no offense to this...called home to tell them we were getting hitched....Heard my mother yell to my father..."Ray, do you believe he is marrying that f.cking Spic?"....

Best of luck with your upcoming child...
 
Tell them if it's a girl, you're naming her Moon Unit, and if it's a boy, you're naming it Dweezil. End of discussion.
Then, when you tell them the real name, they'll be relieved and be happy for your choice. :-)
 
Congrats on your upcoming child...both my daughters were suppose to be sons according to everyone except me..by the way EMILY is an excellent name..
 
Congratulations on the new one, and I say name (him) anything but what one of them wants.
That way when they ask why, you can tell them you didn't want it to seem like playing favorites. :D

My Sis in law named her Son Coda, so Grandma as well as a few other won't call him by his first name at all.
 
A big congrats to you two. Never mind the family, it's not their call.
 
congrats. Name should be a strong name, A name that says to all, I don't take no ****!. You and your wife need to figure out what that name will be. IMO not meddling in laws or other family members.
 
64DartGTinAZ said:
Tell them if it's a girl, you're naming her Moon Unit, and if it's a boy, you're naming it Dweezil. End of discussion.
Then, when you tell them the real name, they'll be relieved and be happy for your choice. :)
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better yet, tell them its a boy, and your calling him barack Hussein your last name.
that oughta shut them up ;)
 
Why are you letting her mothers family get you so upset??? They are free to suggest baby names just like they are free to vote for whatever party they choose. Do you tell them who they should vote for? Do you get upset and pissed off if they vote for X and you vote for Y? They can talk about whatever name they like but you and your wife, as the parents, have the ultimate say. It seems like you are letting that side of the family get the better of you. Calm down, let those people dream about names they would like knowing that they won't have any decision in the ultimate name chosen.

Relax.
 
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