Sorry Guys I neet to Vent my Girlfriend Problems

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/6 Matt

/6 Matt

30 Degrees Crooked
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
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Location
Lincolnton, NC
So me and my girl kayleigh have been dating for three months now as of Sunday, she's 16 as of last month and I'll be 18 IN NOVEMBER. I love her to death, I really do, but her parents make it a humongous pain in the *** to even be with her. The obvious lack of trust is begining to really aggrivate the living piss out of me. It took an act of congress for her parents to even let her ride in the same car, actually it took prom. Whenever I leave her house, be it at her dads house or her moms, she walks me out to the car to say goodnight and we get literally TWO MINUTES before little sisters come running out here to say it's time to go inside. God knows if we have three minutes we're gonna have hot freaky sex right there in the driveway! Not too long ago I asked her mom if she could come with me to a DCI (Drum Corps International) show in Rock Hill SC which is 45 minutes south of us and stupid me thought maybe because her mom will barely trust us together in a car together that maybe, just maybe, I could have that. "But what if something happens" says, "that would come back on you" and I'm thinking "newsflash, accidents happen in NC to. They happen in Lenior (where she lives) they happen in Icard (Where I live) they happin in Hickory and Morganton and Rockhill. They happen when you drive, they happen when she drives, they happen when your stupid *** boyfriend who cant drive gets behind the wheel with you and your three girls in the car and you're telling me you're worried about an accident?!?" Now even though the douchebag boyfriend was kicked to the curb in another long story, now I have to worry sick over Kay having her license and driving all on her own. Now today I ask if she can drive over here tommorrow, cause we can finally take advantage of me not always having to drive to her, and my mom is out of town helping my sister with a broken knee cap and my dad might be at work. Leaving an empty house all for us. But GOD FORBID that happen cause not only will her mom not let her, but she just can't pretend that my dad is home. What's more this is the 5th or 6th time this bulls%#t has happened it's begining to make it a total pain in the ***. I told her I'm getting really sick of even asking her to come over because the threat of parental abscence is ever too often present and it only leads to us both feeling like ****. I told her this and she says maybe I should get a girlfriend who'
s parents don't care, honestly I wish it were that easy to find a girl who's parents actually trust her and just up and leave mine... I'm sorry to vent guys but I'm just flat out pissed and scared that one of the best things in my life is possibly about to come to end and it couldn't happen at a worse time with the depression I've been battling. I swear I'm so close to losing all hope. What should I do?

Here's a pic of us before prom.
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My parents always say if we want to have sex they can't stop us cause we'll find a way. Is it really too much to ask for her parents to trust US to make the right decisions and be responsible instead of her forcing her own agenda on us and manipulating us to the point that resentment brews between the three of us?
 
SOme parents, like my exwife, are control freaks. The sad thing is there isnt much you can do about it... especially since youre only 8 years old. LOL Joking aside. With parents like hers you may wanna keep that pistol holstered or you may wind up with her parents doing after you. the last thing you want is a sex with a minor charge and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life... creepy but it happens.

Best of luck to you man. Ive been there.
 
Do you sit down and actually talk to the parents so they might get to know you ? You want instant respect that is only earned over time , 3 months may be an eternity to you but you are talking about a Daughter here .... If she is not woth the "hassle" then move on .

Steve
 
I ain't even interested in sex though, I just want to be with her which is hard enough when she lives a county away... we only get to see each other every saturday if we're lucky.

btw, sorry forry the typos. I'm really disstressed right now.
 
damraider said:
Do you sit down and actually talk to the parents so they might get to know you ? You want instant respect that is only earned over time , 3 months may be an eternity to you but you are talking about a Daughter here .... If she is not woth the "hassle" then move on .

Steve
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I have talked to the parents. Very much. We're both jobless schoolkids so all we really do is hang out at each other's house where it's hard to avoid getting to know the parents. They like me and I respect them but I'm seriously about to have it out with them. Mostly the mom. I don't care if they don't trust me, but they could at least trust her considering she's never done anything wrong.
 
Oh, you guys are so young. :heart: Things will get better, just give it a few years. :love3:
 
70GT said:
Oh, you guys are so young. :heart: Things will get better, just give it a few years. :love3:
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That's what everyone says and honestly I wish we were 5 years older. But hearing that never helps. Like I said I've been battling deppression for quite awile and I can honestly say is I'm "lucky" to be sitting here today, let alone in a few years.
 
Been there done that......almost 25 myself now.......to most guys here on FABO I am still considered a "youngster" I guess......but I have done the hole puppy love thing and have grown up and I am here to tell about it.

here is the thing......as much as you may cringe to hear this. your young,she is even younger.......no matter WHAT you do....her parents still have the final say for another 2 years......and the parents of a daughter normally are more protective (especially the dads most of the time).....they are just protecting her.....probably have no agenda to make life terrible for you.....it just happens to seem that way.

in reality.....most highschool puppy love relationships do not last very long (I know you say you "love" her....I don't doubt that.....but being that you have only been together 3 months you may find it best to cut the relationship off now before either of you become any more emotionally invested and THEN decide to call it quits as it may hurt more.

you have plenty of time to settle down in the future....so why spend so much time now going through the head trip?

I grew up with depression among other things and still deal with it today and I know first hand that being young and dealing with the drama a highschool girl brings can REALLY mess with you.

so my advice is to either wait it out, deal with what the parents choices are and sit down with them and talk to them and let them know who you are and GAIN their trust rather than requesting it......then....maybe.....you can make it work and make a long term thing out of it.

otherwise, end the relationship and move on......it will be tough at first but it gets easier with time.

also, on a side note....they may be wary as to leave you to alone being that she is 16 and you are 18.....they will fear the worste and being you are considered an adult and she still a minor .... IF you two were to sleep together it would be considered statutory rape which could land you some serious jail time and would probably make you a registered sex offender..... I know you said sex is not something you are thinking about but I figured I would mention it as possibly being one of the things the parents think about.

plus they are probably thinking of her education among other things.....younger people tend to get side tracked very easily by relationships and do not think as rationally as they should when it comes to certain important choices.

I myself am a parent and I am a pro at being a worry wart LOL.......its a hard thing to understand some of the things that go through a parents mind and to understand the reasons behind some of the things they do.....until you yourself one day are a parent.
 
Maybe her mom remembers herself at her daughter's age. Maybe she is afraid of having to be a surrogate mother to a granddaughter like so many others. Maybe she wants to feel that her daughter is going to continue with her education and possibly go to college or university and is concerned a serious relationship might jeopardize that. Maybe she is uncomfortable with the fact you are 18 and she is 16. Here in Canada 18 is the age of majority in many provinces. Maybe she sees (as you yourself stated) that you are in "love" with her child and she feels that maybe you are too serious about your relationship.

Having it "out" with her mom is going to be the worst avenue for you to take, regardless of how you try it lol.. Just stay cool.

Parents want the best for their kids, and I know I want the "best" for my daughter. Has dad taken you out to the shop and showed you all the dangerous tools he has? Just kiddin'

Grant
 
The depression thing is a different issue altogether. Why the depression? Is it over the girl and the situation? While I agree with the comment of waiting it out, don't waste your youth with it. Enjoy it while you can. If the girl is worth waiting for then wait. If not then move on. At your age you can bounce around all over the place! Some parents are free spirits and some are total control. Pick your battles.
 
OK, you might not like hearing this but...

1) 3 months is not a long time for you to know if you really love her and
for her parents to really know you.

2) As long as she is a minor her parents call the shots. Until that time it
actually protects YOU to only see her in her parents' presence.
Otherwise if something happens while you are alone with her it's
your word against hers, and you could get in big trouble.

3) You can't let your depression or your self esteem be dependent on whether you have a girlfriend or not. It's part of becoming an adult to learn to take responsibility for the conditions in your life and your emotions and not blame other people or forces.

In short, just keep seeing her at her parents' house till you are both 18. Her parents will respect you for that and you will respect yourself for seeing the big picture...it's less than 2 years til you're both 18. Good luck.
 
craigslist has everything right?

put up a wanted ad "looking for girl with care free parents" HAHAHA..... Just messing with you.
 
As a dad of a daughter, I'm going to say this.
With my son, I worry about 1 dick,
with my daughter, I worry about all of them.
I don't know the girls parents, but I'm willing to bet they just want her to get thru school without getting pregnant, into drugs/alcohol or the worst, getting hurt or killed.
I doubt seriously it's anything personal, they're just looking out for their girl. For that, you should be grateful.
Like goldfish said, it's only 2 years.
I understand that it may seem like forever, but give her parents time and reasons to warm up to you and trust you.
It's better than the alternative, them completely cutting you off.
 
DusterDude72 said:
craigslist has everything right?

put up a wanted ad "looking for girl with care free parents" HAHAHA..... Just messing with you.
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Hmm, I'd do that except I'm 54. Might look kinda creepy...lol


Anyway you've been given great advise here I don't need to repeat. Remember, SHE IS A MINOR!!!! YOU ARE NOT!!!! Can you say sex offender? I knew you could. It's not something to take lightly either, it's a bad moniker to be saddled with and it will be with you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!

Nothing to play around with.
 
I have to say as a parent of 15 year old twin girls, an 18 year old sniffing around them would see me cleaning my shotgun..........every time he came over. It kind of reminds me of comedian Bill Engaval (sp) when he met his daughter's first boyfriend. He took him aside and said "son every time you think about kissing her, or snuggling with her or anything with her I just want you to remember she's my only daughter, my baby, and I've been to prison once and don't mind going again." Sorry, just the dad in me speaking I guess.
 
I said I was gonna be 18 IN NOVEMBER! I'm still a minor too which I don't give jack crap about anyways cause I don't care about sex. I don't want sex. Sex is the LAST thing on my mind. If I wanted sex I'd go find one of the slutty little freshman at my school to get laid. I picked the best girl I could find and busted my butt to woo her because I genuinely liked her and figured that she was the type of girl I could take the long haul with and 3 months later I still feel exactly the same way but her darned parents can't cut the cord. She's gonna grow up sooner or later and have to make her own decisions and right now all they're doing is setting her up for failure by making decisions for her. She wants to finish school and she wants to go to a college and teach kindergarden. I want to finish school and go to college and do what-the-hell-I-still-don't-know. We've both talked and agreed we don't want to have sex yet, we don't want kids yet. We want to finish life first. We decided to wait and be prepared just in case so IF we do anything, we can do it responsibly. But again, we don't want to do it and there is a 99% chance for this to not happen... Many have pointed out that 3 months is no time at all and if I'm gonna end it I should now but the truth is for the short amount of time it's been we're screwed. I kicked an addiction to pot for her and I'm truly sincere when i say she was worth it. She is the best thing that's ever happened to me hands down and her parents just don't see that...
 
If the issue with the parents does not resolve itself after a few more months, then it is time to move on. Trust is a hard thing to get and even harder in your socks. Oh, your also a bit to old for her IMO. At least for now.
 
In Texas if your over 18 & girl is under 17 it will get you 20 for statutory rape !
 
Haha try dating a philipina that just moved to the USA. We've been together for 3 years now(started at age 16) and it took the father 13 months to even say hello to me. I know how you feel bud. Just bite your lip and roll with the punches haha Sry, no good news here haha
 
/6 Matt said:
I said I was gonna be 18 IN NOVEMBER! I'm still a minor too which I don't give jack **** about anyways cause I don't care about sex. I don't want sex. Sex is the LAST thing on my mind. If I wanted sex I'd go find one of the slutty little freshman at my school to get laid. I picked the best girl I could find and busted my *** to woo her because I genuinely liked her and figured that she was the type of girl I could take the long haul with and 3 months later I still feel exactly the same way but her goddamn parents can't cut the cord. She's gonna grow up sooner or later and have to make her own decisions and right now all they're doing is setting her up for failure by making decisions for her. She wants to finish school and she wants to go to a college and teach kindergarden. I want to finish school and go to college and do what-the-hell-I-still-don't-know. We've both talked and agreed we don't want to have sex yet, we don't want kids yet. We want to finish life first. We decided to wait and be prepared just in case so IF we do anything, we can do it responsibly. But again, we don't want to do it and there is a 99% chance for this to not happen... Many have pointed out that 3 months is no time at all and if I'm gonna end it I should now but the truth is for the short amount of time it's been we're screwed. I kicked an addiction to pot for her and I'm truly sincere when i say she was worth it. She is the best thing that's ever happened to me hands down and her parents just don't see that...
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Sorry dude. I have never met any male 18 who didnt want sex. Aint gonna believe it no way no how. We were all 18 at one time. If you dont want sex hanging out with the guys is a lot more fun. I tell my daughters boyfriends to look at my face.Then I tell them to remember it because its the last thing they will see if they hurt my girls.
 
It's hard for Daddy's to let go of their little girl.

Dude, she's 16 and just a couple years ago she was in diapers, now this kid comes around with a hot car, hormones popping like mad and Dad is probably beside himself wondering what to do.
It's hard for parents with girls because you don;t want them to get too serious at a young age which could lead to a pregnancy or other things depending on the kids invovled.
Most parents want their kids to go to college and get their degree before they become seriously attached to a guy which could me a pregnancy, no college, stay at home Mom too young to know how to handle life, the young Husband with the same issues, not a good job.
I have had 2 Daughters flush everything, and I mean everything down the drain to be with the "perfect guy" who turned out to be the perfect asshole.
My oldest flushed away a 2 year free college scholarship, ten thousand in savings, a full time job, a car and a flat belly at the age of 19 and now at the age of 22 has nothing to show for it other than bad credit, no money, a kid with no Dad because he decided video games, friends and beer are more important than his Wife and kid.
The other Daughter ran off with the druggies and never returned.

The middle One is in college and will be entering the military as an officer.
She is dating a very nice kid who's an M.P. for the National guard.
She is putting career first and taking it very slow and always asks us for advice because she respects my Wife's and my opinion and wants our advice.
She went so far as to tell this kid if you disrespect my Parents, you and I are through.

I have two other Daughters, 16 and 15 who are, thank God not interested in boys yet, it's tough to be a good Parent, and trust needs to be earned.
It's even tougher when a boy comes around and yes we know all about it because we were young once too.

I think if you respect her and her parents and don't act cocky or like a weirdo you should warm up to them.
You just gotta be patient with these things.

Once she is 18 her Parents will ease off because they know she's an adult and hopefully she will continue to be trustworthy and make good decisions with a nice guy (you).
 
She has some quality parents that care about their daughters future. She is 15 and you are 17 and you don't think about sex?

I am not sure I believe you; when I was 17, sex and cars were all I thought about. If you want a relationship with this girl, you better warm up to to the mom so she knows and trusts you with her daughter.
 
Ok here's what I have to say I can probally relate to you better because I was in your shoes about 3, yrs ago I'm 20 now almost 21 in Aug when I first started to date my girl her parents would not let her go anywhere with me alone and always had someone with us even on dates to movies the parents (mom) would have to accept the movie we were going to watch it was mostly pg movies. It took months for us to get more freedom and going places alone I would say 6 or so months now 4 yrs dating I asked her to marry me and the parents love me so with that said just hang in there it takes time buddy......
 
You just have to be polite and respectiful to her parents.What ever you do... do not have it out with them or blow up on them.Sounds like the parents like you enough to let you hang out with her and that's in your favor.And after 3 months together is not long enough to know if you really love her is bullshit.I fell in love with my wife after 2 months together and we have been together 18 years now.
If the Father is alittle more easier to deal with chip away at him more.Just be careful not to piss off Mom whatever you do.Just remember that is their little girl no matter how old she is.Just hang in there and hopefully her parents will come around.
 
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