12 Dad jokes

[Dartnut]

What is alimony?
The high cost of leaving...

 

[Dartnut]

A dad asked his little boy: What does A&W mean to you?
Little boy: Amburger and Woot Beer...

 

[Dartnut]

What did the farmer say when he got up in the morning and realized his dog had ran away from home?
Dog-gone...

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. what do snails become when they die? escarghosts. 2. why is the letter b so cold? because it's near the ac.

 

[Ahoey]

A dad asked his little boy: What does A&W mean to you?
Little boy: Amburger and Woot Beer...

Albert and Walter?

 

[Dartnut]

What do you call a cat walking through the desert on Christmas eve?
Sandy Claws.

 

[Dartnut]

A customer says to the Beer store clerk an points: ''I drink that brand in the can.''
The clerk said back to him: ''That's a good place to drink 'em!''

 

[joel d. snyder]

today's entry.....1. did you hear the story of the magic sandwich? never mind, it's just a bunch of bologna. 2. which breed of dog will always laugh at your jokes? a chi-ha-ha.

 

[Dartnut]

What do you call a Canary that flies into a fan?
Shredded tweet.

 

[Dartnut]

Where did Noah keep the bees?
In the Arc Hives.

 

[joel d. snyder]

greetings, earthlings, once again...1. how did scrooge end up with the soccer ball? the ghost of christmas passed. 2. i was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.

 

[Dartnut]

What did Captain Hook die from?
Jock itch.

 

[Dartnut]

What do you have when you've got 6 ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.

 

[joel d. snyder]

ok, .....1. how do you get a mouse to smile? say "cheese" 2. how do you weigh a millenial? in instagrams.

 

[joel d. snyder]

happy fourth! 1. why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? because he was always spotted. 2. i sold my vacuum the other day. all it was doing was collecting dust.

 

[joel d. snyder]

another saturday over....1. what kind of cheese isn't yours? nacho cheese. 2. why are dogs like phones? because they have collar id.

 

[Unconventional]

 

[Dartnut]

What's red and goes putt putt putt putt?
An outboard apple.

 

[Dartnut]

Where do monsters go to for a holiday?
The Scarribbean.

 

[norshorblufish]

What do you call a three card Monty dealer from Mongolia?

“Slick!”

I bet you thought I was going to say Genghis Khanman.

 

[Dartnut]

What's Gatorade?
Welfare for Crocodiles.

 

[Dartnut]

What do you hit a mouse with when it's in your house?
The Mickey Mouse club...

 

[joel d. snyder]

another day another...1. what did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? namaste. 2. what do you call a minotaur in a playground? a swing and a myth.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Dartnut]

What do you call subsidised housing for midgets?
Stay free mini pads.