12 Dad jokes

[Dartnut]

Customer: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: To me, it looks like the backstroke...

 

[Dartnut]

Then there was the man who fell in the glass blowing machine and made a spectacle of himself...

 

[abdywgn]

Thanks for all the jokes! I share them with my wife while she is at work...in the next room. Enjoy hearing her groan and say "that's a Dad joke"!

 

[joel d. snyder]

Thanks for all the jokes! I share them with my wife while she is at work...in the next room. Enjoy hearing her groan and say "that's a Dad joke"!

well, yeah, they are.

 

[joel d. snyder]

today's entry....1. what do you call a fibbing cat? a lion. 2. why should you sit in a corner when you get cold? because most corners are 90 degrees.

 

[Dartnut]

Lady in a department store: ''Sir, could you please help me out?''
Clerk: ''Certainly ma'am. Which way did you come in?''

 

[Dartnut]

A Priest, a Nun, and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
The Bartender exclaims: ''What is this? a joke?''

 

[joel d. snyder]

happy friday ...1. why do cats smell good? because they wear so much purrfume. 2. why did the little girl cross the playground? to get to the other slide.

 

[Dartnut]

Legend has it that George Washington threw a silver dollar across the Potomac river.
Why couldn't that be done today?
Because money doesn't go as far as it used to.

 

[Dartnut]

What do you call a cat that knows C.P.R.?
A first aid kit.

 

[joel d. snyder]

and...1. what is a butterfly's favorite subject at school? moth-e-matics. 2. knock, knock. who's there? closure. closure who? closure mouth when you're chewing.

 

[Dartnut]

How do you make anti freeze?
Take away her night gown.

 

[Dartnut]

What's a toilet's favorite sport?
Bowling.

 

[diymirage]

How do you make anti freeze?
Take away her night gown.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? it has great food but no atmosphere. 2. what's the most common wine at christmas? "but i don't like brussel sprouts!"

 

[Dartnut]

What did Dracula call his boat?
A blood vessel.

 

[Dartnut]

How did Herpes get out of the Hospital?
On crotches.

 

[ProjectBazza]

1. did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? it has great food but no atmosphere. 2. what's the most common wine at christmas? "but i don't like brussel sprouts!"

For some reason these two struck me as pretty funny! Maybe it’s the adult beverages I’ve had, I don’t know.

Anyway, Thanks!

 

[RustyRatRod]

How did Herpes get out of the Hospital?
On crotches.

That reminds me of what I had planned to name my rat truck. Crotch Rot.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. why did the little lamb go everywhere mary went? he wanted to mark his territory. 2. what did the left eye say to the right eye? between you and me, something smells.

 

[joel d. snyder]

evening, troops......1. what do you call a lonely cheese? provolone. 2. why did the donut go to the dentist? to get a jelly filling.

 

[Dartnut]

How can you tell a Bald Eagle from a regular Eagle?
The Bald Eagle is the one that combs his feathers over the top of his head...

 

[Dartnut]

How come there were so many babies born 9 months after WW2 started?
Because the men were all scared stiff and the women took advantage of it...

 

[joel d. snyder]

is it friday yet? .....1. why should you always knock on a refrigerator door before opening it? in case there's a salad dressing inside. 2. how do you know when santa's around? you can always sense his presents.

 

[Dartnut]

What is another name for a Gynecologist?
A Privates Investigator.