12 Dad jokes

[joel d. snyder]

today's contestants.....1. what do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog. 2. the term for a chronic fear of giants is fee-fi-phobia.

 

[peedee]

Only the 2 as the others would need to go in politics or get certain people upset at me as they obviously cannot poke fun at their politicians, like us Australians can it is part of the national culture to polly bash

 

[joel d. snyder]

howdy! 1. what is an english teacher's favorite breakfast food? synonym rolls. 2. why shouldn't you trust stairs? because they're always up to something.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

yay! it's thursday! ok, the rest of you don't care much but i don't work friday......1.why couldn't superman play in the local playground as a child? because adult super - vision was required. 2. why do they call it a litter of puppies? because they mess up the whole house.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

and a 1 and a 2 .....1.why should you never date tennis players? because love means nothing to them. 2. what do you call a train carrying bubble gum? a chew - chew train.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

happy saturday.....1.where do wasps go for lunch? a bee-stro. 2. what sort of tea do hockey players not want to give the opposing team? a penaltea.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. what is a math teacher's favorite desert? pi. 2. what kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? reali-tea.

 

[Dartnut]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.

 

[diymirage]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.

How was this not the very first one posted ?

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. why did the fart miss graduation? because it got expelled. 2. what do gymnasts, acrobats, and bananas have in common? they all do the splits.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Yunick13]

 

[383Duster]

I heard the company that makes yard sticks isn’t going to make them any longer…..

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. what is a dog's favorite pizza topping? pupperoni. 2. why do bees have sticky hair? because they use a honeycomb.

 

[joel d. snyder]

ok, folks....1. where do cats get their information from? the morning mews. 2. why are spiders so smart? because they can find everything on the web.

 

[Dartnut]

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come to you anyway...

 

[Ahoey]

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef

 

[missing linc]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on your doorstep? Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pool? Bob

 

[joel d. snyder]

always happy to see other contributions.....1. a friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns , but toucan play at that game. 2. what do you call an angry grilled cheese sandwich that's right in your face? too close for comfort food.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Ahoey]

always happy to see other contributions.....1. a friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns , but toucan play at that game. 2. what do you call an angry grilled cheese sandwich that's right in your face? too close for comfort food.

Better watch your back he could be Robin you.