12 Dad jokes

[joel d. snyder]

on and on and....1. what happened when the teacher tied all the children's shoe laces together? they had a class trip. 2. which hand is better to write with? neither, it's better to write with a pen.

 

[Dartnut]

What do you call 20 rabbits in a row walking backwards?
A receding hare line.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. what do you call it when a group of baboons start a company? monkey business. 2. people who use selfie sticks really need to take a good, long look at themselves.

 

[Dartnut]

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence...

 

[joel d. snyder]

and a 1. what are the two reasons you shouldn't drink from the toilet? number 1 and number 2. 2.what is the world's tallest building? the library because it has the most stories.

 

[Scody21]

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence...

Always wondered why a perfectly good blonde would dye her roots brown…

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Dartnut]

What do you get when you mix Holy Water with Castor Oil?
A religious movement...

 

[joel d. snyder]

happy friday! oh, sorry, it's thursday. i don't work tomorrow. 1. what is a snake's favorite subject at school? hisstory. 2. why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? to get to the bottom.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. what did the mummy tomato say to the baby? i love you from my head tomatoes. 2.why didn't the banana enjoy the playground? because he was scared of the monkey bars.

 

[diymirage]

. why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? to get to the bottom.

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road ?



It got stuck in the crack

 

[joel d. snyder]

ok, tonight's entertainment or torture depending on your point of view.....1. why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef? because he'll dessert you. 2. i took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. but if anything, it made him more sluggish.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. why's it bad to iron a 4 leaf clover? because you shouldn't press your luck. 2.why aren't koalas actual bears? because they don't meet the koalafications.

 

[peedee]

What does the star ship enterprise and toilet paper have in common
They both go around Uranus looking for Klingons

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. what type of dog is also a magician? a labracadabrador. 2. i'm reading a book about anti-gravity. it's impossible to put down.

 

[Unconventional]

 

[abdywgn]

where do bad rainbows go? prism, it's a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[jeff alder]

 

[joel d. snyder]

howdy......1. have you ever tried to eat a clock? it's very time consuming. 2. how can you tell if you have a lazy dog? it only chases parked cars.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Ahoey]

howdy......1. have you ever tried to eat a clock? it's very time consuming. 2. how can you tell if you have a lazy dog? it only chases parked cars.

That’s why Pugs and Bull dogs have flat faces. Chasing parked cars.

 

[joel d. snyder]

uh huh and .....1. what kind of music do planets like? neptunes. 2. knock, knock. who's there? nobel. nobel who? nobel, that's why i knocked.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. what is bruce banner's favorite cheese? the in-cheddar-ble hulk. 2. what do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? lmayo.

 

[Yunick13]