12 Dad jokes

[Yunick13]

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

ta da! 1. why did the ice cream truck break down? because of the rocky road. 2. which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments? mount rushmore.

 

[joel d. snyder]

how yinz doin' today .....1.what did the dishwasher say to the oven after a productive day? you've been on fire. 2. my skiing skills are going downhill.

 

[ProjectBazza]

Never noticed where you’re located, but the “yinz” gave it away immediately! Have family and friends all over PA, but haven’t been out there for a few years.

Anyway, thanks for the “yinz”!

 

[joel d. snyder]

and now for your viewing pleasure....1.how does a sheep say "merry christmas"? fleece navidad. 2. people who rob banks and jewelery stores are pretty bad, but people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

evening folks......1.a guy just threw a glass of milk at me. how dairy! 2. what do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public? a private tooter.

 

[joel d. snyder]

aw, man, the weekend's over....1. how can you double your money instantly? look at it in the mirror. i've also heard that folding it over and putting it back in your pocket works. 2. why do golfers hate cake? because they might get a slice.

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

ok,guys. this is the last of the first 100 jokes. you can either beg me to stop or with some small sign of encouragement i will continue. i've got 300 more. 1.what does a house wear? address. 2. how do aliens add more protein to their diet? they make it meteor.

 

[RustyRatRod]

ok,guys. this is the last of the first 100 jokes. you can either beg me to stop or with some small sign of encouragement i will continue. i've got 300 more. 1.what does a house wear? address. 2. how do aliens add more protein to their diet? they make it meteor.

Keep um coming. lol

 

[ProjectBazza]

ok,guys. this is the last of the first 100 jokes. you can either beg me to stop or with some small sign of encouragement i will continue. i've got 300 more. 1.what does a house wear? address. 2. how do aliens add more protein to their diet? they make it meteor.

No, don't stop! I need my morning groan chuckle!

 

[diymirage]

ok,guys. this is the last of the first 100 jokes. you can either beg me to stop or with some small sign of encouragement i will continue. i've got 300 more. 1.what does a house wear? address. 2. how do aliens add more protein to their diet? they make it meteor.

i say keep going untill you find a good one

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Dartnut]

Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish Funeral?
A: One less drunk.

 

[Dartnut]

A banana, a carrot, and a head of lettuce are walking across a crosswalk when they all were hit by a car at high speed.
The banana wakes up in the hospital and says to the doctor... ''how am I doing and my 2 friends?''
The doctor said ''You will be fine, but your friends will be vegetables the rest of their lives.''

 

[joel d. snyder]

thanks for the vote of confidence and on we go .......... 1. what do snowmen have for breakfast? ice crispies. 2. to whoever invented zero, thanks for nothing.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. why does yogurt love going to the museum? because it's cultured. 2. why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino? because he was on a roll.

 

[joel d. snyder]

and here we go ....1.why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? he wanted to get a long little doggie. 2. what's E.T short for? he's only got little legs.

 

[RustyRatRod]

lol

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

greetings, earthlings......1. how can you tell if it's a dogwood tree? by the bark. 2. why do peppers hate winter? they get a little chili.