12 Dad jokes

[Dartnut]

How do Eskimo families stick together?
With Igloo.

Why did the Mafia put out a contract out on Einstein?
Because he knew too much.

 

[abdywgn]

1. Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine.
   
   There was a heated debate about theft at the restaurant, so I decided not to take sides.
   
   What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…'”A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this…”
   
   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
   
   If Walmart is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the store free yet?
   
   The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything goes wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.
   
   You’ll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age.

Thanks for the jokes Brad!

 

[ProjectBazza]

1. Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine.
   
   There was a heated debate about theft at the restaurant, so I decided not to take sides.
   
   What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…'”A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this…”
   
   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
   
   If Walmart is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the store free yet?
   
   The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything goes wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.
   
   You’ll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age.

Thanks for the jokes Brad!

Some good ones there!

 

[abdywgn]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for! Open the door!